Search - Alien Lockdown on DVD

It's just so bad!

The Bus | NC, United States | 03/07/2005

(1 out of 5 stars)

"It's just so bad!

Since I'm the first review, I'll spend a little more time summarizing the movie, rather just saying how bad it is. The movie explains that a long time ago, a meteor crashed into earth, and in the center of the crater was a green stone. Then throughout the centuries, men fought for possession of the stone because they believed that whoever carried it would have an invincible army, and they were right. It was as if the stone had some sort of magical power. Anyways, over time the stone disappeared, until now. Fast forward to today. The stone is unearthed in an archeological dig in some desert someplace and then taken to a secret underground lab someplace where it is unveiled that they have genetically engineered some sort of super creature. Anyways, the creature gets out, kills everybody, and the lab is locked down, hence the catchy title. An assault team is sent in to find out what happened, and they discover a couple of survivors and piece together that they created this beast as a weapon and now it's on the loose. Sounds pretty cool. Yeah, that's what I though after seeing the trailer. WRONG ALL WRONG!

The movie is completely bad. There's just no way to explain it any better. It had all the elements to be a cool story. I mean, after all, since it pretty much just copied cool parts from a hundred other stories, it should have been cool. But it wasn't. Not one of the characters is likeable, so you could care less as they are picked off one by one. It should also bother anybody watching this that the "creature" is VERY similar to the alien, but with the face from the predator. But to say this was an alien-predator rip-ff would still give it more credit than is deserved. The actors are all cold and un-emotional. The story is FILLED to the brim with inconsistencies. Does the stone have magical powers? If they used the code on the stone for the creatures DNA, then why or how did the doctor infuse his DNA into the creatures? And why did the one creature ignore him and not kill him, but then the other ones actually attack him? Didn't the helicopter pilots wonder why their boss didn't come back? Of course, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but trust me, these are just a few pretty big details that are messed up.

I knew this movie wouldn't be great going into it, but I thought it would at least slightly entertaining. WRONG ALL WRONG :) Stay away from this one. Hope this helps.

I will say this one positive thing. I honestly gave this movie 1 star. Usually when I put 1 star, the movie is really worth zero stars or less, but amazon won't allow that. This movie is a genuine 1 star flick."

You Silly Mad Military Scientists!

Ghoulie Guru | 07/08/2005

(2 out of 5 stars)

"Oh, you silly Mad Military Scientists... when will you ever learn? How many experiments have to go awry? Why do you continue to use genetic manipulation and MavGyver technology to build creatures that are meant to be the new "Ultimate Weapon" ?

Going by movies like this one, you'd think that somehow a rampant lizard-ape- thing would be more effective than a nuclear bomb. But these silly Mad Military Scientists can't ever seem to even keep their eye on these creatures long enough to unleash them on the enemy. Their creations invariably escape and start running around, and the Silly Mad Military Scientists watch with a mixture of horror and admiration as their reptilian problem child rips through battalions of screaming army folks.

The latest entry in the Saga of the Silly Mad Military Scientists:

ALIEN LOCKDOWN!

So, the Mad Scientist in this one is played by John Savage, who meanders through the movie with a confused look on his face, as if he's wondering where Jessica Alba went to and why his agent agreed to let him do this NuImage movie. He's building some kind of alligator-alien-guy and... get ready for the spoiler.... it escapes!

Enter the screaming soldiers! Yay!

These guys rush into the fray as if they've never seen a movie about a genetic experiment gone bad! With so much gusto! They do a lot of military-style chatter that was probably meant to make the movie feel "gritty" or "real". There are also a couple of heartwarming moments where the soldiers take time out from the battle to tell each other about their more human side. It's supposed to make you care more about them, I think. I was reminded of Phoebe Cates in Gremlins when she starts talking about how her dad got stuck in the chimney on Christmas Eve and died. Honestly, I don't understand why people in these movies decide to start divulging their deepest, darkest secrets at the worst possible moment. Anyway, so these screaming soldiers take time from being killed to discuss their issues with each other.

John Savage continues to admire his creation, and he seems to be trying to channel the Brad Dourif character from Alien: Resurrection. In fact, this movie is a weird kind of potpourri of all the Alien movies rolled into one. Eventually, all the little screaming soldiers get picked off, leaving a lone female. Hmmm. I wonder where the writers got that one?

And speaking of writers, I saw that it took the brain power of three people just to come up with the story! And then there were another two who wrote the script! It's hard to believe that it took five people to come up with this derivative pile of monkey poop. It is nothing more than the most recent entry into a very tired sub-genre of the Horror/Science Fiction pantheon. Which leaves me asking the question I started with, you silly Mad Military Scientists, when will you ever learn? Unfortunately, I think the answer is, "Not as long as people like you continue to watch movies about us." Maybe it's time we retired the scientists... what do you all think?"