Black Spring Break: The Worst Movie Ever
firstname.lastname@example.org | Milwaukee, WI | 12/10/2001
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Black Spring Break is absolutely, without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen. The movie's title, "Black Spring Break: The Movie", apparently needed "The Movie" simply because no one could figure out that it is a movie simply by watching it. It is honestly hard to believe that anyone would think up the idea of this movie, write a script for it, allow this movie to be made, waste their time filming it, put down money to produce the movie, or even allow the movie to be put into a movie theater or video store...simply because it is that terrible.The essential plot of the movie is four friends go to Daytona Beach, where all the black college students go for spring break. One of the friends is a star football player and he must stay away from agents who are trying to sign him. That is it; the plot is really that absent. This wouldn't be a big deal, but along with the plot being absent, so is the action and any sensible or meaningful dialogue.At no part of this 90 minute "movie", is there anything resembling acting. The quality of the film itself leads one to believe that the film was shot using a cheap consumer camcorder. The angles many times have a noticeable tilt to them, such as those in the hotel dialogue scenes. The cinematography was so bad, it is obvious that the director and camera men (more likely camera man) never earned anything resembling a degree in cinematography, and beyond that probably never graduated from a high school. At one point, seemingly for no reason, there is a completely unnecessary stripper scene. Now this wouldn't necessarily make the movie any worse, in fact it could have made the movie a lot better, were it not for the fact that the stripper was extremely ugly.The budget for the movie is reflected everywhere. This movie was obviously made completely outside of a movie studio. There is nothing resembling a set throughout the whole movie. This is evident in the hotel dialogue scenes, where the camera is too close to the actors as a result of the small room. Throughout the movie each actor continues to wear the exact same wardrobe, as they probably didn't have enough money to buy more than one set of clothes for this movie. The end scene features a red mustang with an enterprise rent-a-car logo on the rear bumper. I simply wanted to cry when I saw this. My estimate puts the budget at just under $1000, for the rented hotel room, rented mustang, sub-par stripper, Sony camcorder, and 1 set of wardrobe.It is my conclusion that this movie was probably filmed in the span of one day, most likely in just over the amount of time of the movie itself. At one point, one of the actors miss-says his lines, stutters, pauses, and continues on with his lines. Just the fact that this is in the movie leads me to believe that there was NO editing done on this movie whatsoever.When the credits rolled, I was stunned to see that the "actors" apparently played themselves as instead of having two-column credits like "William Wallace - Mel Gibson", they simply had one-column credits like "Kenny Flyy." I am astonished that this movie is in existence and I urge everyone to rent it simply to burn it and eradicate these movies from existence."
Eddie Smith | Los Angeles | 03/13/2000
(3 out of 5 stars)
"I found it to be a cool movie. The budget was totally micro and some of the comedy was a bit too over the top... downright silly, and the story got a bit predictable. Nonetheless, I found myself liking it a bit."