Subject: I have found a DVD that I think you would enjoy
|Ghost House Underground Eight Film Collection|
Actors: Daniela Virgilio, Daniele Grassetti, Gennaro Diana, Santa De Santis, David Pietroni
Directors: Dave Payne, Gabriele Albanesi, Gregg Bishop, Igor Shavlak, Martin Barnewitz
Genres: Comedy, Horror, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Mystery & Suspense
This spine-jangling and tooth rattling collection contains eight underground horror films. Included for your enjoyment are the films Brotherhood Of Blood, Dark Floors, Room 205, The Substitute, Trackmen, Last House In The ... more »
You can get all eight of these films or just pick and choose
Lawrance M. Bernabo | The Zenith City, Duluth, Minnesota | 10/31/2008
(3 out of 5 stars)
"Two years ago I went and caught the original After Dark Horrorfest in the theater. The bad news last year was that Horrorfest did not make it to the Zenith City and this fall the bad news is that the next edition has been postponed until January because as of this month are are only 5 and not 8 films 2 die 4. So, in order to ease our pain and line their pockets, not necessarily in that order, Lionsgate has released the Ghost House Underground collection of eight horror films this October. Here are the films, presented in the order I saw them because the order always seems to matter to the ranks and ratings:
"No Man's Land: The Rise of Reeker": This is actual both a prequel and a sequel to an earlier film about the title character. The opening flashback is interesting enough, but this is a kitchen sink horror film where trying to make sense of it all is not worth the bother. Several recognizable faces in the crowd, but like "Crazy Eights," that hardly matters in the final analysis. (Ranked #6, Rating 2.4).
"Brotherhood of Blood" : Okay, so there are these vampire hunters and they capture a vampire, defang him, and try to talk him to death so that they can go rescue one of the other vampire hunters. This film cuts back and forth between the inquisition and the rescue mission. This is the movie with the big names--Ken Foree and Sid Haig from "The Devil's Rejects"--but they add nothing to the mix. Some interesting ideas on vampires, but there are the least cinematic part of the movie (Ranked #7, Rating 2.2).
"The Substitute": An alien comes to Earth to find out about love and takes the form of a strapping blonde substitute teacher, so it is up to a sixth grade class of Danish school kids to stop her. The best badly dubbed movie I have seen in many years, appropriately tongue-in-cheek, and with some decent special effects. The trailer gave me no indication that this movie was going to be this much fun (Ranked #2, Rating 4.0).
"Trackman": A group of bank robbers are holed up in abandoned tunnels with a couple of hostages and the title character, who collects eyeballs. This Russian film is supposedly their first slasher movie, which explains why it is a basic by the numbers type of the slasher genre. The result is technically competent, which is good, but nothing special, which is not so much so (Ranked #4, Rating 2.7).
"Dance of the Dead": Far and away the best film of the bunch to such an extent that you wonder how it ended up with the rest of these films, especially given that five of the eight are from Europe and four of them dubbed. Zombies are headed for the prom at the high school and the geeks have to stop them in this solid zombie comedy. That is all you need to know. If you liked "Shaun of the Dead" and/or "Dead and Breakfast, " then this one should be right up your alley (Ranked #1, Rating 4.5).
"The Last House in the Woods": Basic blood and gore on a par with the exploitation films of the 1960s, this inartistic Italian movie begs the question as to why anybody needs to go back and make another movie like that today. There is probably more blood in this one than the other seven put together, if that is what you want in a horror film (Ranked #8, Rating 2.1)
"Room 205": A woman moves into a college dorm room in which an earlier occupant died a nasty death, and now the angry ghost is after her and her dormmates. Another (dubbed) Danish horror film, this is the film with artistic pretentions as the motif of glass and mirrors matters to both the style and the substance of the film, which help to combat its Scandinavian sedateness (Ranked #3, Rating 2.8).
"Dark Floors": A young autistic girl is visiting a hospital for tests and when her dad tries to take her out . This film features the Finnish heavy metal band Lordi as the monsters. If you know about the band, who perform in monster costumes, then when they show up you will laugh. I had no clue, so I was able to take this one at face value, and it ends up in the middle. Watch Lordi's music videos first, and this one drops to the bottom (Ranked #5, Rating 2.5).
So, doing the math without decimals that is three 2's, three 3's, one 4 and one 5, which works out to an average of 3.0 on the nose. But that number is skewed because only two of the eight movies are rated equal to or greater than 3. Work out the average using the decimal numbers and it is 2.9, so I have to post a rating of three. As they say there are lies, damned lies, and statistics. My recommendation would just be to get the two best films here, "Dance of the Dead" and "The Substitute," and rent the rest for a look-see if you are compelled to actually watch everything in the set. When the two best movies in a series of horror films end up being the two funniest, and both are intentionally trying to be funny, that is not a good sign.
Avoid the box set, just get the 2 or 3 worth viewing.
4-Legged Defender | ATL. GA. | 10/11/2009
(2 out of 5 stars)
"This years set is astonishingly bad - read some of the other reviews to confirm. 'Dance of the Dead' is probably the best of all, but it`s somewhat juvenile, predictable and the characters are all cliched. Surprisingly,and in spite of this, it`s a lot of fun, but not real horror at all. It`s for fans of 'Shaun of the Dead', but I mean this in a positive way. 'The Substitute' was my personal favorite (watch it in its original language please - read below), and I was surprised to find this out, seeing as when I purchased the box I had no real interest in it. It`s extremely well done, and the cast of child actors are exceptional. A real winner on all counts. Lastly, and I know I`m gonna get s**t for saying this, but I also enjoyed 'Last House in the Woods', BECAUSE I DIDN`T WATCH THE STUPIDLY DUBBED ENGLISH VERSION!!! Folks, if you`re gonna watch a foreign film and you graduated from 8th grade, do yourself a favor and watch these films IN THE LANGUAGE THEY WERE MADE TO BE SEEN AND HEARD IN!!! All dubbed films cheapen the viewing experience immensely, so if you`re not going to make the proper effort, don`t bother to watch the film! As for the remaining 5 films, I thought they all reeked to high-hell, especially 'Rise of the Reeker'- the original was ridiculously foul, and I have nothing good to say about any of the rest. Be afraid, be very afraid, of spending your hard-earned dough on these clunkers."
I'm Still Looking For The "Dark" Part...
Mike Schorn | APO, AE United States | 11/14/2008
(2 out of 5 stars)
"I've been a fan of Lordi for six years now, meaning that I was listening to their music long before they won Eurovision and gained international exposure. Thus far, I have loved everything the band has done, from their changing costumes and lineup to their 2004 short film, "The Kin". Thus, I was excited when the band first announced their plans to make a full-length horror movie. It made sense: of all the bands in the world, which would be better suited to make a movie about monsters than those who regularly dresses up as monsters? The film originally premiered in February 2008; I waited ten months to see the movie for myself in the privacy of my home. This proved a wise decision, as it turned out, for had I been in a theater, I have no doubt that the monsters themselves would have come down and told me to stifle my groans of disappointment.
The story: Sarah (Skye Bennett, Against the Dark) is a little girl suffering from an unknown mental illness. When her father (Noah Huntley, 28 Days Later) attempts to remove her from the hospital, they and a group of strangers comprised of a benevolent nurse (Dominique McElligot, "On Home Ground"), a brave security guard (Leon Herbert, "The Paradise Club"), a paranoid commuter (William Hope, Aliens), and a disturbed homeless man (Ronald Pickup, "Waters of the Moon") find themselves trapped in the building as it undergoes a dark transformation...and becomes filled with bloodthirsty monsters.
I tried approaching this movie in several different ways. Firstly, as a showcase for the band and their onstage personas; this didn't work, since the monsters have disappointingly little screentime. Secondly, as an '80s-style splatter film (since Lordi draw much of their influences from that period); didn't work either, since there's very little blood and gore...and again, few monster moments. Finally, I tried to watch it as a movie that intentionally confused the audience, but alas, this wasn't very satisfying either since the film offers absolutely no compensation after leaving the audience in the metaphorical dark for so long concerning the twists, turns, and other weirdo things going on in the plot. I'm left to believe that the filmmakers themselves lost track of what kind of story they were trying to tell, since the film is so convoluted and so stingy in giving up hints that would explain what's happening that it's easy to assume that nobody had a suitable explanation to begin with. It's been pointed out before, and I'll reinforce the complaint: there is no explanation as to why the hospital transformed, what the monsters are doing there, or what Sarah's condition is.
Some aspects of "The Kin" are present - namely the manipulating of time and space and the horror of life after death, but they only make the film's plot a bigger mystery never to be solved.
Alas, even if you're counting on the fear of the unknown to tide you over, the film isn't very scary. Reliance on cheap jolt scares are a death knell, seeing as there's nothing very frightening about slow-motion shots of windows and walls exploding. The monsters themselves also look very much out of place: with the exception of Awa and Lordi, their costumes don't even fit into the set, and will have viewers who are unfamiliar with the band wondering if Kita's armor, OX's nose ring, or Amen's being a mummy have anything to do with the solution to the plot. The acting also needs help: even though they're playing cardboard characters you've seen in a thousand other horror movies, Hope, Herbert, and Pickup especially need to spend a few lessons with their acting coaches...and Skye Bennett will start annoying viewers before she arouses sympathy.
I'm not sure if I can accurately express how disappointed I am in this movie. True, maybe I was foolish to expect anything great from a film made about a rock band, but for all that seems to have gone into its production, you'd think that they could have done just a bit better. Director Pete Riski should've known that he was not shooting a music video and Mr. Lordi should've known that fans were expecting more from him and his group than cameos and a poorly-composed plot. I'm afraid that the only folks who'll be interested in this film are fans of the band...but then again, like me, they too will be struggling to stay awake an hour in."
A ghost story minus the scares
N. Durham | Philadelphia, PA | 11/08/2008
(2 out of 5 stars)
"Along with The Substitute, Room 205 is a Danish import carrying the Ghost House Underground banner. Unlike The Substitute though, Room 205 is a tedious bore that fails to deliver, and ends up being a ghost story minus the scares. The gorgeous Neel Rønholt (who is a dead ringer for erotic scream queen Erin Brown, AKA Misty Mundae) stars as a newly moved in college student that soon learns the last inhabitant of her dorm room met a tragic and grisly demise. Her spirit is restless, and it isn't long before her mates start getting picked off one by one. It's nothing we haven't seen or heard before, but Room 205 at least starts out promising before getting caught up in mellowdrama. Adding insult to injury is the fact that Room 205 is just plain boring for almost 2/3's of its running time. Though it does get better during the last third of the film, Room 205 still ends up being a mostly boring disappointment. Still, you could always do much worse horror wise, and Room 205 is worth a look for ghost story fans, just don't expect too much out of it."