"I want to thank the reviewers here who steered me to TROLL 2! I thought that the enthusiasm about its hilarious awfulness had to be exaggerated, but based on the general consensus that this is one you have to see to believe, I risked $9.99 and took a chance.
Oh, what I also would give to hear a commentary track by the director and cast! Their brains should be put in glass jars and displayed in a medical museum somewhere upon their deaths! This is one for the ages. If you haven't seen it, remember the way RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK starts off on a high of adventure with that cave escape and then keeps trying to top it? Well, TROLL 2 starts out atop the Mt. Everest of stupidity and then miraculously keeps upping the stakes. It's the zenith of moron creativity! When you're holding your sides for the tenth time from laughing and think to yourself the "actors" can't possibly deliver another so-called line of dialogue in a way that's any more disjointedly absurd yet painfully sincere to top the last one, THEY DO IT! Talk about alternative reality! The CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI looks like an episode of THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW next to this. Just a small sampling of my favorite high points:
Grandpa Seth's unintentional and uncanny ability to sound - whenever he tries to pass on an eerie warning to his grandson - like a pervert! Teenage Holly's scary-hip dance moves (for wooden acting she makes Brooke Shields in THE BLUE LAGOON look like a piker)! The classic early conversation between the father and mother in which they discuss why and how they are trading houses with a strange farm family they don't know (David Mamet, eat your heart out)! The subtle subtext choice of the actress playing the mother to choose to read all her lines with a "damnit-I-forgot-to-take-my-anti-depressant-medication-again-today" delivery. The wacky pack of Holly's boyfriend and his friends - all of whom seem to have the brains of emotionally immature six-year-olds transplanted into their sixteen-year-old bodies (be sure to look for the hilarious sharing-the-same-bed quick cut-away shot too)! The family's ingeniously logical plan to starve themselves for days on end to punish young Joshua for peeing on their dinner in order to save their lives (don't ask)! The line that's right up there with "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn" and "Louie, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship" , , , "You're a genius, big sister!"
As another reviewer said, a thousand reviews can't begin to scratch the surface as to how side-splittingly bad this movie is. I say the best joke we as a planet could ever play is, the next deep-space probe we send out a la Voyager to announce our existence, we only include a copy of TROLL 2 as an example of what human beings and life on earth are really like!"
Troll 2: The Stupidest Sequel Ever!
Robert I. Hedges | 02/13/2004
(4 out of 5 stars)
"This cinematic duo makes for great entertainment for different reasons. "Troll", made in 1986, is a story of troll infestation in an urban apartment building revolving around a family who has just moved in. This is a fun, yet campy, little movie with a couple of surprises that, while not totally unexpected, are still generally well done. The supporting cast in this film is wonderful, with special mentions going to Sonny Bono playing a hip swinging single (he has wonderful dialogue), Julia Louis-Dreyfus in an early role, and Gary Sandy (Andy Travis from "WKRP") as an amusing former Marine. The film is a typical mid-eighties PG-13 shocker, with no real gore, but a little excess grossness. Overall, for its genre, a good flick and fun to watch. The real treasure of the DVD, though, is, by far, "Troll 2", which actually does not involve trolls, but goblins. This movie is easily the worst sequel in memory. It has an awful, incoherent script, completely moronic `plot', terrible acting, and characters actually made of cliches. This film is a treasure, and is like watching the modern invocation of Ed Wood, the muse of bad movies. Special bonus points for the secret weapon employed against the goblins! Bad movie lovers do not miss this one! Four stars overall: "Troll" gets three stars for being an average scary movie; "Troll 2" easily earns five stars for incredible stupidity on every level. Don't miss it!"
You'd be stupid NOT to buy this!!!
Robert I. Hedges | 03/03/2004
(5 out of 5 stars)
"John Carl Buechler's Troll 2 may be one of the finest movies of the early 90's. Ah who are we kidding, it's one of the finest movies EVER!The film starts out with a family trading houses with another random family that they have never met but have agreed to trade houses with. This is, of course, a completely believable premise, as people in real life do this all the time. At least they do where I come from!The antagonists of the movie are goblins, and why shouldn't they be? Everyone knows when you buy a movie named Troll 2 you don't actually expect to see any TROLLS or anything. Anyway, these goblins (and believe me, you wouldn't want to run into one of these nasty little buggers in a dark alley, the makeup/special effects team really went all out here) are turning the quiet redneck town of Nilbog (incase you didn't notice, that spells GOBLIN backwards - that is an almost infinitely clever name for a town overrun by goblins!!! John Carl Buechler, you are truly a GENIUS!!!) into a race of human/plant hybrids so they can eat them, because all goblins are of course vegetarians. It makes perfect sense!The star of the movie, that kid from Neverending Story, must save his family along with some help from his beloved, dead Grandpa Seth and a bologna sandwich. It's a classic struggle of good vs. evil here folks!If all this isn't enough to convince you to run out and buy at least 5 copies of this piece of cinematic history, there's also a cameo appearance of Sonny Bono. I can' t think of any reason why a rational, sane person wouldn't want to own this!If you've never seen Troll 2, buy it today! Everyone should experience this film, as it is definitely one of the crowning achievements of Western Civilization."
Sing That Song I Like So Much!
Jeffrey Leach | Omaha, NE USA | 11/07/2003
(5 out of 5 stars)
"This DVD is one of those double feature presentations that studios use to bundle together a couple of clunkers in order to make a fast buck. "Troll" is the story of the Potter family and the wacky adventures they experience when they move into a new apartment building. Harry Potter and his wife Anne (played by a spacey Michael Moriarty and Shelley Hack, respectively), along with their two children Wendy and Harry soon discover an odd assortment of characters living in the building, including Sonny Bono as a wild swinger with an extreme dislike for children, Gary Sandy (Andy Travis from "WKRP"!) as a macho ex-marine with a suspicion for book lovers and liberals, and June Lockhart as a mysterious lady living on the top floor of the building. Brad Hall and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, recovering from their disastrous stint on "Saturday Night Live," turn up as a smoochy young couple. It isn't too long before Wendy Potter discovers a troll in the basement of the apartment building, and from that point forward "Troll" is a wild, wacky, and enormously cheesy excursion into fantasyland. It turns out that the troll is trying to recreate a fairy dimension within the confines of the building in order to start a war against humanity. Oh, the madcap wackiness of "Troll"! The scenes with Julia Louis-Dreyfus frolicking with the troll should provide all the convincing you'll need to watch this objet d'art.The real treasure on this disc is the inclusion of "Troll 2." I first saw this movie on video back in 1998 or 1999, and my enthusiasm for the film reached a fever pitch when I learned it would soon arrive on DVD. B movie fans should note that none other than trash director Joe D'Amato directed this tremendously terrible film. "Troll 2" is so bad in EVERY aspect that it ranks as the greatest "worst" movie ever made. People will tell you there are plenty of other films worse than this one, but believe me when I tell you that D'Amato's efforts here trump every other contender. The script, the effects, the acting, the editing; everything is so marvelously, deliriously, deliciously awful that this movie sends me into paroxysms of joy every time I watch it. Viewing "Troll 2" makes you doubt your very conceptions of what a bad film means: did the people who made this film deliberately set out to create a nightmare of these proportions, or was it merely accidental? We'll never know, but every minute of this movie is sheer delight for lovers of yuck cinema. Goodness, where do I start? Well, "Troll 2" tells the story about a family moving to the village of Nilbog where they encounter a town full of goblins (no trolls here, sorry) led by a wacky queen who wishes to turn the visitors into goblin food. That's the plot in a nutshell, and I won't spend more time on it because I really want to discuss other aspects of the film.You haven't lived until you have seen the people playing the characters in this movie. First, the hero of the film is Joshua, performed with screeching abrasiveness by Michael Stephenson. Accompanying Joshua to Nilbog is his dull father Michael, his hilariously wacked out Mom Diana, older sister Holly, her boyfriend Elliot, and the ghost of his grandpa Seth. Folks, you just can't imagine how bad the acting is here! The Mom speaks sentences that make little sense because the emphasis of the words is completely wrong. Holly, played by Connie McFarland, deserves a special place in our hearts with her performance. That dance she does in front of the mirror! Her lines of dialogue delivered with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer! Grandpa Seth is not only a scream; he keeps flashing a sinister smile throughout the film that should creep anyone out. The townspeople of Nilbog also deserve a special mention, especially the guy playing Sheriff Gene Freak (!). His best line: "Otherwise, we'll be forced to kill you violently!" I'm not even going to delve into the weird relationship between Elliot and his friends, or the outrageously over the top performance of Deborah Reed as the Queen of the Goblins. A thousand reviews would fail to convey the depths of badness "Troll 2" plumbs. You need to see it to believe it.The production values here are cosmically appalling. D'Amato regular Laura Gemser did the costume work for this film, and what a job she did. The goblins wear potato sacks and plastic masks that fit so loosely around the actors' heads that you can often see bare skin around the edges. In many scenes of the film, the editing is so poor that people look in the opposite direction of the person they talk to or react to things in completely unnatural ways. On one occasion, the Dad tells the family that there are no farmers on the streets of Nilbog because they are asleep for the evening, and it is broad daylight when he says it. By the way, did anyone else notice Joshua's skateboard magically reappears in his bedroom towards the end of the film? Yep, Ed Wood quality editing here, folks. Who knew we would see such an overtly atrocious picture as late as 1991? "Troll 2" is pure magic and truly deserving of a five star ranking. I absolutely adore MGM for releasing this on DVD with such a good transfer along with a "Troll 2" trailer. What this movie really needs is a commentary track with the actors who played Joshua, Holly, Diana, Michael, Elliot, and Grandpa Seth. Hearing what these guys would say about the film would be a dream come true for this B movie fan, and I would have paid double the price if such a commentary came with the DVD."
Forget Troll. It's all about Troll 2.
Joanne | Illy-nois | 10/23/2003
(5 out of 5 stars)
"while it is a treat to have 2 movies for the price of one, Troll seems more like a freebie to the dvd. it's all about Troll 2.if you're as easily amused as i am by bad acting, a horrible plot, and just plain stupid moviemaking, this is the movie for YOU. it gets better (and dumber) every time you watch it.Troll's plot actually revolves around trolls. Troll 2 revolves around the Waites family (which includes Dad, Mom, big sister Holly, little brother Joshua, and the loveable ghost of the recently-deceased Grandpa Seth) and their encounter with the goblins of Nilbog!yes, you read it right. goblins. not trolls.essentially, it comes down to a fight between the Waites and the Nilbog Goblins (who turn people into plants, because we all know goblins are vegetarians), ending with an all-out ridiculous, idiotic battle between Good and Evil.sure, Troll is worth a watch, because we all know Sonny Bono and that kid from Neverending Story are in high demand, but you'd be getting your moneys worth with just Troll 2. Troll should be a bonus feature, as it will never live up to the stupidity of Troll 2."