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D. Roberts | Battle Creek, Michigan United States | 02/22/2004
(2 out of 5 stars)
"Jurgen Prochnow, best known for playing the captain of a German submarine in the classic DAS BOAT, once more demonstrates his prowess in fulfilling the role of a sailor. This time, however, he portrays a washed-up sailor, and the dangers that lurk are far more insidious than the depth charges hurled at him in DAS BOAT.This time around, he is an average-Joe who is hired by two gorgeous women to give them a ride on his schooner. It's quite a long ride - about a month or more. The 2 women are played by Elizabeth Hurley & Patsy Kensit.So, you say, sounds like every man's fantasy, right? To be out to sea with two lovely women all to himself - seems like a pretty good deal. Only one catch: both of them turn out to be borderline crazy. Ultimately, there is but one reason to see this movie, and that's to see Kensit & Hurley sport an assortment of bikinis, halter tops, evening gowns & other sexy summmer clothes. If you're disinterested in these things, you'll likely be disinterested in watching this film. [The storyline isn't very good, nor is it particularly intriguing]The film would have been better had it been saturated with nudity, but sadly it's not. It appeared a few times that it was going in that direction, but the movie always seemed to pull back from the threshold at the last moment. Hence, if the fantasy of 2 women on a boat without land in sight is enough to keep your attention for a few hours, this one might be worth a look. If not, you're better of staying on shore."
The cut just doesn't make it.
D. Roberts | 12/18/2001
(2 out of 5 stars)
"Wanna make a low-budget movie and make a decent gross for your efforts? If you are not Roman Polanski and you cannot top Knife in the Water for its psychological dynamics and "who gets the girl" tension of two men on a boat with only one woman, then the best strategy is to resort to two women and one man. The dynamics can be just as interesting, if you have an implicit lesbian relationship and one of the gals strays to bunk down the guy. Jealousy rears its bitchy little head for the odd-girl out and this leads to all sorts of plot possibilities as well as an unexpected denoument.
What makes the ending of Kill Cruise really unexpected is that the film has had all the interesting sex scenes cut ouf of it so that the homicidal finale comes as a totally unbelievable surprise. If anyone will release the uncut version, complete with a lesbian sex scene between Hurley and Kensit, then the ending will make a lot more sense. Fat chance. The biggest unwritten rule in Hollywood is that once some actress makes it big, anything that she did early in her career that involves nudity and sex, much less Sapphic sex, is supressed for release whenever possible. What you have left, then, with Kill Cruise, is a love-hate triangle with the dynamics so implicit as to be uninterpretable and a decent acting job by Jurgen Prochnow. Don't bother; rent Knife in the Water instead."
A suspense thriller that lacks suspense
Darren Harrison | Washington D.C. | 12/13/2004
(3 out of 5 stars)
"Despite the fact that my initial interest in this DVD was the opportunity to see Patsy Kensit, I actually found Jurgen Prochnow and Elizabeth Hurley to be far more entertaining as (respectfully) the skipper of a private yacht and a passenger desperately trying to reach the Bahama's. Although her role is pivotal to the plot, Kensit plays her part as a whiney, insecure sidekick to Hurley's. Her character really only seems to serve as a catalyst to engender a bond between Prochnow's skipper and Hurley's flamboyant passenger in addition to adding some sense of reason to a twist at the end that has me still scratching my head. This movie was marketed as another trip into "Deep Calm" waters but in actual fact the expected confrontation that the movie seems to be inevitably steering towards never occurs, this probably greatly contributed to the lackluster performance of the movie but for me the picture took more interesting turns into examining some really warped human behavior and building distrust between the three people stuck on a small boat together for four weeks. Prochnow plays a washed out sailor who, after a tragic event at sea, has not had the courage to leave port for months. Following an intoxicated meeting with two female entertainers (Kensit and Hurley) he subsequently finds out that he has agreed to take the two carefree women on a four week sail to the Bahama's. What follows is a roller coaster of human emotion, suspense, sex (nudity from Hurley) and confusion. The movie however never seems to find its niche though and its twist is underwhelming and unsatisfying. So much more should have been delivered, especially with such an attractive cast, but the screen time and talent seems wasted. Perhaps this is the reason this movie has been marketed under so many titles. Its original German title was `Der Skipper', but its also been named `The Storm.'"
Very slow, but strangely fascinating.
jddunn2 | Denver, CO United States | 04/11/2002
(2 out of 5 stars)
"This one doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's still somewhat fun. Hurley and Kensit, on a larth, go off on a boat with drunken sailor Prochnow. Prochnow has a sort of shady past so there is a little bit of tension as sexual tension begins to develop between he and Hurley. Kensit seems jealous, although whether it's for Prochnow or Hurley we're never really sure.I don't mind not knowing what's going on, but I wish the filmmakers did. Twists seem to come out of nowhere with no rhyme or reason. At first, both women seem to view the skipper as a lesser being, a plaything for their amusement. Then Kensit acts like a spoiled brat for no adequately explained reason. The final twist comes out of left field. Sure, I was surprised, but if a big squid would have popped up in the last scene and ate the ship I would be surprised too. It doesn't mean it's a good ending. The mysterious coda is the only reason to recommend this other than T & A. Days later I found myself wondering exactly what did happen. I guess they deserve points for that.The DVD is pretty rare and cheap (in presentation). If you like Dead Calm, but are sick of watching it, get this. You might be pleasantly surprised."
Just Kill Me Now
jeddo | Houston, TX USA | 01/17/2001
(1 out of 5 stars)
"This was not a very good movie. I had to sheepishly explain to my wife why we had just wasted two hours of our valuable time. I had read some reviews that indicated that this movie was actually worth watching.Nothing could be farther from the truth! This movie was dry and boring the entire way through. And the suprise twist? An alien encounter would have made more sense.And the ending... If a story has to finish with a paragraph explaining or expounding the ending, then there is definitely something wrong. Unless a story is a true story or added for humor, beware of movies that end with a paragraph on the screen. It means that even the writer didn't like the screenplay.The only redeeming factor in this movie is that you get to see Elizabeth Hurley's chest, albeit from the side only.Anybody want to buy a slightly used copy?"