Search - The Slaughterhouse Massacre on DVD

SUckle

Micheal Hunt | Hellbourne | 07/11/2005

(1 out of 5 stars)

"This films Australian release title is "Sickle"...but I call it SUCKle. I had trouble finding it on IMDB to find out its US title. It's not surprising when no one who has seen this would bother to care.

The plot is about a group of unsupervised misfit teenagers who go to a slaughterhouse where ten years ago a guy named Sickle killed someone and was killed in return. The kids go up there ten years later and do a magic chant and bring him back and then he starts stalking them in a building they cant escape from.

This movie sucks to high heaven. I was bored stupid from the beginning to the end. The idea for the thing could have worked, but EVERYTHING about this movie was done wrong. The acting is terrible, the lighting is pathetic, the score doesn't work, the sound department should realise a car backing up slowly on gravel does not make a skidding/spinning/burnout noise and the editing draws out the longest most boring scenes imaginable and inserts absolute crap for no reason that just makes this thing seem to go forever and ever getting more boring by the minute.

The only people I would recommend this DVD to would be to film makers who wanna see an example of how NOT to make a movie. Overall there is not one single thing in this entire film that I can say anything positive about. The worst thing in the entire movie is a lesbian scene at a party that goes for about 5 minutes that has absolutely no tie in, relative, or anything to do with the plot. It's just a party where 2 dikes start making out and stripping, in the middle of the main room at a party! It goes from a bad Z-grade horror movie to a C-grade porno scene then back to a bad movie. PLEASE, done think it would be interesting to see, it's not... it doesn't match the film at all. It is easy to tell this was the directors first movie, and it shows how much they need to learn about editing, cutting things down, and improving the scene because it's just too long and boring and it needs more gore then just showing shadows.

This movie is terrible, you'd have to be seriously f****d in the head or have a seriously low I.Q to enjoy this movie. Everything is bad about this film. Ever category there is in making a movie is done badly with this film that tries too hard to be a Friday The 13th / Scream / I know what you did last summer combination that does not come off as anything but a try-hard rip off.

My advice to whoever put this thing together... figure out what the cutting room floor is about, pick up the pace and you might have got a half star from me. I only give it a 1 star here 'cause Amazon doesn't give an option for -10 stars.

This is the worst film of 2005.
Rent it if you must, but don't say I didn't warn you...and for the love of Pete, DONT BUY IT.... it's not even laughable at when watching it's so bad."

Bad bad bad bad bad.

The Scream Queen | Toronto, ON Canada | 07/01/2005

(1 out of 5 stars)

"This doesn't even deserve 1 star.

There is no good reason for this movie to exist. The title is deceptive - it actually sounded decent, and well, gory.

At no time in this movie was there a massacre. There was a bad guy, supposedly dead, who looked kinda like Brad Dourif with rubber teeth and rosacea (which, I believe, was supposed to be thermal burns). He kills a few people. Well, we see a meat hook, and a machete. We don't see them actually strike or spear anyone, we just see a few drops of theatre blood after the fact. Oh, and we know the killer is near, because all of a sudden someone plugs in a red light. And plays a thump-thump thump-thump soundtrack.

The Slaughterhouse Massacre must be horrorporn for HBO. At any given moment there are leggy blondes (and redheads, and brunettes) naked and writhing around, simulating sex, and engaging in lesbian kissing scenes. But if that sounds like an endorsement, it isn't. If I rented this to get off to, I would be very disappointed.

I have all the usual B movie complaints - corny dialogue, pathetic acting, crappy effects and shoddy cinematography... it's all there. The movie has no redeeming value even as a B movie. If Uwe Boll had to work with a smaller budget, this is what you would get.

"

HILARIOUS.

L. Goodrich | Topeka, KS | 02/11/2009

(5 out of 5 stars)

"This movie is so funny. It is so badly made, so badly written. If you want a good laugh, definitely watch it. Personally, I love how one of the character's names is "Stoner". Obviously well-thought through."

Good Start, but Goes Downhill Fast

Zephyr | USA | 08/24/2006

(2 out of 5 stars)

"This movie starts out looking like a half-way decent, campy 80's style slasher flick, but it quickly degenerates into a very silly, not-so-scary yawn-a-thon. I give it two stars just because I think the first five minutes were pretty good (all things considered). But the villian is boring and the main characters aren't anybody you'll miss if they get killed. In fact, you'll probably find yourself cheering."