Search - Amateur Porn Star Killer on DVD

A failure at everything it attempts.

Robert P. Beveridge | Cleveland, OH | 03/30/2009

(1 out of 5 stars)

"Amateur Porn Star Killer (Shane Ryan, 2007)

The best thing about Amateur Porn Star Killer is watching its director and "star", Shane Ryan, absolutely destroying his career. Not that you can call guest appearances on such deathless TV shows as That's So Raven (possibly the worst show on television), Arrested Development, and The O.C. a "career". But it is what it is. Or was, until Amateur Porn Star Killer, made on an estimated budget (according to IMDB) of forty-five dollars(!) and seemingly successful enough that Ryan has helmed three(!) sequels in the intervening two years. Why is this? I have no idea.

Plot: a guy (Ryan) picks up a girl (Ryan regular Michiko Jimenez) and takes her back to his hotel room. This occurs after some unrelated scenes and a couple of title cards about snuff films, so you can guess that the outcome of this tete-a-tete will not be a happy one. What you don't expect is how intensely, incredibly, awe-inspiringly boring this supposed snuff film is going to be. The opening scenes and the description give us the idea that we're dealing with a serial killer, but this isn't a slasher film; this is, in real time, everything that happens between Brandon (the killer) and Stacey (the victim). Given two actors capable of handling the material, which is actually delivered in what might have been a surprisingly effective script (co-written by Ryan and Jimenez), this would have been riveting stuff. Two-person movies, done right, are wonderful--Closetland, My Dinner with Andre, etc. This is not one of them. Jimenez does have some real potential, as she manages to infuse Stacey with a healthy dose of nervousness. We always get a sense that Stacey is real. (I liked Jimenez so much in this, or would have had I liked the movie, I made the mistake of watching Ryan's short The Cold Heat, also included on the disc, to see more of Jimenez.) We never get that sense about Brandon, and there's no real reason to think that Stacey would have been taken in by this guy, about whom we never get even a hint of likability. (Ironically, the movie's tagline is "but he looked like a really nice guy." oops.) With the original plot point of the movie so flawed, it can only really go downwards from there, which is exactly what it does.

Warning: while, as I said before, you can pretty much tell what's coming from the first five minutes, the remainder of this review could be considered to contain spoilers, so if you're the kind of person who's surprised by the end of a Jodi Picoult novel, stop reading now.

The movie is seventy-one minutes long. Aside from the first five minutes or so, which consist of the stuff I talked about earlier, and the final fifteen, which consist of Brandon raping and murdering Stacey (and, again, this sort of thing can be absolutely gripping; witness Flower of Flesh and Blood), there's a long conversation. This might well have worked were there any chemistry between these characters, or were they able to achieve dramatic tension between them. As I said before, I had no problem with Jimenez' character in the first regard. Stacey is entirely believable. Brandon is the problem here. As for the second part, the fact that Brandon is so hard to believe in this movie makes it kind of a moot point, no matter how good Stacey may be. Since, however, neither aspect of the bulk of the movie works, the bulk of the movie doesn't work.

I'd love to see a remake of this with actors who could pull it off. Unfortunately, given the depravity of the subject matter, the chances of that happening are slim and none, especially in a culture where the PG-13 horror movie seems to be making a resurgence in popularity. So you're stuck with the finished product, which could have been so much better than it is. Worth renting on the cheap to catch what I hope is a rising star in Jimenez, but otherwise, don't waste your time. (half)

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