Batman Robin DVD with Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell (PG-13) +Movie Reviews

Thank your Saints that movies can't produce odors...

PohlSE | Texas | 05/28/2006

(1 out of 5 stars)

"How to review one of the five worst movies ever made?

I could say that Batman and Robin plays less like a superhero movie and more like an episode of Queer Eye for the Hero Guy; but that doesn't quite capture the true level of putrid that this film reaches.

I could say that Alicia Silverstone (playing Batgirl, if you can believe it) and spandex pants are not friends; but that might seem a little too snarky.

I could say that Joel Schumacher's "direction" is so non-existent and Akiva Goidsman "writing" so abysmal that the entire film never even manages to reach the quality of the average high school talent show; but that doesn't give enough credit to talent shows.

I could point out that all the flashing neon that assaults the viewers during nearly every scene (and from nearly every Bat device that the "stealthy" Dark Knight uses) causes severe eye strain before the movie is half way through; but most viewers lost their vision when their eyes were poked out by the huge, hard nipples on the Batsuit, and the rest of the viewers either turned it off or committed suicide before the halfway mark anyway.

I could say that Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, and Alicia Silverstone all turn in the worst performances of their entire careers (and with Silverstone that's really saying something); but that might be too obvious since none of them ever mentions this film at all, even when asked about it.

But instead of saying all that I think I can sum it up best like this:

Not since "Manos: The Hands of Fate" (the worst film ever made) have I ever actually felt myself aging second by second while watching a movie until I watched Batman and Robin.

I have no doubt that this movie plays on a continuous loop in hell.
"

Special Guest Villain: Joel Schumacher

Scott T. Rivers | Los Angeles, CA USA | 03/24/2008

(1 out of 5 stars)

"You know you're in trouble when "Batman & Robin" (1997) turns out to be less entertaining than the low-budget 1949 serial. Director Joel Schumacher deserves the blame for this comic-book fiasco and remains the Ultimate Bat Villain. George Clooney gives it his best shot as the Dark Knight, but has the misfortune of appearing in the all-time worst Batman movie."

Fourth Chapter Is A Visually Impressive Guilty Pleasure

G. Joseph Evans | Port Jefferson Station, NY USA | 05/01/2001

(3 out of 5 stars)

"I know I'm probably going to get some flack for this, but I actually enjoyed this movie. It's kind of a guilty pleasure though because most people (including most of my friends) hated it. It is not my favorite BATMAN film by any means. I liked the darker Tim Burton movies the best, but I enjoyed this film simply for the eye candy it offers and for also Arnold Schwarzenegger. The movie is beautiful to look at (it was the most expensive BATMAN flick to date) and I although I'm not really a Schwarzenegger fan, I thought Arnold was very effective as Mr. Freeze, totally overshadowing George Clooney's portrayal of Batman and also Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy. (Did you ever notice Clooney's rather annoying acting style of tilting his head to one side while shaking it at the same time?)Now the really bad news: Joel Schumacher (who also directed BATMAN FOREVER) was absolutely relentless with his flamboyant camp style in this chapter. BATMAN FOREVER hinted at the camp, but never took it to the extreme that this film does (think Superman II vs. Superman III). Some of the action sequences are really unbelievable (the embarrassing kind of unbelievable that is). There are also some very cheesy lines that could've been left out, particularly some of the Batgirl / Poison Ivy dialogue that's exchanged when they're fighting in Ivy's lair. Things are generally a little too bright in this movie which takes all of the mystery out of the "dynamic duo", making the film more of a live-action cartoon than a comic adaptation of the Dark Night. Of course, the constant change of actors playing the title role didn't help either (Clooney is currently the third actor to portray Batman in this series). This is why most people panned the movie, I guess.So with all that said, hopefully this will be Schumacher's last turn as director. Supposedly there are two new BATMAN movies in the works right now. A live-action version of the animated series BATMAN: BEYOND (about the new Batman of the future-Terry McGinnis, under the guidance of a very senior Bruce Wayne) and in the opposite direction, BATMAN: YEAR ONE (about Batman's first year of crime fighting)."

I refuse to accept this movie as a Batman movie!

Joey | Seattle | 11/02/2002

(1 out of 5 stars)

"This movie really deserves one-fifteenth of a star.
I was really sad that the Batman franchise had sunk this low. After the fairly presentable Forever, Joel Schumacher apparently decided to mess up the series. There is only one word to describe this movie:BLEEEHHHHHHH!Next I will tell you 10 things that are wrong with the movie (are you ready?)1. The aerodynamic, multipurpose, satilite tracking, fully disposable, iron ore, morphing, horrible Batsuit. The nipples in Forever were stupid, but at least the yellow symbol was still there. Now there is a giant, silver bat on his chest. It looks like he's wearing a football jersey.2. Robin's symbol. Now THAT'S dumb! The gold "R" with the green circle may be bland, but at least its recognizable. The "robin" looks like an albatross.3. Freeze's awful acting. As if he could never say anything NOT refering to his heat imparation. You never heard the Joker say stupid lines like "The joke's on YOU! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" By the way, he had the worst line of the series: "First Gotham, and then, the WORLD!" That is something I'd expect from a child's sci-fi cartoon.4. Bat gadgets. Just in case the city freezes I'd better build a BATSLED! Just in case I run across 2 frozen scientists I better take along a couple of BATTHERMALDEVICES! Just in case I get stuck in a Blues/Red Wings game I better install some BATSKATES!5. Color. There was so much color I was expecting to see the MGM. Batman Returns also had ice and snow. Why wasn't it colorful? Oh yeah. Burton. Right. 6. The soundtrack. It doesn't fit. You can't take fast Dick Tracyesque music and put it into Batman and Robin. Especially if you ALLREADY USED IT! It fits in Forever, though.7. The insanely inaccurate rocketship scene. Freeze had FRIGGIN METAL WINGS!! He'd just fall to his death FASTER!! Batman and Robin would have been struggling to breath at their altitude. And IF the skysurfing on metal doors could happen, Robin would have shattered his legs landing on the side of that building. WHY DIDN'T FREEZE JUST FREEZE BATMAN AS A WHOLE INSTEAD OF JUST HIS HANDS?!?!?!? The stpidity would have ceased at that point.8. Comissioner Gordon. Since when did he become a 4-star general? The part where he pulled the heat lever to save himself and his unit was bad. It sure took a long time to freeze their lungs but they thawed *snap* like that! And why did Freeze have a heat switch anyway? Gordon as a horny old man was disturbing.9. Batgirl. I find it ironic that they DIDN'T put nipples on her batsuit! As you already know, Batgirl was supposed to be Gordon's daughter, not Alfred's neice. She was awful. She didn't have an English accent, she had corny lines, she didn't looked fazed when she found out about Batman, and it is absolutely impossible to run in high-heels.Finally 10. George Clooney. As Wayne he was OK, but as Batman? He didn't lower his voice, he sounded very assertive, and he ALWAYS MOVED HIS HEAD WHEN HE SAID SOMETHING!!! Watch the movie again, you'll see. And he had lines written by a rehsus monkey in a slave labor factory in Indonesia. That's my hypothesis. "Face it Freeze you've lost." "Hi Freeze. I'm Batman."Only 2 things I really liked: Alfred's sympathetic role and the subtile showing of the Riddler's and Two-Face's costumes. Face's suit should have been torn, warped, and blood-stained after that fall.This movie is perhaps the worst action movie of all time. Not the worst MOVIE. Home Alone 3 is.Oh yeah, and Bane (was bad). So did those 2 scientists screaming and encouraging the Bat. "You are doing it Batman!" God please."

Oh dear god!there's a statue of a naked man on the streets!

Diego Romero | 02/25/2001

(1 out of 5 stars)

"Ed Wood is alive and working under the name Joel Schumacher! Run for your lives! "Batman and Robin" is the fourth film in a movie series which, in a span of only eight years, has managed to go from good to outstanding to bad to stomach churning retartedness.As the "film" begins, Batman and Robin are summoned to battle a new villain, Mr. Freeze, who has broken into a museum and is attempting to steal a big diamond to power his freeze machine (oh so THAT'S what diamonds are good for). The opening scene manages to rival the opening scene of 1996's "Romeo and Juliet" as the most ridiculous movie sequence ever put to film. Anyway, soon they have to battle other villains as well, Poison Ivy (Thurman) and Bane (Swenson).George Clooney steps into the Batsuit this time and it's now official, Batman has no personality whatsoever. It's not Clooney's fault, he's just going by the script and by Schumacher's (shudder) direction. Batman is known as the Dark Knight, meaning that Batman is supposed to have a dark, brooding personality. Joel Schumacher (vomit) has managed to change all that over the course of two films, as Batman is now a cartoon. He always has a lame pun to spout out or an afterschool special message to deliver.Speaking of puns, that's all Mr. Freeze has to say. He hardly has one line of dialogue which doesn't involve a pun using any of the words: cool, cold, ice, freeze or chill. After the first two, you're sick of it. But, alas, it continues.As with "Batman Forever", there are way too many characters. One villain is all that's needed, not three. Bane is the worst of the three, which is surprising because of what little I know of the comic books, Bane was a major force. Here he's just a masked goon, grunting like Frankenstein's monster. And he's also amazingly easy to defeat, as his weakness are these big tubes coming out of his head. Pull one out, and he's dead. If he walks into a coat rack, he's a goner. Poison Ivy is way too talky, and most of the time she's babbling to herself, which is even more irritating.Gotham City now represents a city which must exist on some other planet other than Earth. The laws of gravity seem to have little effect in this world. Also, it seems that no one really lives in Gotham, except for street criminals, which makes me wonder why in a city protected by Batman would there be the highest crime rate ever in the history of civilization? Batman's not protecting anyone, as there's mass terror constantly going on in the streets. Perhaps it's Joel Schumacher's (gag) views of capital punishment at play here, because in both "Batman Forever" and here, long speeches are given about how it would be wrong to kill the main villain after he's been captured. Instead, to punish them for their crime of attempted mass homicide, villains in Joel Schumacher's (puke) vision of Gotham City get locked up in an asylum, which everyone knows they will break out of in no time to kill more people.To go into further detail about all the ridiculous aspects of this movie would take a review longer than the written screenplay itself. So I'll just mention the worst of the bunch. Now, when Alicia Silverstone becomes Batgirl, she shows up late in the film to help Batman and Robin defeat Poison Ivy. Now, keep in mind that Silverstone has been living in Wayne Manor and chatting with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson for the entire film. Also keep in mind that her Batgirl "disguise" wouldn't fool an infant. Anyway, she arrives, cleans house, and then chats with Batman and Robin... who DO NOT RECOGNIZE HER! She actually has to tell them who she is.But the moment which made me groan the loudest comes at some sort of charity auction where old men are bidding on scantily dressed women on stage. Poison Ivy arrives and puts the audience under some sort of spell. Batman and Robin, who are actually at a party dressed as Batman and Robin, are also captivated by her spell. Soon the audience starts to bid on her, and Batman and Robin join in on the bidding. Batman increases the bid to something like seven million dollars, and then whips out, I kid you not, a Batman credit card, complete with the Batman logo on it as well as "BATMAN" typed out on it. This is absolutely the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Think about this for a moment won't you? What bank honors this card? Did they call Batman to offer him this special card? Only Batman can use this card, so do you think Batman does his own shopping? Perhaps goes to Ace Hardware to pick up some more Batapults and charges them to the Batcard? At that moment it became true, the Batman movie series, which once prided itself from being 180 degrees different in tone and style from the campy 60s TV show, is now just as good as the WORST episodes of that TV series.I do give the film credit for two things. One is the casting of Arnold Schwarzenegger as a villain, but I only give credit to the concept, not the actual performance. Also, as with "Batman Forever", the film looks great. It looks like every penny of the budget was spent on the look of the film. The set design, costumes, and special effects are all top-notch.I'm all for a silly summer movie. Sometimes I like shutting down most of my brain and just enjoying a fun movie. But to consider "Batman and Robin" to be fun, you'd have to completely tear your brain out of your head and throw it away, never to be used again. Please someone stop Joel Schumacher before he vomits into a film cannister again and tries to pass it off as a movie."

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