Search - Uncut on DVD

"Big" Deal!

James Morris | Jackson Heights, NY United States | 01/04/2007

(2 out of 5 stars)

"The most difficult part of reviewing this film is admitting that I purchased it, followed by the admission that I actually sat through it without ejecting the disc and tossing it straight in the garbage.

The plot is simple. An over-sexed, boring, narcissistic, male chauvinist named Francesco "Ciccio" Morelli has fractured his pelvis. (Note #1 to the producers and screenwriter: a pelvic fracture is extremely serious, painful and potentially life threatening. It is normally difficult for a man with a pelvic fracture to move at all, let alone have an endless succession of naked women engage in sexual coitus with him while seated in his lap).

In order to monitor his home convalescence, Ciccio's doctors have placed a video camera at the foot of his bed. Through this camera, which is continuously trained on his [...], the audience experiences the limited visuals offered by this film. We never see the lead actor's face until the very end, and then, only in a long shot. We do get brief glimpses of the faces of two female characters who stop by to have oral sex with him (Note #2 to the producers and screenwriter: a man with a fractured pelvis is generally unable to engage in any sexual congress whatever, and is usually in too much pain to even think about sex, let alone desire or engage in it every five or ten minutes, as the lead character in this film does).

The plot revolves around the fact that Ciccio sustained his injury while having an argument with his girlfriend. He fell on some rocks on the beach, and passed out; his girlfriend has not been heard from since. The police, who are among the dozen or so visitors he has during the 76 minutes of "real time" in which the film takes place, have assumed that he has murdered her, and they arrive to question him, not once, not twice, but three times during the proceedings (none of his interrogators, the main one being female, have sex with him; yet they keep coming back). One of the most absurd aspects of the plot was that, throughout his interrogation, Ciccio seems completely unconcerned with the disappearance of his girlfriend, and equally unconcerned about being the center of suspicion by the police investigating her fate. Instead, he spends 100% of his time either wooing women on the phone and trying to get them to come over, or contemplating sex while scrutinizing his phone book, or trying to get an endless succession of female visitors into bed with him. The result is surreal, and not very amusing.

In fact, it is difficult to pinpoint the most unsatisfying aspect of this film. The pace is boring and surprisingly un-erotic. The dialogue is ridiculous, the characters unappealing and the proceedings decidedly unfunny.

To make matters worse, I made the mistake of watching the film with the English dubbing turned on, instead of letting it run in the original Italian. Since I am slightly hard of hearing, I also had the subtitles on, as I usually do. The actors who read the English script were so bad that the words they were reading seemed to have almost no correlation to the action at all, while the English script was so badly written that the spoken words failed to match the subtitles in most places.

The gimmick, of course, is that the "comedy" is an excuse for us to stare at what is supposed to be a particularly attractive penis for 76 minutes. This was one of the biggest (if I can use that word) disappointments to me - I was vastly unimpressed.

Don't bother."

Not a Lot to Say

Amos Lassen | Little Rock, Arkansas | 12/30/2006

(3 out of 5 stars)

""UNCUT"

Not a Lot to Say


Amos Lassen and Cinema Pride

I had been warned that I would be bored to death by the film "Uncut" (Strand Releasing) but I actually found it very interesting. It can be interesting spending over an hour looking at a man's uncut penis and that is what you get in "Uncut". Short on plot, short on action, long in penis size, this is quite an interesting novelty film.
Recuperating from a bad fall as the result of a tryst gone awry, we focus on a man laying in bed with a fractured hip and his leg in a brace. Since he can't get around, he opens his address book and tries to persuade the women he has known to come over and have sex with him. Doctors mounted a camera on the foot of his bed so they can monitor him and it is focused on his groin area. His face is hidden from us and the only part of him that we se is his pelvic area.
What ensues is a comedy and a funny one at that as we become acquainted better and better with the man's uncut penis. He does tricks with it, he pampers it, and he plays with it. His tricks come in and they play with it. And that is basically what this movie is about.
Everything is fine in the movie but it does get tiring. It would probably get even more tiring if that was no dialog. But the dialog is clever, the situation a hoot. And I bet the guy's penis is longer than this review.
"

Don't bother

Jaylayson | Columbus, OH United States | 12/26/2006

(1 out of 5 stars)

"This "Movie" drug on and on. Yes the title character looks great, but so not worth the time it took to watch the DVD. Maybe if I had put the TV on mite or watched it in Italian with subtitles off it would have been more entertaining."