Vanessa V.'s Reviews

It comes from the same mordant tradition as the best serial killer films but Antibodies is far more than a German Silence of the Lambs. The cat-and-mouse mind games take place between an earnest, righteous small town cop and a sadistic killer who's sicker, realer and therefore so much scarier than Hannibal Lector.

Pedophile killer Gabriel Engle has been caught, but that's just the beginning. In his wake of sadism Engle left a quiet German suburb in turmoil with a dead young girl. Everyone, including police chief Martens, would be happy to let the monstrous Engles take the wrap for this murder as well, but Martens knows for innocence to be protected the truth must come out at any cost.

Certainly Engle knows something about the case, and Martens sets off to interview the killer in hopes of learning the truth. As he scrapes futiley away at the mystery, something dark begins to leach into him from the city, his disturbing encounters with Engle and the doubt that grows more ominous everyday. Martens learns truths about human nature in general and his own nature in particular push him to the edge of reason and righteousness. Rife with Catholic imagery and Biblical symbolism Antibodies still feels modern, seamlessly reconciling the fresh and the archetypical. And the truly, truly creepy.
Review Date: 3/29/2010

After watching 3:10 to Yuma and hearing such good things about this movie I was really excited. However after 20 minutes of nothing happening I started to have my doubts, but figured I give it a bit more time. But after 2 hours nothing still happened! The acting was essentially the actors mumbling their lines. There were endless shots of wheat blowing in the wind. Three hours past and still nothing happened. The movie ended. I was pissed.
Review Date: 6/5/2008

Having read all the bad reviews this movie's been getting, I went in with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. From seeing Baz Luhrmann's Red Curtain trilogy (Strictly Ballroom, Romeo+Juliet and Moulin Rouge) I knew what to expect as far as visuals, but had no idea what the tone of the story would be.

Luhrmann's Australia was, to me, closer to the romantic adventures of old Hollywood- Red Dust, Mogambo, the African Queen, Lawrence of Arabia, Gone With the Wind- than to his previous works. And that's a good thing. I love the fantastical trippyness of his earlier stuff, but its great to see a director surprise you by breaking out something you didn't know they were capable of.

Yes the main characters are a tad cardboard, but that tends to go with the territory of epic melodrama. And it says something for the acting of Kidman and Jackman, as well as the young child actor, that I cared about their characters despite their cliches.

The film also fleshes out its romantic escapism with the real tragedy of war and racism, and manages to do so without making either element seem out of place. It tells the story of one child of Australia's Stolen Generations and weaves it seamlessly in with the history of war and the fictional story of family, redemption and hope.

The visuals are stunning, and the story is sweeping and stirring. Australia is a movie in love with romance, drama, nostalgia, grandeur, tragedy, joy and life itself.
Review Date: 4/4/2009

If you're looking for good, campy escapist fun with not too much to think about look no further. AVP is hardly original in plot, but if you're in the mood to watch scary creatures fight to the death with some attractive humans running for their lives in the middle, you can't do any better. This is a fun, fast-paced creature feature.
Review Date: 7/4/2008

Guillermo del Toro is a genius. His later, more artsy work not withstanding, it takes a genius to make another action movie sequel about another action hero continuing a battle against another set of baddies more than it needs to be to earn back its budget.

The plot of Blade II is standard fare. Half-human, half-vamp, asskickin' vamp hunter Blade rescues his mentor and is forced into a devil's bargain with his worst enemies to hunt *another* even worst-er enemy. Backs are stabbed, allegiances are formed, bad guys snarl and threaten, Blade makes witty quips, a sidekick is amusing but unhelpful, an indistinguishably attractive actress is attractive. Every action cliche you could want. But... how to put this? Blade II rocks.

Del Toro's action scenes are hypnotic, like ballet on meth. His monsters are gargoyles worthy of Notre Dame Cathedral, and he can splash blood with the skill and enthusiasm of Jackson Pollock. Two memorable scenes (the opening sequenece in a bloodbank, and another at a monster's autopsy) are deliciously creepy. Del Toro's script may not have anything that new or interesting to say, but in this case the delivery makes it worth listening to.
Review Date: 9/16/2009

There's nothing better than a good dramatic, romantic movie with people in fancy old-fashioned clothes and upperclass British accents. Sometimes they can be thought-provoking, sometimes they can be escapist fantasy, either way, they're enjoyable. Brideshead Revisited is neither.

The original story has been not so much adapted as rearranged to fit the stereotype of what the director thinks a Merchant-Ivory movie should be. Everything controversial and interesting in Evelyn Waugh's novel (religion, class, family conflicts, homosexuality, alcoholism, lust, sin) is completely watered down.

The relationship between middle-class atheist Charles Ryder and Lord Sebastian Flyte of the fantastically wealthy Catholic Marchmain family is the center of the original story, but here its delegated to a 3-minute montage of the two handsome collegiates frolicking on the lawn. The focus is then on the romance between Charles and Lady Julia Flyte, which arises without explanation, is completely devoid of any kind of sparks or chemistry, and sputters out without any real emotion from either party.

Emma Thompson is of course, excellent as the rigidly Catholic Lady Marchmain. Michael Gambon is also great in his few scenes as the renegade Lord Marchmain. And Ben Whishaw is believably tragic as the tortured alcoholic, homosexual and perpetually adolescent Sebastian Flyte. But the two romantic leads are about as interesting and romantic as dishwater. And since the moviemakers have in this case chosen to make these two star-crossed jellyfish the focus of the story, the overall quality of the movie follows suit.
Review Date: 2/4/2009

Brian dePalma brings Stephen King's brilliant first novel to life in all its stark and bloody detail. Carrie is the story of a birth in all its gorey glory. Carrie; shy, embarrassed, seemingly helpless, attempts to emerge from the hell of her childhood into a free, bright adulthood, only to be met with the same ridicule and violence from her cruel classmates and fanatical mother. But Carrie has grown up, not into an adult, but into something darker, more vengeful and infinitely more powerful that will repay them blood for blood. Sissy Spacek is perfect as the deer-in-headlights performance she gives as Carrie White, creating a character that is simultaneously horrifying and pitiable.
Review Date: 7/22/2008

I was 14 years old when Cruel Intentions came out, and to my middle-school sensibilities it was absolutely the sexiest, most dramatic, decadent movie I could imagine. Of course now, I can see it for what it is, but I don't really enjoy it any less. Cruel Intentions updates the story of Dangerous Liaisons into a modern Manhattan prep school, and the story translates remarkably well. The youthful cast acquit themselves remarkably well, hitting just the right notes of entitlement and self-doubt. The story is melodramatic, but sharply written, not too long and with just enough mocking self-awareness to keep from being to ridiculousely serious. Cruel Intentions is a teen movie that teeters on the edge of eroticism (i.e. a remarkably chaste lesbian kiss), allowing its target audience to emulate the characters in the way that matters most; by allowing them to play at being grown-ups, while never losing sight of their true immaturity and inexperience.
Review Date: 8/26/2008

Season two of a show that is **not for everyone** comes back stronger and slicker than ever. Dexter Morgan is the nicest serial killer on the block, eating his favorite Cuban sandwiches, bowling with his colleagues, spending time with his lovely girlfriend and her adorable kids.... and dismembering evil doers.

Season two is stronger, funnier, and more thought-provoking than the first. Dexter is struggling to maintain his cover with his co-worker Seargent Doakes tailing him constantly.

His homelife gets complicated when girlfriend Rita, sure that Dexter is hiding something, is convinced that Dexter is a drug addict. In rehab Dexter meets the darkly volatile Lila who just might see the real Dexter.

Things get even worse when his body stash is discovered and Dexter himself is drawn into Miami Metro's investigation of the "Bay Harbor Butcher". With fantastic acting and writing, Dexter continues to be one of the most addicting and exciting shows on TV.
Review Date: 2/1/2009

The fourth season of the no-longer-so-new Doctor Who is the same emotional rollercoaster of glee and heartbreak as the previous seasons; a ride that thrills and elates and makes tragedy worthwhile. After starting on a slightly weaker note with the flimsiest of the Christmas specials, Voyage of the Damned, season four picks up by reuniting the Tenth Doctor with Donna Noble, former runaway bride.

Although Donna's alternately insecure and brassy personality makes her initially less likable than the departed Martha Jones, Captain Jack and Rose Tyler, watching the character change over the season is one of the best story arcs the new Doctor Who has yet presented. Catherine Tate is superb at making Donna believable in all shades of her transformation from lowly temp to "the most important woman in the universe". With David Tennant's continually flawless Tenth Doctor, season four offers some of the best written, most memorable episodes, including the mystery-laden "Silence in the Library", "The Unicorn and the Wasp" a fantasic historical vignette in which the Doctor and Donna meet Agatha Christie, and the brilliant alternate reality of "Turn Left".

And the ending, as always, is a star-spangled punch to the gut with moments of uplifting delight and crashing lows. Earth faces its greatest threat yet, and the Doctor confronts bitter truths about himself and his impact on the humans he meets. Reuniting all of the Doctor's companions in an epic battle that alters the Doctor's path forever, the finale of season four is the kind of rare, riveting television that you enjoy every minute of and hate to see end.
Review Date: 1/9/2010

"Ed Wood" is Tim Burton's love letter to the man no one loved. Johnny Depp as camp horror director Edward D. Wood Jr. is an underdog who lived and died an underdog, a cock-eyed optimist who was never fazed by his own failure, carrying on with blithe good humor. In that way, "Ed Wood" is a tremendously inspirational story for anyone who's ever had something fall through.

And not just an inspirational story, but a highly entertaining one. Ed Wood's Hollywood career was awash with colorful characters among them Criswell, Tor the Wrestler, Vampira and foremost- Ed Wood's muse: Bela Lugosi. Burton depicts Wood and his motley crew in the same heightened-shadows cinematic style of the old Universal horror films, making this biopic more visually interesting than most.

Ed Wood's films may be nigh unwatchable (I sat through sixty-odd minutes of Plan 9 From Outer Space just to say I had) but "Ed Wood" is charming, fresh, nostalic and honest.
Review Date: 1/28/2010

The Fall is one of those rare movies that sucks you in and wrenches you around like a roller coaster- in the best of ways. When its over, it leaves you stunned, amazed and enchanted. I kept asking myself- how had I never heard of this movie, HOW COULD I NEVER HAVE HEARD OF THIS MOVIE?? As a profound lover of fantasy of all kinds, only 2 fantasy films have ever had such a real, lasting, devastating effect on me; Pan's Labyrinth and The Fall.

Its the story of a young girl recovering from a broken arm in a rural hospital. There she meets Roy, a studio stuntman (the film is set in the early days of Hollywood). Roy has just lost his girlfriend to a leading man, and the use of his legs in a stunt gone wrong. His only desire is to end his life. Roy begins entertaining young Alexandria with stories in an effort to gain her trust, so he can manipulate her into unknowingly bringing him enough morphine to commit suicide. But the story he tells her begins to take on a life of its own, and through Alexandria's innocent courage and love, the story will change both their lives.

Its the story of 5 heroes seeking revenge on a common enemy, Governor Odious. The five heroes and their quest come to life in gorgeous color and detail as Alexandria imagines them, complete with her childish mistakes (Roy describes one as an Indian meaning Native American, Alexandria pictures an Indian from India). Perhaps what makes the film's visual beauty so astounding is that none of it is computer generated. Every fantastic landscape is real.

Even as Roy's fantasy world becomes more beautiful and enchanting, it begins encroaching on the real world, and comes perilously close to the pain of reality.

Actress Catinca Untaru gives, hands down, the best performance by a child actor I've ever seen. I've read that she was largely unscripted, so that her responses are genuine. She looks, talks and acts like a real child, making the fairy-tale world so much more believable. The rest of the cast is superb, the story is original and captivating, and the visuals are unforgettable. This is a fairy tale for the mind and heart, a fairy tale about real people as cowards and heroes, a gorgeous heart-wrenching fantasy.
Review Date: 12/8/2008

I have to admit my expectations were not high on this one, and I was pleasantly surprised. Fido is the most charming zombie movie I've ever seen, for those who find zombie movies charming.

Set in a parallel pastel 1950s America, the people of Willard use zombies as gardeners, butlers, cooks, nannies, you name it, thanks to ZomCom- the dream team company that keeps the zombies in check. Zombies are now essential and productive members of society- or are they? When ZomCom's technology goes on the fritz it puts little Timmy Robinson's beloved zombie Fido in serious trouble.

As a fantastic zombie Old-Yeller with a perfectly natural kid actor in K'Sun Ray, never to sweet or precocious, and Carrie-Anne Moss as his 50's housewife mom, Fido is fun, winning and gross all at once.
Review Date: 2/1/2009

Jack the Ripper was the first known serial killer, a modern murderer in a Victorian world. In From Hell, the Hughes brothers bring to life the Victorian city and the modern monster that haunted it. From Hell, like all Ripper lore, is based in fact but filled out by fantasy. The characters, the Victorian London, the events that unfold are all an odd combination of popular imagination and history. But in this case the combination works, and neither element overwhelms the other. The movie is darkly frightening and believable in the willing-suspension-of-disbelief way.

Johnny Depp plays Inspector Abberline in a deft, understated performance that fits the setting and skillfully avoids the cliche Scotland Yard caricature. Heather Graham (not my favorite actress) is remarkable sympathetic and realistic in a performance that bends over backwards to avoid being "the hooker with the heart of gold" and usually succeeds.

The gore is present but not gratuitous, considering the subject matter. But to anyone with a weak stomach, there was a reason they called him The Ripper. The mystery unravels deliberately, skillfully making use of all the early embedded clues so that you can almost guess who the Ripper is... perhaps. From Hell gives Jack the Ripper's legend its due; it succeeds in melding the modern and Victorian, the true horror and the myth that Jack the Ripper has become seamlessly.
Review Date: 9/18/2008

Jack the Ripper was the first known serial killer, a modern murderer in a Victorian world. In From Hell, the Hughes brothers bring to life the Victorian city and the modern monster that haunted it. From Hell, like all Ripper lore, is based in fact but filled out by fantasy. The characters, the Victorian London, the events that unfold are all an odd combination of popular imagination and history. But in this case the combination works, and neither element overwhelms the other. The movie is darkly frightening and believable in the willing-suspension-of-disbelief way.

Johnny Depp plays Inspector Abberline in a deft, understated performance that fits the setting and skillfully avoids the cliche Scotland Yard caricature. Heather Graham (not my favorite actress) is remarkable sympathetic and realistic in a performance that bends over backwards to avoid being "the hooker with the heart of gold" and usually succeeds.

The gore is present but not gratuitous, considering the subject matter. But to anyone with a weak stomach, there was a reason they called him The Ripper. The mystery unravels deliberately, skillfully making use of all the early embedded clues so that you can almost guess who the Ripper is... perhaps. From Hell gives Jack the Ripper's legend its due; it succeeds in melding the modern and Victorian, the true horror and the myth that Jack the Ripper has become seamlessly.
Review Date: 9/18/2008

I flippin' hate reviews that dismiss a movie the reviewer disliked because "its a guy movie" or "its a chick-flick" and therefore not relevant to that reviewer because of his or her gender.

The Grey is a deliberate, thoughtful action film. It is bleaker than most and present no easy definition of good or evil (hmmm, maybe that's why its called The Grey...) That may or may not be your cup of tea, but suffice it to say that this female moviegoer admired the acting and screenwriting greatly.
Review Date: 3/11/2013

Planet Terror is magic. Apocalyptic, decaying corpse-filled, gut-spewing, ultracampy, manic, frenetic magic. If you wouldn't care to see a guy turning into a zombie with pustules bursting banana-yellow goo, spare yourself the trauma. If that's your cup of tea, look no further.

The plot, in an extremely cliched nutshell, is that all hell breaks loose in a small southwestern town, when the local military loses control of a deadly virus that turns people into flesh-eating monsters covered in infected sores. A small group of survivors, including a GoGo dancer who's lost a leg to the undead, a mysterious mercenary, the battered wife of the local doctor, and the owner of the local barbeque, band together to fight off the ravening hoard.

Along the way one-liners are cracked, cars are blown up and enough blood is shed that the actors might as well have been given water-guns filled with fake blood and told to reinact the battle of Gettysburg. The whole thing is done in true B-movie style, with a sort mad glee as infectious as the zombie plague. You'll laugh your way through this love-letter to camp horror films, if you can stand to watch.
Review Date: 3/12/2009

Not your run-of-the-mill comic book/superhero movie, Guillermo del Toro's Hellboy has more in common with monster-fantasies like the Mummy, Van Helsing and mythological classics like Clash of the Titans. In this case, those hoping for an X-Men style action flick might find themselves perplexed or even disappointed. But del Toro knows what he's doing, he creates a stunning world of labyrinthine tunnels populated by the most remarkable, fanciful creatures. del Toro's monsters surpass anything dreamed up by M. Night Shyamalan or anyone else in Hollywood these days. Yet the actors who portray them manage to make such alien creatures familiar and sympathetic.

It's rare to find a director with vision so unique, as well as a great story to tell. And the story of Hellboy is a fantastic tale suffused with wry humor and an epic battle between good and evil, choice and destiny, sin and redemption at its core.
Review Date: 8/9/2008

There is a reason some films are classics. They're the best, they're as perfect as film can get, they should not be messed with. Why do something over that you did right 48 years earlier? Gary Cooper's performance in the original High Noon is so mesmerizing, the build-up of tension and desperation so masterful, everything about it is so pitch-perfect. Anything that tries to stand in comparison just shows its own glaring shortcomings. There's nothing really wrong with this average-ish remake, but it has none of the genius of the original. Please, please, please skip this one, even if you don't like old movies or don't like black and white movies, the original is worth it!
Review Date: 7/4/2008

This series is a fascinating look at the tremendous heights of empirical glory and despotism that kicked off the Roman Empire. From the brilliant government of Augustus to the mad and criminal excesses of Caligula the early years of the Roman Empire are brought to life in brilliant detail and color through the eyes of the wretched Claudius. Ignored, ridiculed and despised for his limp and his stutter, he witnesses and records the vast web of power, murder, ambition, intrigue and madness that engulfs Rome's royal family. This series is the perfect meeting of History Channel and tabloid.
Review Date: 7/22/2008

This is not a period drama for people looking for deep, thwarted passions; The Importance of Being Earnest is pure fantasy with its rich, lovable and completely irresponsible heroes & heroines making a tangled mess of their lives & love affairs. But Oscar Wilde makes frivolousness more charming and substantial than anyone else ever has, and he has no better living disciple than Rupert Everett.

Everett perfectly captures the sly, self-indulgent charm that makes Wilde's story such escapist fun and the rest of the cast catches his infectious appeal. Reese Witherspoon and Frances O'Connor strike the perfect balance between romantic naivete and haughtiness. Colin Firth, as Everett's ostensibly more responsible friend, plays off him perfectly. And as always, Dame Judi Dench commands every scene she's in.

This movie is a romp, pure and simple. With some of the most absurd situations and ridiculous dialogue imaginable, it still catches the fancy and paints a bright pastel world that would be so much fun to visit.
Review Date: 2/26/2009

In a decade of interchangable superhero movies desperately trying to enter the Superhero Pantheon, Iron Man is the only one that succeeds in breaking the wanna-be mold and becomes truly fresh and worthwhile. It mixes just the right amount of real world injustice and superhero magic.

The movie never takes itself to seriously and so never becomes too heavy handed or bogged down in psychology. It never becomes too slapstick, and Downey Jr.'s remarkable performance brings to life both the bitterness that makes Tony Stark a believable human being and the fortitude that leads him to make himself into Iron Man.

Stark doesn't care what anyone thinks of him; he's a playboy/weapons mogul who fights injustice because it offends him personally and follows the rules of no other superhero code. Iron Man, too, follows the rules of no other superhero movie; it leaves the impression that the filmmakers did it solely to please themselves, disregarding what the studio or fanboy expect and "Iron Man movie" to be.

And that's what makes it great. Now if only they could continue to ignore precedent and continue the stellar work in the inevitable sequel.
Review Date: 10/7/2008

In a decade of interchangable superhero movies desperately trying to enter the Superhero Pantheon, Iron Man is the only one that succeeds in breaking the wanna-be mold and becomes truly fresh and worthwhile. It mixes just the right amount of real world injustice and superhero magic.

The movie never takes itself to seriously and so never becomes too heavy handed or bogged down in psychology. It never becomes too slapstick, and Downey Jr.'s remarkable performance brings to life both the bitterness that makes Tony Stark a believable human being and the fortitude that leads him to make himself into Iron Man.

Stark doesn't care what anyone thinks of him; he's a playboy/weapons mogul who fights injustice because it offends him personally and follows the rules of no other superhero code. Iron Man, too, follows the rules of no other superhero movie; it leaves the impression that the filmmakers did it solely to please themselves, disregarding what the studio or fanboy expect and "Iron Man movie" to be.

And that's what makes it great. Now if only they could continue to ignore precedent and continue the stellar work in the inevitable sequel.
Review Date: 10/7/2008

In a decade of interchangable superhero movies desperately trying to enter the Superhero Pantheon, Iron Man is the only one that succeeds in breaking the wanna-be mold and becomes truly fresh and worthwhile. It mixes just the right amount of real world injustice and superhero magic.

The movie never takes itself to seriously and so never becomes too heavy handed or bogged down in psychology. It never becomes too slapstick, and Downey Jr.'s remarkable performance brings to life both the bitterness that makes Tony Stark a believable human being and the fortitude that leads him to make himself into Iron Man.

Stark doesn't care what anyone thinks of him; he's a playboy/weapons mogul who fights injustice because it offends him personally and follows the rules of no other superhero code. Iron Man, too, follows the rules of no other superhero movie; it leaves the impression that the filmmakers did it solely to please themselves, disregarding what the studio or fanboy expect and "Iron Man movie" to be.

And that's what makes it great. Now if only they could continue to ignore precedent and continue the stellar work in the inevitable sequel.
Review Date: 10/7/2008

Journey to the Center of the Earth is directed by an Oscar winning visual effects artist, and it shows. The movie looks amazing. And that's about it. The writing is plodding, predictible and as stale as the air in an underground cave.

The actors do their best to bring charm and freshness to the film, but its like performing CPR on a day-old corpse. The characters say and do things that a baboon with two brain cells to rub together wouldn't do, just to further the abysmal screenwriting and set the movie up for director Eric Brevig's strong point; the visual effects.

And Brevig does a good job with the visuals, the underground terrarium is a sci-fi wonderland, although the dinosaurs look a little lame. But if there's one thing that's been proved over and over, its that gorgeous CGI makes a good video game, but not a good movie.

I couldn't help comparing this to Brendan Fraser's 10-year-old action adventure, The Mummy. The CGI in The Mummy was cutting edge for its time, and it still looks fine. But the writing is witty, the characters are engaging, the whole thing is livelier and more memorable because someone put some effort into the storytelling.

Ultimately, there's more depth in a movie about a reanimated 3000-year-old corpse than in The Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Review Date: 12/29/2008

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