Night Train to Terror is a horror anthology loosely tied together by interludes featuring God (Himself) and Satan (Lu Cifer) on a train haggling over the souls of characters in the stories. Along for the ride, for some re... more »ason, is what we're told is a "rock band," singing one rockin' little tune called, "Dance With Me," accompanied by some pretty hot breakdancing. The souls of the musicians are to be divied up also, but it's dramatically frustrating when this doesn't happen. The trio of stories presented make about as much sense as this, banking on absurd situations and splatter technique for their appeal, but coming off as unhumorously grisly and sadistic anyway. "The Case of Harry Billings" tells of a poor sod drugged up and hypnotized into luring unsuspecting victims to a hospital where their organs are forcibly harvested and sold to medical schools across the globe. Said harvesting takes place often without benefit of anaesthetic. Same goes for the viewer. "The Case of Gretta Connors" is a love story involving a death cult inventing ever more complex forms of Russian Roulette at which to cackle maniacally. And last, and certainly longest, is "The Case of Claire Hansen," pitting the devout Claire against the son of Satan, whose heart she must remove and place in a wooden box made from the actual Cross. While mostly tiresome and overlong, there are some amusing moments of the late-night variety, the kind you may mercifully not remember the next day. --Jim Gay« less
Everybody's got something to do....everybody but you!
Spunk Monkey | The pit of despair | 07/02/2004
(5 out of 5 stars)
"This is, put simply, one of the greatest films of all time...if you like to watch movies while drunk and stoned! As stated elsewhere, the movie is actually three movies with a wrap around, so it moves at an incredible, surreal clip; lurching forward without any explanation or boring parts- decapitations, nudity, suicide cults, inexplicable behavior- all interweaven into a truly bizarre cinematic experience. The tie together, God and Satan on a train, is made sublime by the inclusion of, and I am not joking, 80's breakdancers getting down to one of the funniest songs that will penetrate your mind (hence the title of this review)! This is really, truly one of the great party movies and I recommend it to anyone who finds delirium in finding the strange, perverse, and Dadaish on the outer fringes of the movie watching universe. An underground cult classic."
Just shy of BRILLIANT; Must-Have Item
S. Nyland | Six Feet Of Earth & All That It Contains | 04/03/2004
(5 out of 5 stars)
"I wish Amazon would let customers use 1/2 star ratings cos this is actually a 4 /12 out of 5; Just short of a brilliant masterpiece in mid-80's four to ten minute attention spans, with a fake band aping Menudo and playing a song that makes Rick Springfield sound sophisticated.I first watched this on a drunken movie night binge and we were so impressed we played it twice: Half of which was due to being able to make zero sense of what was going on. Under initial scruitiny, the film appeared to be three features that had been edited down to become "chapters" in an athology piece, and ten minutes or so of research proved that to be true: NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR is actually three features from director John Carr, two of which were miserable bombs and one of which was apparently never finished, that the producer[s] then cut down to the barest minimum of footage deemed necessary to make them into the anthology chapters. The most popular & memorable of the three is actually the unfinished SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF with the great John Phillip Law in what would have been another one of those sad exploitation & horror films he was reduced to appearing in just to keep up on the alimony payments in the late 70s/early 80s. Because the film was never finished & trimmed down to about 27 minutes or so of footage, what we are left with is a dizzying tale about an insane asylum that is a front for a body parts harvesting organization, with Law being their latest recruit to be hypnotized, go out into the world & drug people [usually attractive B movie would have been starlets], bring them back to the asylum and turn them over to Richard Moll [billed as Charles Moll] who straps them down to gurneys, strips them nude, molests/assaults them, and then uses a hacksaw & other implements to carve off the marketable portions. Along the way we get a sexy head nurse Ratchet from hell, a lobotomized asylum director, John Phillip Law singing a church hymn, and what would have been the finest American made Mad Asylum thriller since DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT, which this movie is very reminiscent of. Gory, filled with exploitative nudity and utterly incomprehensible, this is my favorite of the bunch as well & the lost footage should be resurrected for a reconstruction -- It'd be an instant classic.Part two is actually all that is left of what was known as DEATH WISH CLUB, a straight to video bomb that actually is very reminiscent of Jess Franco's exploitation/murder mystery hybrids & shares their air of tacky immediacy. A not so young couple run afoul of a pornographer who enrolls them in a suicide thrill club, with results that are utterly hilarious and, again, edited down to the point where the film has no continuity on it's own and had to have a voiceover narration explain the events which unfold. They are not bothering mentioning, but the claymation killer bug is, a device that Carr apparently became enamored enough with to invest a serious amount of screen time to it in the next chapter;CATACLYSM. This was another home video only bomb that actually did find a release & is the least comprehensible of the three: What starts out as a sort of (...) Atrocicties From The Past bit turns into a confrontation against the Antichrist that allows for Carr to do a series of claymation sequences involving a giant Golem like creature run amok, as well as the anthology's most extensive use of his trademark horror gimmick: Having a victim electrocuted so that their head begins to shake back & forth like one of those mechanical paint shakers, while the flesh sizzles & smokes & melts off the skull [when allowed to run it's course]. While this may sound "gross" it looks about as realistic as his claymation Golem, and makes for laugh out loud moments that lovers of trash horror will go bonkers for.Linking these three segments are a series of discussions between God and Satan [both played by Cameron Mitchell, who also plays the detective in the CATACLYSM segment] who are presiding over a train wreck about to happen. How this movie came to be in the form it exists as may be one of the great puzzles of the 1980's. If you are looking for meaningful plots, convincing performances and deft filmmaking, this title is not advised. But if you want a movie that will demand repeat viewings, elicit repeat laughter & cheers as well as jeers, this DVD is the best money you can spend on entertainment this side of ZOMBIE LAKE or KING KONG VERSUS GODZILLA.Of additional note: (...)"
Late Night Horror Classic From 1984
S. Nyland | 07/27/2004
(5 out of 5 stars)
"Released in '84, "Night Train To Terror" was an instant late night horror cult classic. It enjoyed a following in its day although it has gone on the wayside. But anyone interested in cult classics of horror will really find this rare find appealing. The movie is a series of vignettes, three major cases argued by God and the Devil as a group of punk rockers ride an evening train. Warning: This movie is very gory, violent and scary and rated R. Kids under 16 more or less should not watch this film. Not for the faint of heart.
God and the Devil battle over souls in a philosophical "Seventh Seal" sort of way. The first case is Harry Billings (John P. Law)a man caught up in the horrors of a hospital in which patients are unwillingly severed and their body parts encased in jars for donation. Gory and disgusting scenes are rampant as the rest of the movie. The second case is that of a young girl who dreams of fame and fortune. She is made into a porn star by a domineering boyfriend/director. She joins a Death Club which plays a twisted Russian Roulette resulting in the electrocution of a Jimmi Hendrix look-alike. That scene is veyr disturbing and not intended for younger viewers. Actually, it is very unnecessary but the director of this film was getting away with nudity, violence and gore because it was late night. The last case is that of Claire Hansen, a faithful God-fearing woman, married to an atheist scientist who has written a controversial book "God Is Dead". The segment opens with a nightmare sequence involving the Nazis in World War II days. The final confrontation between good and evil collide as Claire faces the Devil's son. The claymation here is used for the images of demons (including one female demon named Ishtar). This movie is very bad if you really think about it but then again many bad movies have enjoyed popularity. As far as horror film goes, this film is a rare cult classic that appears tame and even intellectual in a "talky" way compared to the slice and dice slasher films of today with less plot."
M. Ryan Fairbanks | 05/02/2001
(4 out of 5 stars)
"BRILLIANT!Does rings around most h orror films of it's genre.Now If o nly the video distributors would t ake heart and re-release it alread y!!It's a must-have for any horror fan to add to their video collecti on!!4 star entertainment!THUMBS UP TERROR TRAIN!!!"
Amazing, in the worst way possible
M. Ryan Fairbanks | Cleveland, Ohio | 06/25/2010
(4 out of 5 stars)
"It's no secret that some weird stuff came out of the 70's and 80's, but I don't think there's anything out there that could prepare you for Night Train to Terror!
This is a horror anthology style movie that actually consists of three full length movies that were hacked into small, nonsensical, and completely incoherent segments that don't make a lick of sense whatsoever. The result is a putrid stew of intense gore, laughable claymation monsters, bottom shelf acting, and other atrocities that must be seen to be believed.
But what's even better is the wrap around story between these "tales". God and Satan are on a train bargaining over the souls of the characters from the stories, and on the next car over is an 80's pop band performing a tune complete with break dancing scenes, head bands, and colored strobe lights! What they don't realize is that the train is scheduled to crash, and only God and Satan can determine who gets their souls.
This has to be one of the worst movies ever created. It's also one of the most confusing, disturbing, cheesy, and downright weirdest things I've ever laid eyes on. I recommend Night Train to Terror to low budget horror and gore fans, drugs may enhance viewing experience."