Subject: I have found a DVD that I think you would enjoy
Actors: Christopher Lambert, Terence Stamp, Joss Ackland, John Turturro, Richard Bauer
Director: Michael Cimino
Genres: Action & Adventure, Drama, Mystery & Suspense
Studio: Lions Gate Home Ent. Release Date: 04/20/2004
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You don't hate me, you hate not being me. But if you were bo
StrayDog | London United Kingdom | 08/18/2008
(1 out of 5 stars)
"No joke, this is two hours of amateurish stuff, which cannot really be called cinema without upsetting someone up there.
I just went back to see some of the scenes of this movie again because they are so ridiculous I wanted to have another go!
So, let's start in the right order (warning, contains some spoilers, but you're not really going to watch this movie, are you?):
- The fact that the movie was entirely in English should have given it away, very funny to hear would-be sicilians talking to each other in English.
- Past that, we encounter the limping professor. An attempt to add a sinister touch to an otherwise meaningless character. Very amateurish.
- Then came signs and inscriptions throughout the movie, all in English (things like Sicilian Region, Minister of Law and Justice). Made up stuff not corresponding to reality.
- Then the absurd way in which most of the actors talk, in English but very slowly, which makes their acting ridiculous. I guess another attempt to make the movie sound more 'Sicilian'...
- Then the plot, disjointed and difficult to follow. Considering that the script writers had three stories to copy from (the original Salvatore Giuliano movie, the book itself and the true story of Salvatore Giuliano) one would have expected more.
- Then comes the funny stuff, some of the scenes are just absurd! My favourite is the dancing of the Duchess with the Don, particularly the last bit, when she dances around him rolling her arms!
And the 'rape', when right in the middle of a robbery, Giuliano ends up in the room with the Duchess and whilst they are there she rapes him! Couldn't avoid feeling sorry for Giuliano's mates in the other room waiting with the goods just robbed!
Also, to add to the overall madness, Giuliano's girlfriend addresses him by surname, rather than by his first name Salvatore (see the scene when the barber gets shot).
- Finally, some of the dialogs, which I took the trouble of transcribing for your enjoyment.
Scene 1 - Giuliano decides to kidnap the Prince and take him to the mountains. He sends his mate to get him:
KIDNAPPER: Your excellency, Salvatore Giuliano respectfully requests your company for a visit to his mountains.
PRINCE: May I take my umbrella?
KIDNAPPER: Of course excellency, but when we go outside don't try and run.
PRINCE: I don't run, not since school, I have asthma.
KIDNAPPER (referring to music being played by the Prince): It's very beautiful.
PRINCE: Yeees [with really funny accent]. Scarlatti. He was born near here. He had asthma too, I think.
I don't suppose it's raining?
KIDNAPPER: No excellency.
Later in the mountains, here is an extract from the dialogue, it's the Prince speaking:
"You don't hate me, you hate not being me. But if you were born me you would have never been you, so you could take my money, my life, but you could never be me."
- To top it all up, the movie ends with the silhouette of Giuliano, on his horse, with an unrealistically blown up sun setting in the background. (maybe some science fiction effect thrown in for good measure?, or perhaps another attempt to make the movie more 'Sicilian' by showing how big the sun is in Sicily?)
Jokes apart, it's not the size of the sun that tops it all up, it's the fact that Giuliano died a few scenes earlier and from the horse on top of the hill he is watching his own funeral...
Warning: although it's not exactly boring (just poor), it goes over the two hours mark.
Watch it for a laugh, or for pure escapism..."