Stock Footage, Stock Footage!
Robert I. Hedges | 12/18/2005
(1 out of 5 stars)
"With a title like "Piranha, Piranha" you might expect to see a few piranhas in this movie. Don't be ridiculous: what you actually will see is unending scenes of industrial diamond mining, motorcycle racing, and absolutely unending hunks of stock footage of every kind of animal (mostly birds, but also lots of alligators and sloths) known to man. I would guess that literally over half the running time of the movie is stock footage.
The plot, as thin as it is, concerns a whiny female photographer and her accomplice going to Venezuela to photograph wildlife (hence the premise for the stock footage padding). Once in the jungle they meet a certifiable lunatic (who dabbles in sadism, rape, kidnapping, and killing exotic animals) who ends up chewing the scenery for the bulk of the movie. In the end almost everybody dies, and you will never guess the stirring conclusion. Well you would never guess it if you had zero brain cells, but a single-celled organism can figure out the ending about five minutes into the film.
This is not only not about piranhas (they are onscreen for maybe 15 seconds), it is not about much at all. Count yourself among the fortunate if you can somehow manage to fall asleep during this stinker. This film is truly amazing in its utter inability to either entertain or excite. Do not waste your time on this red herring, red herring.
Lacking a strong balance between piranha and birds!
A. Gyurisin | Wet, Wild, Wonderful Virginia | 09/06/2004
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Desperately seeking diamonds, a band of adventurers discover that life in the wild is not all fun and games. After traveling throughout the land on motorcycles and seeing several scenes of birds, they stop at a local pub to drink heavily and absorb the culture. As they become engulfed into the culture and the land, they gather the aid of a hunter named Caribe that has not only mastered a bike race, but also harbors a darker plan. When they arrive to their destination the sight of diamonds turns to dust as these friends are forced to play prey and predator with an evil that wears a familiar face.
William Gibson directs this poorly acted, scripted, and pause-ridden suspense thriller that is easily lost in the shuffle of modern day cinema. The low budget is very obvious as Gibson riddles the film with overlapping scenes of birds, birds, and more birds to fill time. We are even shown unending scenes of diamond mining and bike racing, leaving nothing to develop characters or story. We are even shorted on the title of this film as there are only two mentions of the flesh eating fish.
Back-stories are underdeveloped leaving us a lack of emotion for the main characters and building an emotionless climax that only gave us hope that the film was over. Nothing was worth saving in this film, unless you enjoy studying birds from different countries (outside of the one that the film takes place). Gibson missed the entire focus of this film and the final result reminds us of a preschooler's first collage where there were tons of images, massive amounts of glue, and no real structure.
Grade: * out of ****"
A National Geographic Special For Psychotics...
Bindy Sue FrÝnkŁnschtein | under the rubble | 09/12/2006
(3 out of 5 stars)
"A photographer and her brother go to Venezuela on a quest to see one of the last undisturbed places on earth. Their guide takes them deep into the rainforests, where they meet up w/ Caribé (William "Invasion Of The Bee-Girls" Smith), whose name actually means piranha! Caribé acts like a total nut from the start, but our heroes ignore his weirdness and let him take them even further into the middle of nowhere! Along the way, Caribé shoots just about any animal in his path, putting the photographer gal's nerves on edge since she abhores guns and violence. While watching this unfold, I kept yelling at the screen, "Why are you idiots following this maniac?!" Well, my cries went unheeded, as the ding-a-lings went right on following! In true early 70s fashion, the final 20 minutes hold most (in this case ALL) of the suspense. Caribé reveals his true eeevil self. "DUH!", I screamed at my television! Anyway, I'd recommend hitting the old FF button during the wilderness and diamond mining footage, leaving a nice little 45 minute movie..."