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Hanzo is fine, but the series needs Viagra
Jason | Backwater, Alabama | 03/23/2009
(4 out of 5 stars)
"One night when Hanzo's two lackeys, Viper and Devil-Fire, are out fishing, they are scared senseless by a female ghost. Immediately they report the sighting to their master, Hanzo the Razor. His natural inclination? He wants to bone the ghost. It's quite odd really; one would think that after all these years someone would have arrested Hanzo as the nation's most frequent serial rapist. How many other portly law officers flout the law in such fashion?
Anyway, Hanzo uncovers yet another string of criminals in authority, with corruption running amok, an elitist Japanese orgy, and of course the one lead villain who finds out that he's no match for Hanzo's sword or virility. In addition, there is a subplot dealing with Japan's transition from the way of the samurai to the superior western warfare (this may have been a subtle reference to past gunboat diplomacy between Japan and the U.S.).
Aside from the cat-and-mouse game Hanzo is always involved in to get to the bottom of the crimes, there are serious messages within this edition of the series. Despite the bizarrely contradictory method of delivery, there are definite underlying themes of poverty, justice, and the legacy of Japanese feudalism. It almost sounds ridiculous to make such a statement, but this may be the most serious Hanzo movie of them all.
Hanzo still has the baddest sword, the largest tool, the house full of deadly traps, the sex swing/basket, the wooden penis pounding stool and the cold bag of rice to molest. At this point, however, it's like Friday the 13th; we all know what's going to happen. Even though it's almost completely unoriginal, fans of the previous two should still enjoy the third installment in the only samurai magistrate rape funk music series ever created."
"Submit to the law!"
trashcanman | Hanford, CA United States | 12/16/2008
(3 out of 5 stars)
"The third and final film in the wanton Hanzo The Razor trilogy of twisted samurai exploitation flicks is by far the weakest in my opinion, but still has it's moments. The biggest issue is the sheer redundancy of it. Did we need to be taken through Hanzo's penis workout a third time? No. Did he need to do the suspended-in-a-net-rape thing again? Hell no. It was shocking and insane in the first film and unecessary in the second. Now it is boring. How sad is that? Another ninja assault on Hanzo's home; another slew of deaths by the same booby traps. You'd think word would get out or something. The madness of the second film made up for the reuse of the first film's defining moments, but this time around there just wasn't enough extra meat (so to speak) to take up the slack in this final tale of Japan's best (and horniest) officer from hell.
When Hanzo's two ex-con servants, Viper and Devil-Fire, encounter a ghostly woman while fishing near a castle, they run home to master. Hanzo hears their story and decides that he very much want to f^@k a ghost. This sets off a chain of events that leads to the uncovering of yet another plot by a high-ranking government official. This one involves a hoard of blind men acting as loan sharks to poor samurai, a killer bodyguard with a red-hilted sword and sheath, an orgy house where randy samurai's wives go to play while their husbands are away, and a sick doctor whose last wish is to convince Japan to modernize by building a Western cannon and wreaking havoc. All this is good stuff and makes the trilogy worth completing, but the repetition really takes away from the freshness. Zatoichi films never get old to me and there are some two dozen of those. It's too bad they ran out of ideas for Shintaro Katsu's second best character so quickly. At least the funky exploitation theme soundtrack is back in this installment. The main piece appears to be based on the riff from "Jumping Jack Flash". Groovy. Hanzo's signature sai-and-chain weapon gets shortchanged until the end and most of the action sequences are very run-of-the-mill.
If you enjoyed the first two adventures of Hanzo The Razor, then you will likely enjoy this one as well. Hanzo even gets to have (almost) consensual sex in this one. So romantic! There's no real reason not to complete the trilogy if you're a fan, but "Who's Got the Gold" is easily the weakest of the series."