Search - Corpse Grinders 2 on DVD

Ted V. Mikels, Dolores Fuller, And A Planet Of Cat People...

Robert I. Hedges | 07/11/2010

(4 out of 5 stars)

""The Corpse Grinders" was a quirky 1971 low-budget B-movie by peculiar auteur Ted V. Mikels about the Lotus Cat Food Company, which used human corpses in its product. Almost thirty years later, in 2000, Mikels unveiled "The Corpse Grinders II", one of the weirdest sequels in cinema history.

The film was made on a miniscule budget in Las Vegas, and has a huge cast, although movie buffs will likely not know most of the cast members. The big stars in the cast are B-movie fixture Liz Renay, Dolores Fuller (of Ed Wood fame) as a cat foot saleswoman, and Ted V. Mikels himself as Professor Mikoff, a strange college professor if ever there was one. He studies unusual sounds (like those made by spaceships) and wears a tam o' shanter on his head and his trademark horn on a chain around his neck. Combined with his handlebar moustache, it's a pretty startling and comedic effect.

The film opens on the planet Ceta, populated by cat people. War with the dog people has destroyed their food supply (I absolutely swear to you that I am not making any of this up) and they must journey to Earth for food. The commander of the spaceship (which puts Ed Wood to shame in the "cheap props" department) is Felina (played by "Shanti") has various encounters on her arrival, including being sold cat food by Dolores Fuller and subsequently passing out in a tree while Eddie, an actual tabby, claws at the bottom right on cue. Felina enlists the help of the US government, and the "men in black" (you will love when they use their advanced "Dimensional Force Field" technology...) assist her in her purchase of 400 cases of Lotus Cat Food. That doesn't seem like a lot to feed a planet, but cats are finicky eaters I suppose.

Of course to get the food the company needs more corpses and spares no expense getting them, even hiring hit men to kill "undesirables" for one hundred dollars each ("You just pop 'em, we take care of the rest.") The evil cat food moguls Landau (Sean Morelli) and Maltby (Andy Freeman) leave no stone unturned in their search for the human flesh they need: watch for the particularly painful funeral scene. The cast is fleshed out (if you will pardon the pun) with people Ted knew, mostly doctors and a retired airline pilot, who get faxes about the cat food situation on Ceta from cat-people named Borath (Gene Paul Jones) and Ubock (Spike Measer), resulting in any number of plot discontinuities and resultant hilarity. The cast also features many cats (who each get a credit by name) and even Ted's own family (his son, Ted, is put through the grinding machine, and his grandson is a terrifying alien). Professor Mikoff figures everything out and packs a duffel bag (and takes his book on cannibalism) to ride the spaceship back to Ceta to continue his studies. In the end the government provide the food for the Cetans, and the credits roll in a rather jarring conclusion.

The highlights of the film are twofold: first, the scenes in the Cetan spaceship. These are among the most hilarious moments ever filmed. I don't have any idea what the budget for these scenes was, but they are to be treasured by B-movie lovers for all eternity. Secondly, the commentary track with Ted V. Mikels, who's always a good sport and jocular guy. The commentary does reveal some interesting information about filmmaking (backlighting smoke and rain at night, for instance, makes the effects more visible), but mostly it's just fun listening to him reminisce about the people and locations in the film. The commentary is worth the purchase price alone. You might think with a title like "The Corpse Grinders II" that this would be a gore-laden movie. Wrong: it's totally benign. It's kind of a horror parody, with an extraterrestrial cat motif. In other words, it's a totally unique viewing experience.

Students of B-movies would guess that this isn't a very good movie, and they would certainly be correct. That is not to say, however, that it's not an entertaining movie, because it certainly is. Fans of B-movies, camp, cult cinema, Ted V. Mikels, and cats from outer space should all love this truly bizarre nugget of cheese."