What? "Hercules Moons the Men?" What?
The Queen of Noirs | Santa Clara, CA USA | 06/28/2007
(3 out of 5 stars)
"So. We have a mythologically confused society run by a cruel but beautiful queen. She has joined forces with the Moon Man (fell to earth, made the mountain crumble and spew lava, etc etc). He has promised her that she will join him in ruling the world, but only after she tosses a bunch of people into the blue-light hole in the side of the mountain. What he really wants is her beautiful blonde half-sister, who is to provide some kind of a blood transfusion to wake up the dead/sleeping moon princess who he brought with him to Earth. Now wait a minute. I see a three way developing. I'm not sure she is going to want to share absolute power over all the world with his moll! Anyway, the people rebel against being tossed into the blue-light disco so they call Hercules. Now all joking aside, "Alan Steel" is a great Hercules. He is actually warm and engaging rather than the wooden (woody?) porn star that Steve Reeves was. I mean, in the fake love scene with the beautiful wicked queen he actually exudes chemistry! Really!
Anyway, there's a lot going on, many shots of "Alan Steel"s bulging biceps, running through sand storms, and the absolutely hilarious rock men. "You rock!" my spousy shouted out. Actually, it was kind of scary when the rock men crushed the queen, but never mind.
Aaron the 7-year-old critic raved: Two sticky thumbs up. He liked it so much that he has requested "Hercules and the Amazon Women" for our next movie night. Recommended!