Search - Lady Ninja on DVD

Ninja women attack!

P. A Clark | San Jose, CA USA | 11/14/2003

(3 out of 5 stars)

"I'd like to start by saying that Lady Ninja, also known as Kunoichi, was a decent film for it's genre.This film is actually based on a series of Ninja stories from Japan and is way down on the list in the order. However it is it's own film and can be viewed as an individual story. The story centers around 7 Kunoichi (female ninja in Japanese) who under the supervision of Jyubei Yagyuu (a samurai)try to get revenge for their slain buddist nun sisters. The nuns are ruthlessly killed by a Japanese Lord who enjoys the company of women a little too much. In fact he has a habbit of kiddnapping brides on their wedding nights and keeping them for his own little private harem. Throughout the film the 7 ninja battle against the Lords Henchmen. Some of whom have magical capabilities. (such as pulling eyes out which become one eyed assasins and another who can poison you by touching you) The Kunoichi also have some tricks up their sleves which the girls learn to unlock during the film. There are several confrontations throughout the film where the ninjas kill the henchmen one by one. Also, some of the girls don't make it to the end. I won't say anymore, so as not to spoil it for you.The lead ninja is played by Yuko Moriyama. She is the one who really shines in this film with her strong screen presence and solid performace. The film does offer some B movie special effects which come across well in the film, and a cartoonish ammount of gore. I will point out however, that this is in NO way a child's film. The situations and violence would not be appropriate for kids. Also, a couple of the ninja women use strange attacks (one with her breasts and another with her hind end) The action is fast and uses a lot of wire work. Not many grounded swordplay or martial arts sequences though. The film has a very fantstical aire about it, more like Jet Li's Legend of the Swordsmen or Swordsmen II.The release company on this film is Tokyo Shock, and they offer both the original Japanese language track, and an English dubbed track. (which is pretty much garbage) Tokyo Shock has a ways to go in their dubbing department. Other features include some interviews with cast and crew in Japanese (subtitled in English) and the film trailer. This film may not be in everyone's taste, so if you're a Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon fan, this may be a littel over the top for you. However, it does have some nice cinematography, some nice surprises in the special effects department, and lots of cute ninja girls running around so it got a 3 in my book. This is definately a rent it before you buy it film. I did buy it before renting, and plan to watch it occasionally, but it's not going to be frequently played in my DVD player. It's not that kind of film."

Nothing much to write about

David C. Addison | 01/17/2004

(1 out of 5 stars)

"Kunoichi: Lady Ninja was a big letdown for me. There are very few martial arts used in this production, and none from the ladies. The effects are poorly and cheaply done. It just all-around [is bad], really. Please do not waste your money on this disk."

Uhhh.....

David Romano | Lancaster, PA United States | 03/22/2005

(2 out of 5 stars)

"Ok, where should I begin?

This isn't meant to be a CTHD, Hero, or HoFD. It's an inexpensive and guilty pleasure. That's about it. Everything about this film is over the top. And I suspect it's meant to be.

The initial plot was actually pretty good. Buddhist nuns seeking revenge. OK, I can deal. They become ninjas. Cool.

The problem is that this was a bad combo of anime and live-action. The shout out their attacks like in Sailor Moon. And said attacks needed some better work. As it is, it looks like a 20 year old geek came up with them:

Ninja Magic Red Phoenix: she learns it while making love
Ninja Magic Nipple Shockwave: Lightning comes from her nipples (the CGI even looks like Sailor Mars' "Burning Mandala"!!!)
Ninja Magic Hair Storm: was better in "Bride with White Hair"
Ninja Magic Returning Echo: Absorbs energy between her legs and spits it back out.
Ninja Magic Hatching Corpse: two die, and get their final energy attack.
The final attack is one absorbs all the "ninja essences" of her comrades and creates a sword. Wow.

This was bad hentai. I gave it two stars for the potential. But the effects were horrid, the action was cartoonish at best (and bad cartoons at that!), and overall I'm glad I didn't pay to see this... I will say that the bloodshed and spurts certainly inspired Tarantino's "Kill Bill" Now I know why I prefer Chinese cinema over Japanese cinema..."

Either More Chopping or Less Flopping

David C. Addison | 05/20/2005

(1 out of 5 stars)

"I tried to explain the premise to this movie (revengeful nuns train to be ninjas at Hogwarts School of Karate), and all of my friends thought I was practicing pitching ridiculous movies to soften up execs for the real movie ideas. I was struck by the absurdity, the juxtaposition of near contstant female bare chests with male blood squirts. If you were auditioning for this film, they would ask you to show your boobies (if you were a girl) or show your most graphic death face (for dudes). What I don't get is why add so much naked girls? They were so abundant that the women who didn't undress looked out of place! The political intrigue and ninja fighting would have been enough to carry this film, without the bouncy bits.

And the magical powers they all got! Hoo boy, what a mess! I will note that the less attractive girls had to do the stupidest ninja naked magic, like they were willing to do anything for a bigger role, unlike the really pretty girls who might show a little chest, but that's all.

Worse, the movie was made in 2000!! Do you know how hard it was to make such a crappy ninja movie in 2000?! It was nearly impossible, but this one combines ludicrous plot lines (the shogunate will fall if the evil twin of a master Buddhist priest dies, who are in symbiosis with each other), useless nudity (the evil lord captures youg brides to turn them into sex slaves...in his dungeon...what, no clean rooms in the house?!), inexplicable magical ninja powers (peep the girl who absorbs power bolts into her funny parts and then barfs them back at the enemy)and some of the worst over-acting ever filmed in ANY language (the evil lord literally screams his way throught the movie: he must have been paid based on the decibel level)! Hats off to the director and his favorite whiskey, 'cause nobody wrote this thing sober!

The only reason to watch this movie is to be able to lie to your friends about how great it is, and get them to buy it: no reason for us to be the only knuckleheads who watched this drivel. I can only hope that there will be a sequel!!"