Search - The Cottage on DVD

Enjoy some blood clottage at The Cottage!

D. Wilson | NY by way of Cali | 05/26/2008

(4 out of 5 stars)

"With titles like Shaun Of The Dead, Severence, Evil Aliens, and Botched being sparkling examples of the horror/comedy genre AND all coming to us from Great Britain, it should come as no real surprise that The Cottage fits in so well with the rest of those films. Enter polar-opposites(and brothers) David and Peter; stuck in the middle of nowhere and involved in a kidnapping gone awry that includes a captive that refuses to go quietly, a pair of Asian assasins, an obese partner in crime that can do little right(my favorite character too), bizarre townsfolk(with a guest spot by Pinhead himself, Doug Bradley!), and of course, when things seem like they can't get any worse, a demented and deformed maniac! Now for the kind of dry humor and wit used here, you need a great cast, and Andy Serkis(The Prestige, King Kong) and Reece Shearsmith(Shaun Of The Dead, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy) as the lead protagonists are fantastic... whether it's bouncing quips off of eachother, or interacting with the rest of the ecclectic characters that they run into throughout the night. As far as deformed killers go, "the farmer" is a definite keeper! He's the same basic mold as a hundred gruesome, semi-retarded, cruel and twisted(with canibalistic urges) madmen that horror fans have come to expect... but he looks and acts the part perfectly, and actually features the best looking(and by that I mean ugliest) clump of flesh for a head that I've seen in quite awhile! The direction is excellent and I really enjoyed the musical score(which sounds like it was cut for a Tim Burton film rather than this); in the end, I'd even go as far as to say this is my favorite of all the aforementioned films listed at the top of the review... bold statement I know, but give it a chance and see what you think(at the worst you'll get a few laughs and a decent helping of grue). As a bonus, if you do dig the film as much as I do, the DVD features a ton of quality deleted scenes and outtakes(some so good that it makes you wonder why they were removed?) that are more than worth seeing. *VIEWERS ATTENTION* Make sure and wait until the credits finish rolling before turning the movie off... there's a nice added surprise at the very end."

Brilliant dark comedy that isn't afraid to spill some blood

Daniel Jolley | Shelby, North Carolina USA | 05/12/2008

(5 out of 5 stars)

"From the shores of the UK comes yet another hilariously gruesome horror comedy that more than takes the piss out of anything Hollywood could ever come up with. That being said, though, the old cliché does apply: you'll either love it or hate it. Personally, I thought it was bloody brilliant, especially in the way it kept the dark comedy coming even after it shifts from "bumbling criminal comedy" to "disfigured madman slasher" mode. Andy Serkis is just fantastic as the heavy whose simple kidnapping plan goes horribly, horribly wrong thanks to his incompetent partners. Reece Shearsmith plays the whiny wanker to the hilt, Steven O'Donnell chips in mightily as a complete idiot, and Jennifer Ellison makes each of her scenes memorable, largely by way of her liberal use of adult language (some complain about her over-use of the "c-word," but it's not like this movie is being marketed to children, for Pete's sake). The legendary Doug Bradley also appears (all too briefly), and that's a pretty big deal to horror aficionados like myself. As for Paul Andrew Williams, let me just say that he is a great writer/director; this may only be his second feature-length film, but I would say he's already graduated from "up and coming" to the big time.

You would think the hardest part of any kidnapping would be the actual kidnapping itself, but that's already been done as The Cottage opens its doors to the audience. In this case, though, the actual kidnapping is the only thing the kidnappers manage to get done properly (or at all). Poor David (Andy Serkis) finds his plans ruined time and time again by his partner - and brother - Peter (Reece Shearsmith). Peter, unlike his brother, just isn't cut out for a life of crime, as he proves time and again. The man is deathly afraid of moths, for heaven's sake, so he's no match at all for Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) once she wakes up. The daughter of some kind of local goon, she's spit-in-your-eye and cuss-you-out tough. Once she starts holding forth in that grating Cockney accent of hers, it soon becomes clear why the kidnappers are only asking one hundred thousand pounds for her return. She strikes me as a sort of Cockney Britney Spears.

I won't go in to the laundry list of stupid mistakes that doom the kidnapping plot, but each one of them makes for great comedy. The actors work really well together, showing great comedic timing throughout, thanks in no small part to Serkis' ability to play the heavy in such a convincing manner. Much of it may be predictable, but it's still funny. Then, about midway through the film, some viewers might be wont to say that they went to a dark comedy and a horror movie broke out. The Cottage may well lose some of its audience here, as it does take its mutilation and murder seriously (in other words, there will be blood and gore), but this horror fan really ate it up. Even underneath all of the blood and body parts, the comedic elements are still there; heck, there's even a poignant little moment of brotherly bonding at one point. Of course, you've also got the proverbial dash of bitter irony thrown in for good measure, and a fairly successful attempt by writer/director Paul Andrew Williams to "leave `em laughin.'"

Some might say that The Cottage doesn't know whether it wants to be a comedy or a slasher. Why can't it be both? I would say this film knows very well what it wants to be and is very comfortable bridging the two very different genres, and that - plus the witty dialogue, great acting, and satisfying amounts of blood and gore - is what allows it to pull the whole thing off with such great élan. I had a ball watching this movie."

A New Classic

Dayna Newman | Tampa | 05/25/2008

(4 out of 5 stars)

"The Cottage is a movie you will either love or hate.. I Loved it..
I'm a die hard slasher fan and of course I love blood and gore,but this movie was so funny and entertaining it didn't bother me that the killing didn't start untill the last half of the movie I still loved it.
It builds great character development and the main characters two bumbling brothers"Steven and David" are hilarious in the fact that everything they do goes wrong because they are just born losers.
Their kidnap plot goes wrong in every possible way
except they do get the kipnapee "Tracey" to the holding spot..a cottage that is "let's say in the wrong neighborhood"..
when Tracey escapes after delivering much physical abuse to the weaker and more meek of the brothers she runs to a nearby farm, that's when that slasher element kicks in..
A terribly disfigured farmer is on the loose and he not in a good mood..although the comedy elements go on through the entire film, the gore is very well done and plentiful.
It's hilarious to watch Tracey go up against the killer farmer with her tough as nails attitude.
I think this will become a classic.
I highly reccomend it."

Home Sweet Horror

Captain Insanity | NY | 07/11/2008

(5 out of 5 stars)

"Positively excellent!!!!
Let me reiderate,
This movie is magnificent!!
One of the best slasher/comedies in existence!!!

1 brother enlists the help of his bumbling sibling
to help him kidnap the tough-as-nails daughter of a local mob-boss.
They bring her back to an abandoned farm,
where everything goes dreadfully arye.

The settings are spooky,
Nothing says horror like a seemingly abandoned farm.
The characters are all lovable, and quite unforgetable,
every last one of them.
The 2 brothers are great together;
as the headstrong, calculative sibling,
and his brother the whipped, nervous-wreck.
Their abductee is a wise-cracking pistol,
who doesn't take guff from no one.
She really gets the laughs bursting from your chest,
as she single-handedly takes on both her abductors.
Their inside-man is complete dolt, a moron of hilarious proportions.
And the the local villagers are unexplainably bizarre.
The laughs are subtle, but consitent,
the gore is plentifully terrific,
and the scares are of the jump-out-of-your-seat variety.
I gotta warn you,
halfway through, this bothched kidnapping tale does a complete 180,
slaps you in the face with a cold shovel,
and becomes an old-school slasher movie,
when the inhabitant of the farm returns unannounced
to find a host of intruders on his farm.
And "Old McDonald" he ain't
If you loved flix like,
Shaun of the Dead, Bothced, Hatchet, Behind the Mask, or Severance,
get this flick immediately.
You will not be disappointed.
Watch the trailer and see if I'm lying to you.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Old McDonald had a farm........but he traded it for an abattoir."