Edward Garea | Branchville, New Jersey United States | 12/12/2001
(5 out of 5 stars)
"The current wisdom among bad movie buffs is that Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is the worst movie ever made. Believe me, it's not. And if you don't believe me, then just watch this one. Try it without the MST gang and see if you think "Plan 9" is worse. "Manos," according to film critic Michael Weldon, was written, produced, directed by its 'star' Hal B. Warren, a fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas. The plot, as such, concerns Warren and his family, who become lost while on vacation. They stop at a strange house to ask directions and are met by the weird servant Torgo, who takes them prisoner and helps to make the next 90 minutes only seem like 8 hours.Even the MST gang had trouble with this one, as most of the good lines and ripostes are in the first half. One can actually feel this movie sucking the life out of the crew. At the end even Dr. Forrester believes he may have went too far. But one redeeming thing came out of this -- the addition of Torgo the pizza delivery man (played by Mike Nelson) to the list of characters that inhabit Deep 13.The only other caveat I can add is that this movie is for those seasoned MSTies only. If you are new to the MST experience, I would recommend "The Beginning of the End," or "I Accuse My Parents" to get you up to speed before tackling this one."
Want the lowdown on all 7 MST3k DVDs? Read This
Brien Malone | Phoenix, AZ | 12/17/2001
(4 out of 5 stars)
"All the MST3K DVDs are worthwhile for the episodes they contain. One rant, however... I do wish Rhino would introduce some level of consistency to the disc production. I get the feeling all of the MST DVDs were made in someone's dorm room.
Here is a tech DVD breakdown: [Manos]: Season 4 Episode 24 (Joel) 125 mins including "Hired: part 2" short:
· Disc Label: Purple Satellite of Love graphic
· Menu System: 3 choices - Play Movie, Scene Index, Poopie (annoying Manos music loop)
· Special Features: Poopie - hilarious MST3K outtakes [Eegah]: Season 5 Episode 6 (Joel) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Eegah color movie photo graphic
· Menu System: Professional but half done - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop is ¾ of Joel's theme)
· Special Features: List of titles on VHS & DVD - There are the makings of forward and back buttons here but they don't work. All 6 pages just transition through each other slowly. Rhino website address (why this is listed as a feature I don't know.) Uncut version. [Mitchell]: Season 5 Episode 12 (Joel's Final Episode/Mike) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap silver silhouette
· Menu System: Cheap flying saucer graphic buttons with semi-annoying music loop from Mitchell - Play Movie, Play Trailer, Scene Index
· Special Features: Original theatrical trailer for Mitchell. [The Brain That Wouldn't Die]: Season 5 Episode 13 (Mike) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Double sided disc. (Why? The same features fit on one side with Eegah)
· Menu System: Professional but half done - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (music loop is from the movie and moderately annoying)
· Special Features: List of titles on VHS & DVD - There are the makings of forward and back buttons here but they don't work. All 6 pages just transition through each other slowly. Rhino website address. Uncut version on second side. [Wild World of Batwoman]: Season 5 Episode 15 (Mike) 72 mins + "Cheating" short 20 min:
· Disc Label: Cheap blue with flying saucers (Joel's face errantly graces the box. Mike is the lead in this episode)
· Menu System: Professional - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop Is ¾ of Joel's theme... which is strange as this is Mike's episode)
· Special Features: Lists 3 other MST DVD titles. Click on titles to see a clip from each. Very Nice! Rhino Website. Uncut Version. [The Beginning of The End] Season 5 Episode 17 (Mike) 72 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap blue with flying saucers
· Menu System: Professional - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop Is ¾ of Joel's theme - again, this is Mike's episode)
· Special Features: Lists 3 other MST DVD titles. Click on titles to see a clip from each. Very Nice! Rhino Website. Uncut Version. [Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie] 1996 - 72 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap silver silhouette
· Menu System: None - chapter selection only
Notes: This movie is really hard to find and considered a collector's item. The only difference between the movie and a TV episode are a precious few amped up special effects, makeup and they hired a real actor to play in one of the skits (which I feel is a tragic mistake). It is not worth the (...) that it is going for in Amazon's Used section unless you're a diehard."
Tom Cruise IS Dr John, or John Brown . . . or something . .
email@example.com | oHIo | 04/11/1999
(5 out of 5 stars)
""Cave Dwellers". "Wild Rebels". "Plan 9 from Outer Space". "Bride of the Monster". "Body Rock". "Howard the Duck". Any one of the "Gamera" series. People, as a guy who finds subtle humor and beauty in bad movies, I've seen the worst of them. . . .or so I thought. I must have been out of town that day, as during the "Joel years" I was a regular watcher, so that could be the only reason I missed "Manos: Hands of Fate" the first time out. I just got to say this: "Manos" makes the films listed above look like AFI 100 candidates. I mean . . My GOD, this movie is HORRID beyond horrid. If you're looking for a description of how it takes cinema to a new abyssmal low . . . well, here goes: Imagine getting a continually out of focus Handy 8 camera from the 60's, get 6 of your best friends (make ABSOLUTE sure they can't act), go to a local bar and pick the first 6 women you see and dress them in K-mart nightgowns, go to a desolate beach with a cottage in Ohio somewhere with a script you've written in one hour (and no more) and start filming away. Believe me, you couldn't do any worse. Every single solitary thing about this endurance test will make your brain start to atrophy. The commentary from Joel and the 'bots is top notch, but you know you have to feel sorry for the poor chaps when the SCIENTISTS apologize for "Manos". The opening edu-short "Hired" (light years better than "Manos", and that ain't saying much), put out by Chevrolet in the 50's, is hilarious as an added bonus. The "Manos" experience has to be seen to be believed. Buy this cobalt bomb of a movie, throw "Manos" parties and invite your enemies. You'll be glad you did."
The Film that Fertilizer made. How appropriate!
firstname.lastname@example.org | 08/08/1999
(5 out of 5 stars)
""MANOS: the hands of fate" was conceived by Harold Warren, a Texas fertilizer mogul, apparently after a long day of shoveling a big pile of...well, you know, FERTILIZER. "Manos" is probably the worst movie ever made which is good news for MST3K fans because it's also probably the best MST3K episode ever! "Manos" is the kind of movie that isn't released by Hollywood, it escapes! I won't bother trying explain the plot, because there is none. Just suffice to say that some stupid, inept people behave foolishly, repeat themselves alot, repeat themselves alot and end up at the hands of the wobbly 'Torgo' and his 'Master', basically victims of their own bottomless stupidity. All filmed in fabulous "HAZE-VISION". Stars nobody, look for producer Hal "Bag-of-Hammers" Warren as the clueless dad. There's also a short before the feature, "HIRED pt.2", the second half of a Chevrolet sales training film from the 50's. (Don't worry if you haven't seen part 1, the really important plot points are in part 2!) BUY IT! ENJOY! ACCEPT THE PAIN!"
The Ecstasy Became Too Much
Edward Roberts | Acworth, Ga United States | 09/24/2004
(5 out of 5 stars)
"I have my MST3K membership badge, and when the show was still on Comedy Central, I would often sleep in/watch MST3K on Saturday mornings. I had seen "Sidehackers", "Master Ninja"'s I and II, "Mitchell", and I had laughed. Yet, I had not seen "Manos: The Hands of Fate". I had heard the whispered legends, but I did not believe them. For I had seen "The Brain Wouldn't Die". Nothing could shake me. Then... Then... I saw it.
I warn you, gentle reader. This movie is for the strong of stomach. From Torgo who did not learn how to wear his Depends undergarments to the "Master" who could control the wheels of fate but chose the wrong artist for his self-portrait, I was transported into a world where pretentiousness meets imcompetence and all known rules of the universe slip into irrelevance.
I survived twenty-seven minutes and twenty seconds until I was forced to pause the movie for a full ten minutes to calm myself. The ecstasty of laughter had turned to pain, and "Manos: The Hands of Fate" clutched me more firmly than Torgo attempted to clutch the "protagonist"'s wife. Yet I carried on, but the ecstasy overcame my abillity to reason many more times to the point that two minutes of movie triggered ten minutes of hysteria at the point when the "Hands of Fate" wrung the life from poor Torgo. Afterwards, I was left numb, drunk. I could not move, and I found myself whispering: "The horror.".
So, I recommend this movie, but be warned, Manos is graduate-level MST3K. I advise those watching to prepare for what cannot be prepared for. "