Michael Sekac | Port Angeles, WA USA | 07/14/2005
(5 out of 5 stars)
"I recently had the pleasure of watching a film starring the Hunkiest specimen of Man-meat ever to grace the silver screen. It was Rudy Ray Moore in Dolemite. Let me start off by saying this is quite possibly the finest film ever made. Dolemite himself is a man so baaad that he doesn't even feel the need to be in good shape to impress us, he let's his martial arts do the talkin'. If Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Tony Jaa were all combined into one glorious person they would still aspire to be Dolemite. To the untrained eye it would appear that Dolemite is not actually hitting people in the fight scenes. In reality he is just so fast that he can snap his hands and feet there and back so quickly that it gives the viewer the illusion that his foot is six inches away from the targets head.
This movie also has the flyest honeys ever captured on film. Queen Bee, the leader of Dolemite's kung fu strumpets, somehow manages to become more mesmerizing in each scene.
Dolemite's insults are so cutting that it would make Don Rickles weep uncontrollably. This is a man who knows in order to hurt someone's feelings you need to scream "muthaf***a" at the end of every insult. Also to showcase his wit there are five minute poetry reciting scenes. Some would say these scenes are waaay to long and very unnecessary, but that is just plum rediculous. It shows that he is a jack of all trades.
The emotion also runs rampant in this movie. I cried for hours after the tragic and untimely death of the "Hamburger Pimp". That's right the "Hamburger Pimp". Why hasn't Hollywood thought to name every character in every movie that. This movie is so gritty and real that they decided to make the boom mike visible in numerous scenes just to remind the audience that its just a movie.
All in all, if you see one movie in your entire life make it Dolemite."
Only two reasons:
Christian M. Montoya | San Diego, CA | 10/12/2005
(5 out of 5 stars)
"This movie is worth buying just for these two reasons:
1) The Hamburger Pimp (think of him as a crack-headed, nappy-haired version of Popeye's Wimpy). And he has his own theme music.
2) This movie contains the greatest single line in cinematic history.
Just as the two crooked cops (with their sideburns down to here) pull Dolemite over in a futile attempt to frame the baddest motha' around, they taunt, "You think you're so bad, Dolemite...riding around in your big fancy cars, wearing all them fancy clothes, with all of your black b*tches!" our hero snaps back with, "You forgot about the white one!"
They just don't make movies like they used two. Buy two copies, one to permanently leave in your DVD player. And the other to put under your pillow when you sleep.
So bad it's funny
Christopher Schadt | Goshen, NY | 06/08/2005
(4 out of 5 stars)
"The story of a good-hearted pimp framed by some dirty cops and his arch-rival Willie Greenand then released from prison so he and his all girl army of kung fu hookers can clean up the streets. Rudy Ray Moore is a stand up comedic genius and I once I became a fan and learned that he had actually made a series of movies based on one of his characters, Dolemite, I had to get it and see it.
This movie is so bad, you can't help loving it. The acting is sub-par, especially from the pair of dirty cops. The camera crew's shadows can be seen, boom mikes can be seen at the top and bottom of the screen, and the lights used to keep the actors lit sometimes move off target and can be seen lighting up the background in an attempt to illuminate their target character.
Despite the poor production values the movie is a riot of laughter almost from start to finish with Rudy (as the titular character Dolemite) delivering some of the funniest dialogue I've heard in a long time. The action scenes, with the kung fu girls against the evil army of Willie Green, are laughable. Dolemite apparently has a cook on his side that you only see in these fight scenes. Dolemite eventually defeats his nemisis by tearing out his heart (perhaps it's his liver because he tears it out of his stomach, and when his FBI agent ally sees this he fires a shot into the corpse to take the blame away from Dolemite, as if no one will notice his heart (liver?) torn out by hand.)
If you love bad movies, you'll love Dolemite!"
Bubba Zanetti | Indianapolis, IN USA | 03/14/2000
(5 out of 5 stars)
"Charles Mingus once said that "exact perfection or exact imperfection are both perfection when they stand to be judged alone." Well, keeping that in mind, and provided that you're not one of those film critics who can't go thirty minutes without thinking of Citizen Kane, you should be able to enjoy Dolemite for all of the bizarre dialogue, wooden delivery and technical mishaps... not despite it. Rudy Ray Moore and D'Urville Martin do such a great job moving the film along on a shoestring budget, you barely have time to notice the boom mics hanging in their faces."