"It's pronounced Huh-Ron-A-Mo...."
Marcus H. Smilfer | Chicagoland, USA | 08/24/2005
(4 out of 5 stars)
"Man, oh man, where to start....Like most of the reviewers, I first saw this movie on Mystery Science Theater, the season SciFi made them switch to all SciFi movies. Did this movie cause them to be cancelled? Who knows. I DO know that this is an amazing movie: Car chases! Boat chases! Church chases! Float chases!
Before I get into who is who, it needs to be stated at the outset that the real star of this movie is the gorgeous island of Malta. And, the movie does everything in its power to show off the island: Ancient churches, harbors, forts and of course the blue waters of the Mediterranean all are on display at various points. You know, if I could get a certified letter from the Maltese government promising that Joe Don would not be on the island, I might actually go.
The plot sort of focuses on a flatulent, murder-obsessed Texas deputy played by Joe Don Baker and his oh-so hot side-kick: a black-eyed, raven haired Maltese beauty whose name escapes me (Helena Abella?). HOT, I SAY! Anyway, they are in Malta tracking a bad, bad Italian that killed Joe-Don's partner, and in return Joe-Don killed the Italian's brother and then the Italian's flunkies arranged for the plane he and Joe-Don were on to land in Malta and that's the back-story. The dvd is great, because all the dancers that you see on stage on MST3K are here and they are all NAKED! Yes! But, Joe-Don's partner is not naked. NO! Well, it's true and this thing was made in 1980-something, so it's too late now. Anyway, if you want ACTION, if you want ADVENTURE, if you want THRILLS, CHILLS and lots of high-fat sauce SPILLS...you just "go ahead on" and buy FINAL JUSTICE!!!!!!
By the way, if you are interested in Malta, see my review of another Maltese-filmed epic, "BLACK EAGLE" which actually features some of the actors that were in this movie!
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