BEWARE, it is not the 1986 movie as listed.
K. Cannon | USA | 04/02/2004
(2 out of 5 stars)
"This DVD is for the 2003 film released by Brain Damage films and starring Phoebe Dollar. It IS NOT for the 1986 movie of the same name, as listed.The 2003 movie contained on the DVD is pretty bad even for a B-Movie, so you might want to rent it first before buying it."
I Want My 85 minutes back ...
Travis R. Wilson | Corona, CA United States | 03/20/2004
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Bad acting, bad music, bad story, all around bad moviemaking."
"Let's Go To Lunch. Skipping Class Always Makes Me Hungry!"
Robert I. Hedges | 04/12/2010
(1 out of 5 stars)
""Blood Sisters" is the story of an all-vampire sorority brought to us by Joe Castro, who you may know from the even worse "Legend of the Chupacabra." The only special feature on the DVD is the ability to watch the movie in 2D or 3D. The 3D edition is unwatchable, as all I could take away from it was a giant headache; the 2D version is exactly the same with a smaller headache. The movie starts with a sleazy guy getting seduced and killed by female vampires in the style of an extended music video, only less coherent and more jarringly edited. To say this film looks cheap is to do a profound disservice to thrifty misers everywhere: this film would make Ed Wood wince. Example one: the sound quality. There are several things you need to be aware of when watching this DVD, and the first is that you must have the remote handy for continuously adjusting the sound. The soundtrack goes from muffled and nearly inaudible (turn the volume up...) to intensely blaring (turn the volume down...) in a picosecond. In retrospect it would have been far handier to simply use the remote to turn the movie off, and then go burn it.
The plot centers on Tracy (the genuinely cute Erica Howards) and Melissa (the ultra-annoying Kerry Lui,) two girls who want to pledge the all-vampire sorority, and start the movie out by being exhausted by a strenuous afternoon of closet organization, which we get to see in great detail. Whew! They attend precious few classes, but one that they do go to is taught by Professor Frye (Lenny Wilson) on ancient cultures and secret societies. (Really.) The class appears to be held in a motel closet, and Frye's dialogue is among the most inane ever committed to video.
Just when I thought it couldn't get worse than a ludicrous and pompous supernatural class, Castro gives us the "lost keys in the parking garage scene," which is one of the worst conceived and acted scenes in movie history. We quickly learn that when the three vampires in the all-vampire sorority (Alpha Beta Pi) drink blood from a victim's neck that the best available sound effect is that of a big cat (lion? tiger? liger?) growling with neck bones crunching. We also get to see the world's ugliest tattoo in gruesome closeup. Because Tracy is getting wise to the vampires, they decide to get her and Melissa to pledge in the stupidest sorority recruitment scene I've ever imagined. My question: if they are so concerned with Tracy's knowledge and they have been killing people right and left for their blood (and possibly marrow, given the sound effects,) why don't they simply kill Tracy? These are killings, by the way, with evidence everywhere, yet the local cops don't notice "anything unusual." How could they not solve these crimes?
There are so many plot holes in this film, that I actually think there's more hole than plot, which is why I had to take a break from it at this point. Seeking to get away from this ghastly cinematic embarrassment, I went for a run. During the course of the run I was bit by a dog, receiving a nasty, profusely bleeding wound on my left arm. This required medical attention and an antibiotic. Nonetheless, I still actually found the run, even with the canine-related injury, more enjoyable than "Blood Sisters." This is a completely true story.
Despite Tracy's suspicions about the sorority sisters being behind the local murders, Tracy and Melissa decide to pledge Alpha Beta Pi anyway, and the initiation is something to be seen. If you have ever seen "The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman" (a.k.a. "She Was A Hippy Vampire") you have seen what was for years the most ridiculous initiation ritual into a secret society ever caught on film. Until now. That's all I'm going to say about it. After Tracy and Melissa are welcomed into the sisterhood of vampirism by the evil leader Eliza (Deborah Huber,) they are officially half-vampires until they make their first kill. Melissa just wants to be part of the gang and quickly devours Tracy's pseudo-boyfriend Colin (credited simply as "Waki,") then accidentally stabs herself to death with a wooden stake to the heart in what could very easily be the most contrived and ineptly hilarious scene in horror history.
Tracy consults Professor Frye, who is an expert on vampires, and sells Tracy his book "Everything You Need to Know About Vampires" for the reduced price of ten dollars. He then gives her counsel on controlling her half-vampire issue, and we then get a long scene of Tracy reading (can your heart stand the excitement?!) which, to help the plot along, is narrated by Frye. We learn that not only are vampires capable of doing astral projection and shape shifting, but that they are peace-loving, hyper-intelligent, and control the world. From an evolutionary point of view we also hear that "vampires were actually the first intelligent life to walk on the Earth," and that they created humans as a food source and to be slaves. I have some profound theological problems with this.
In further laborious consultation with Frye, Tracy discovers that he is a vampire, and wants the sorority stopped as it's giving vampires a bad name (as best I could understand it.) He tells Tracy to take on Eliza and that she will be able to get rid of her vampire half if she kills her. Now I was nearly certain this could get no stupider, but once again, was proven wrong. Tracy takes on Eliza, who roars "Do you really think a weak half-breed like you could kill me?" Professor Frye is there encouraging Tracy, and when she gets Eliza down for the count, suddenly she sprouts what appears to be a giant tubeworm puppet from her mouth, thereby enabling Tracy and Frye to turn her inside out, ending the collegiate vampire menace.
In all seriousness, this is one of the worst movies I have ever in all my life seen, and if you look at my reviews over the years you will see that I have seen more than my share of grade-Z cinema. This is a simply dreadful viewing experience in every way, and I cannot think of a single person I would wish this odious dung heap on."