SPADER 4 LIFE
Donkey Dick | Blubber Land | 07/23/2004
(4 out of 5 stars)
"Simply put, this movie rules. You've got James Spader. You've got Lori Laughlin. You've got Sean S. Cunningham directing, and he not only produced HOUSE IV: HOME DEADLY HOME, he also produced LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and directed some movie called FRIDAY THE 13TH.
But the kicker, and the reason I really sought it out, is novelist Harry Crews' involvement. After some research, I've found it difficult to determine exactly how much he had to do with the script. He's not credited, but is thanked in the end credits. Stephen Gyllenhaal and Brian Taggart get screenwriter nods, but in an old Crews interview, he mentions, "I wrote this script called THE NEW KIDS" (but that's all there is of the interview, the snippet posted on his website). So who knows. Actually, I'm sure there's someone fatter and uglier than me out there who knows, and assuming the person surely doesn't have anything better to do, they should contact me with more information.
THE NEW KIDS has nothing to do with Crews novels like "A Feast of Snakes" or "Car" or "The Knockout Artist," all humorously grotesque (sometimes stomach-churning) portraits of bizarro Southern life, which makes his direct involvement even more suspect. But it is a better-than-expected genre picture. Just look at what you get!
1) James Spader in speedo underwear.
2) James Spader doing a really bad, on-again-off-again Southern accent.
3) James Spader snorting cocaine in his van while his gang of cretins run around outside, dousing Lori Laughlin with lighter fluid and taunting her with lit matches in an attempt to get her to submit to a good, Southern-style gang rape.
4) Some dude named Shannon who plays a character named Loren.
5) Death by Ferris wheel.
6) Death by bumper cars.
7) Death by house of mirrors (in a super-lame LADY FROM SHANGHAI "homage").
8) Death by roller coaster.
9) A Lori Laughlin shower scene where you can clearly see, numerous times, her flesh-colored bikini hiding her wares from the filmmakers.
10) Eric Stoltz getting called "faggot."
Still not convinced? Well, there's nothing more I can do. If you require a plot description, you're already on the internet, so why don't you take some initiative?"
dee slankster | Mooringsport,Louisiana | 01/21/2002
(4 out of 5 stars)
"I love this movie, simply because it shows how kids can overcome the many obstacles of life when they stick together.I cried in the beginnig and was frustrated by the middle and cheering by the end.The whole movie kept me on the edge of my seat.I really expected to see a second chapter to this movie.This movie is a must for my library."
"New Kids" disapoints old viewer
dee slankster | 08/05/2000
(3 out of 5 stars)
"well, i remember seeing this horror flick when i was about twelve on tv and thought it was a really cool movie. but, unfortunately, i couldn't find it anywhere till finally amazon delivered the goods to me. as the old saying goes, memory is a selection of images for which we think are accurate, but not quite the truth. this film fits that description. Lori Loughlin and Shannon Presby are two recently orphaned young kids who move down to Florida with their aunt and uncle and look to start over again. but, as always a cliche in horror films, their hopes for a new beginning by the local bullies led by James Spader who just decide to terrorize the kids up until a bloody showdown which is both predictable and a bit cheesy. it might have faired better with a better writer at the helm and not such a quick paced ending. as a loyal moviegoer and film addict, i was quite saddened, the good thing about the film was the good performance by shannon presby and lori loughlin. other than that, this is a b-film all the way."
Fun and Fantastic Trip Back To The 80's
Rochelle D. Adkins | Cedar Falls, IA United States | 01/25/2006
(5 out of 5 stars)
"I can't believe I bought a cheap VHS of this movie only to find out they now have it on DVD. I'm buying it anyway.
I think the acting is fantastic and the thrills will keep you on the edge of your seat. It's also fun to see James Spader, Eric Stoltz and Lori Laughlin in their younger years! I find Shannon Presby hot now that I'm older.
This movie always makes me want to work! I can't imagine why! The song "Stand Up" is awesome (wish I had it on CD). But the transitional music between the scenes is bad - though appropriate for 1985 when the movie was made.
It's a must see!"