Subject: I have found a DVD that I think you would enjoy
Genres: Action & Adventure, Horror
Studio: Uni Dist Corp (music) Release Date: 08/19/2008
The Good, The Bad, and the Violent
AMP | Somewhere on Earth | 07/06/2008
(3 out of 5 stars)
"BloodRayne (3 stars out of 5):
It has a good cast and some good production design, but it is very shallow, poorly directed, and kind of awkward. There are a few good moments, but the only real good thing is that it has lots of blood and sex, and would be good to pop in if I feel a sudden impulse to see so much senseless violence.
BloodRayne 2 (1 star out of 5):
Downright boring! There is hardly any violence or sex in it. The new cast is terrible (except for the bad guy, played by Zach Ward), and the movie suffers even worse from having terrible cameramanship. The only redeemable quality in this one are a few memorable lines (which I can't even remember) and a few nifty gunfights. Still, wouldn't reccomend this one much to anybody.
Computer Games (5 stars out of 5):
Downright awesome! They have engaging stories, pretty good characters, and very interactive gameplay. The graphics are smashing. Not to mention, enough bucketloads of blood and loads of partial-nudity to make the experience very wicked.
Overall, the movies are bad, but the first one is good if you're looking for low-quality blood-and-guts action (kind of like a Stewart Gordon movie). But you'd probably want to get this set for the games instead (the movies aren't even faithful adaptations of the games; what a waste of potential!)."
Mediocre games, movies that are so bad that they are traumat
Ummm no | Texas | 12/20/2008
(1 out of 5 stars)
"before reading this, anyone who is should know that i, before playing bloodrayne, and researching it on the internet, neither knew of uwe boll, or that movies were even made from it. if i had stayed ignorant, i would have been much happier.
bloodrayne 1 movie:
pretty women & scenery
story, // probably would have been better if the acting was better.
many of the stunts.
the fight scenes. (they rival the quality of those in ninja turtles 3).
The acting is stilted, and seeing rayne as a carny makes very little sense. she seems weak as a baby fart, and can only fight humans using bloodrage (until later when she magically becomes stronger, but only to low quality human level). rayne crying about drinking blood seems really stupid to me. i understand that she is supposedly sheltered etc, etc.
also would making raynes skin pale really have been so difficult? her complextion in this film indicates that she stays under the sun for long periods of time. basically rayne looks like a beautiful california girl, not a sleek deadly dhampir. also her blades are no longer bracers, but just some police night sticks with blades that she occasionally uses. she's no longer a vicious killing machine, but a lukewarme damsel in distress, who sometimes fights. the girl scouts from the movie dodgeball kicked more butt than this girl. she even says she doesn't thirst for human blood, which no vampire/dhampir should be able to say with a straight face. she even has sex with one of the vampire hunters. which to me is just a cheap ploy. as mentioned on other reviews of the movie (but not this bundle product) the bars clanking during the scene are hilarious and deserve a benny hill sound track to play in the background. even without comparing her to the game rayne, i'd still be disappointed.
while i understand not always using the games original story for a movie may be a good idea, its only a good idea if the idea is actually better than the game. anyone who played the game would probably be offended by the transformation rayne suffers in this sham of moving pictures. the commentarry states that boll some what wanted to make a prequel, but some story elements state otherwise. such as the eye of beliar being received hundreds of years before game.
the mindless gore in this movie is also disappointing.
meatloaf is one of the 2 people in this movie that actually has an almost tolerable performance, but the wig he wears is even worse than the one he wore in rocky horror (which btw is a very good movie).
the women around him are the bigger highlight around the scene, but the cross eyed guy that is seeking refuge there is more distracting than the women's breast. though his eye is much easier to follow than the boring plot.
the plot isn't difficult, just boring. little reason to care about anyone in this movie. even rayne.
kagan doesn't look scary at all. he has the appearance of the nerd of vampires. the kind that gets wedgies, has his lunch pale (blood plasma) taken, glasses stomped upon, and cello smashed.
the directors commentary is slightly more interesting than the movie. but not by much. there is more energy in the director commentary between the actors and boll than the actors amongst themselves in the film. what was most unnerving, was that the actors actually seemed to think they did a great job.
not much else to say than that this movie in insidiously boring. installation of the game that came with this pack was more entertaining than watching this.
this movie left a brown stain in my dvd player.
bloodrayne 1 game:
decent voice acting,
mildy interesting storyline.
this gives me another reason to use my p990 pad (would rather use my mouse.)
the characters are well designed (graphically)
there is a joke about an almost prize winning bull in it. (i can now understand the plights of farmer's and their need to win blue ribbons)
while level != complete;
if level = midway
make player find battery/key
make player fight a sub boss.
level = 1 + tocomplete.
if ever stand still or change area, respawn all enemies in previous area.
//makes backtracking annoying and is just filler.
the blade targeting system is nonexistent. the guns go dry rather quickly, and are best saved for special enemies and bosses. luckily, the guns can be poorly aimed, and the game has aimbot(auto targeting) for them otherwise. unfortunately that also means tougher to lead shots. so fast moving enemies can nullify guns.
the jumping system in this is horrible. i wish mario ran a jumping training camp. (oddly enough she acts like mario in 2nd game). usually the jumps are alright, until the temple levels. then, at least for me, i felt like physically going in and wiping the game from the drive.
i loved the stereotypical plot of thule (occultist nazis) finding artifacts that give them super powers. not like that hasn't been over used as a premise.
makes me wonder if hellboy got the idea for that german guy with the blades from bloodrayne. probably not.
also this and bloodrayne 2 have an annoying habit of asking about video settings.
as if remembering them is not enough. the good thing about it is, that if i didnt really mean to execute the program, i can just close that window.
another big problem is that the cutscenes spawn another window. which sometimes causes the game to cycle to desktop. this occurs in both games. really annoying, and can occasionally crash the game.
basically this game has low-mediocre gameplay, almost no replay value, though it is likable (somewhat). rayne is a very intriguing character.
bloodrayne 2 movie.
MOMMY BAD TOUCH! *weeps harshly*. please make the pain stop. 95 minutes of shame and suffering. this movie is basically a digital version of a dementor's kiss (a dementor is a harry potter creature).
the girl from silent hill movie (which also sucked badly) is unfortunately back in this. she wasn't very good in silent hill, but does alright in this. she plays scared little girl well. i feel sorry for her to have those two blots in her life. i hope she doesn't become like britany spears, the olsen twins, or the children from different strokes.
this time there is even a black guy in it (one was in first movie, but barely noticeable). haven't my people suffered enough? this is one movie where we sure as hell don't need to be a token character.
the fight scenes still are terrible. they warrant BAAAM! ZOOM! KAPAOWWWWY! to be added to the hits. would have been more fun.
billie doesn't look tough or interesting. his acting is terrible. actually all of it is. the trauma of reliving this while typing this is almost overwhelming.
his accent is horrible. basically he looks like a drag queen in cosplay (playing dressup). his bela lugosi impression sucks too. finally the way he kept stroking those children was a little uncomfortable. i kept expecting him to offer them candy to get into his van. i've got mars bars and a playstation in here, bulah buluah *hiss*
raynes character is even more unbelievable than the first. tolerates daylight just fine, apparently water immunity lasts from last movie (though i think allergies to water is silly anyhow). she is just as weak as in the first movie, but with mo betta diction.
i am still wondering why does the camera keep swaying like its unsecured on the rough seas. also many specific shots suck in this movie. such as the all important show down where raynes posse is about to be killed. good idea, keep focusing on the bad teeth, and the all important final cracker eating shot.
there was one decently done scene. a scene where rayne walks into a room, and children are set up in a trap about to be hanged by a big stone and rope. she has to hold on to the rope to save them. though one boy dies. a real omg now that is messed up reaction is warranted there, which is the only other emotion than disgust that was invoked by this movie. though, i ask myself, where the hell did he get that huge stone. the children's acting in this scene was convincing.
the final monologue from billy and the incredibly lame fight scene really did put the white cap on this steaming pile of bird... well anyway.
i think this movie actually outdoes alfie (with jude law) as being the worst movie ever done. even about schmidt wasn't this bad. about schmidt was just boring, so was alfie, but this is legitimately bad. thats it i'm done, i can't stand thinking about this movie any longer. colossal failure of a painful magnitude. i just want to move on with my life. i've had enough trauma already from the first.
only the children and the mayor were enjoyable in this movie. (the mayor only because he has a pleasant voice).
bloodrayne 2 game:
mediocre. it has its own problems. namely the camera, and the near endless supply of piggies to be butchered. it has a fairly vast amount of sexual prowess. i'd expect some gamers would likely find something else to play with while in game. rayne jiggles lewdly, and panty shots that successfully fills any fanservice. but other than that, this game hasn't much else to offer.
the good points are that rayne is a likable character, we see more of her history, more moves, better combat system, and harpoon is better.
the bad points are, the harpoon still sucks. many will disagree, but i find being required to toss people annoying. sometimes they go the direction pressed, sometimes not (have to press direction she's facing, not camera).
but what annoys me the most is that this HUGE chunk of metal is being thrown into their chest, and people get up from it. vampires/dhampirs i'd think probably could recover quickly, but humans? can harpoon them near infinite times without a problem (rarely does the harpoon kill them). although tacky i prefer to have a modification that could be added/activated that causes her to say one liners like scorpion from mortal kombat.
the acrobats, while a good addition, are done badly. the controls arent the main problem, but the camera control is.
the combos, while nice, aren't exactly needed, or easy to do. this game is mostly just stay behind the opponent, and mash buttons.
to me i mildly enjoyed it. mostly because of the better graphics, bloodraynes model is exquisite, and extra ways to kick butt. but the over use of being forced to use the harpoon, horrible camera, lack of manual targeting hampers its desirability.
overall for all products.
the movies suck hard enough to warrant buying games separately. or not at all. for people who liked blood rayne games, they'll appreciate the games bundle. would love if these games were released on good old games' website for like 5-6$. then i wouldn't literally have to wash the stink off them.
only worth buying if wanting the games. burn the movies. shred them, dispose of them. or better yet, dont buy the bundle pack or movies at all. put in the extra dollar and get the games individually. i am will not use the movies as coasters as i'm inclined to think that they will make any drink on them taste bad. or worse, trigger flashbacks and relive the horror.