Karen Black must have been desperate.
HorrorMan | The Marsten House | 11/29/2007
(1 out of 5 stars)
""Miner's Massacre" is your standard modern-day slasher with a little bit of sleaze and a lot of cheese, but virtually nothing to offer the horror genre. Borrowing from classics of the past, "Miner's Massacre" attempts to sell the villain Jeremiah Stone, a cold-blooded 49er who died but placed a curse on his gold, to the audience. Well, some of your typical idiotic twenty-somethings decide to go collect this gold upon receiving word from a friend that is within reach. Of course, the gold is cursed by the ole 49er and he is not about to let it go without a fight.
While fairly straightforward, "Miner's Massacre" has very little to offer the horror genre or its slasher sub-genre. The kills are pretty lame to be honest with you and the acting is for all intents and purposes pretty wooden to say the least. It is very difficult to take this one seriously, and it is actually a pretty boring movie overall. One of the many problems with this movie is that there are no likeable characters in this movie. To be perfectly frank, there are some very unlikeable characters in this movie to the extent that one almost hope the ole 49er will kill them all except for the fact that he is such a lame and generic attempt at a horror villain, made in the mold of a Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers style, but not nearly as convincing. The villain, Jeremiah Stone, also cannot be taken seriously and this another reason the movie comes off as a total joke.
I love slashers, but this one just cannot be taken seriously at all. Many slashers are not meant to be taken seriously, but most of the really good ones attempt to create some horror at least to some extent, a la "He Knows You're Alone", "Madman" (perhaps it is cheesy at times, but it comes up with the goods when it counts), "The Burning" and "Black Christmas". However, "Miner's Massacre" is really nothing more than an unintentional comedy and while some people like these types of movies, I find them dull and boring. In essence, "Miner's Massacre" has absolutely ZERO style and essentially zero substance to hang its hat on at the end of the day. Every now and then I run upon a good slasher flick, but every one I do find, I find ten or more like "Miner's Massacre" which is for all intents and purposes a complete waste of time. Sadly, I have seen much worse, however."
Bare bones slasher
Bud Bundy | MN USA | 07/22/2006
(4 out of 5 stars)
"Some guy finds some gold in an old mine, then he calls his friends to come and help him dig it up. And old miner, the Miner Forty-Niner, comes back to life and kills the guy. When the rest of the kids arrive, he goes after them as well. The characters aren't bad, they're total cliches, but played with enthusiasm. The plot sort of drags here and there with pointless subplots, but hey, they had to pad out the run time somehow.
Overall, I give it four stars because it's better than most of the garbage out there and I sort of liked it. Nothing great though - not even close. Okay for a boring night when there's nothing on TV if you're a fan of slashers."
S.M. | Louisiana | 03/02/2006
(2 out of 5 stars)
"I've never been the first to review a movie!! I rented this movie being a horror fan and any movie with the word massacre in the title is a movie for me! This movie isn't all that bad. It centers around 3 couples who go to a ghost town to try to find gold in a old mine. They end up bringing to life a dead miner who now takes revenge on anyone who tries to take "his" gold. Some good scenes in this movie. Overall, not a bad movie to rent, it's worth the $4 !!!!"
There's Gold (And Gore) In Them Thar Hills!
K. Fontenot | The Bayou State | 06/23/2006
(2 out of 5 stars)
"You know you've made it in cheesy B-cinema whenever your flick gets picked up by the SciFi channel. "Miner's Massacre" is one of those chosen few. SciFi flicks are of two kinds: 1)decent flicks with small budgets and even smaller stars or 2)just flat out awful. "Miner's Massacre" falls into this second group. It's the tale of a bunch of nubile twentysomethings who head off into the mountains to seek out an old mine that's full of gold. Of course, by finding the gold they unleash the fury of Jeremiah Stone, claim jumper, rapist, cannibal, and all-around nasty dude. He's awakened from his evil slumber whenever the brother of one of the main characters finds his stash and sends half of a map to his sister to let her know that there is in fact gold in them thar hills. When the sister arrives, with boyfriend and others in tow, the hackin' and slashin' kicks off big time.
I have to admit that there are some pretty decents kills in this flick. The miner is actually a pretty mean looking fellow and the actor who portrays him does a decent job in the role. The special effects aren't that shabby either.
The main complaint I have with this film is that the actors in it are just horrible. There's a geeky dude named Axl, who loses his girlfriend right at the beginning of this flick when she sees him holding hands with a local named Eve. Sure, Eve's pretty, but she has a horrible "redneck" accent that completely destroys her character. The rest of the gang are typical of films such as these. They all overact, wear skimpy clothes, and seem to abandon all sense of logic in making decisions.
Of course, there are the token cameos by little known or forgotten actors such as Jeff Conaway, Karen Black, and character actor Martin Kove.
If you decide to watch this flick, be prepared to get a typical hacker B-flick with only minimal repeat viewing potential. As stated before, the mad miner is a really cool idea and he has some wonderful kills, but it's just not enough to save this snoozer."