Everything That Is Bad About Direct-To-Video Movies, All At
Andrew Estes | Maine | 12/27/2006
(1 out of 5 stars)
"When viewing a low-budget, straight-to-video horror flick, one should know not to expect much. But when a movie is packaged in such a deceiving way, with a plot summary that hints at a possibly intriguing story, it's easy to be fooled. You always want to give the underdog a chance, to discover a gem that was created by the sweat and blood of a hard-working filmmaker and his miniscule crew. "Machined" is that low-budget, straight-to-video, shot on a shoe-string budget movie, but without all of the glories of high quality independent film-making.
The main problem with "Machined" is that it is the first movie I have ever seen where the only plot you get is on the back of the DVD case. Had I not read this little summary, I wouldn't know that we were watching a movie about a guy named Motor Man Dan who collects body parts and performs experimental surgery in his garage to create his own monster. All the movie tells us is that we are following an overly hairy, overweight fellow who likes to watch people being killed by his robot that he somehow composed from an actual human being. Nevermind that we never get the slightest insight as to how "Dan" pulls it off, especially as he doesn't seem to be the smartest and most stable mechanic. See, there are much bigger improbabilities to behold. Such as two teenagers in a dark room who don't notice a maniac with freakin' lights on his head sneaking up behind them. Nor are they suspicious of a creepy mechanic who keeps twitching and refuses to wear a shirt. "Machined" carries little to no suspense. Not only did I not care about any of the characters, but I did not feel a single ounce of tension or fear when they were slaughtered, albeit, very clumsily.
You don't need money to create a good story, and that is the biggest problem with this movie. The creator, Craig McMahon didn't need to spend a single red cent on a single drop of blood. Nor did he need to try to give our killer a cool look. None of it matters in a good horror movie. All McMahon had to do was deliver us characters that had development behind them and whom we could actually relate to. Also, it wouldn't have hurt to have cast people who can actually act. At the very least, he could have written a story that makes sense and doesn't suffer from A.D.D. The bottom line with "Machined" is that it was a good idea gone wrong. The premise is interesting enough, but that's about it. You'll get more entertainment by looking at the DVD case than watching the actual movie."
So boring, I was snoring
ZombieLuv | NY | 03/19/2008
(1 out of 5 stars)
"OMG, this movie stinks. It is low grade quality, the acting is so bad, and the sight of the fat man with the hair all over his back is a little much to take for over an hour straight. It seemed to take place in someone's garage through the entire film. It had VERY LITTLE GORE and barely any action. I was disappointed to say the least. Do not pay 12.99 for this, it's not worth 12 cents. ZZZZZ"
Film Review "Machined"
James W. Pixley | Corona, CA United States | 06/08/2009
(2 out of 5 stars)
"Whatever I was expecting in this movie I just didn't get. I have tried, unsuccessfully, 3 times to watch it. The film just can NOT keep my interest, and it left me "flat." Having NOT seen it all the way through, I might be "fair" in this review, but...... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ......."