Anybody got a silver bullet? Anybody? Please?
Holly Apollyon | The Overlook Hotel | 08/31/2001
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Uhgggh. This movie was just horrible. It begins where a crew of excavators unearths the skeleton of a werewolf in the Arizona desert. The fakest skeleton I've ever seen,loaded up with all kinds of knobby growths and claws.... The skull actually has bone ears growing from it---BONE EARS---I guess just in case you forget that it's a werewolf skeleton. Anyway, all you have to do is get scratched by the skeleton, and you turn into a werewolf!!! Like within twenty minutes. Oh dear God. One of the excavators, this withered, batrachian-looking creep named Yuri, decides, for no reason whatsoever, to run around and scratch people with the skeleton, thus making more werewolves. This scheme elevates him to the status of one of the guest villains from Josie and the Pussycats---and I think that in a fight the Pussycats would take Yuri down in round one.At one point, Yuri drugs a security guard, then, I guess, infects him somehow. So the security guard wakes up, and walks out in the parking lot to his car. Along the way he starts growing hair and fangs, and doesn't even notice. He gets in his car, and drives off, while he continues to transform. Both of his hands stay on the steering wheel, and his driving doesn't seem to suffer AS HE TURNS INTO A WEREWOLF. HE DOES NOT NOTICE HIS OWN FUR-TUFTED CLAWED HANDS AT THE WHEEL! AND HIS HAT STAYS ON HIS HEAD THROUGHOUT THE TRANSFORMATION. I've almost wrecked my car dropping cigarette butts in my lap, and this guy turns into a hairy demon and doesn't even miss a stop sign.As all of this occurs, Yuri is driving behind the guard, watching and grinning gleefully, though he is in a car three hundred yards behind the guard, it's night, and he can see nothing, he's still grinning like he just got lucky with a prom queen. I would have to say, avoid this movie like the plague of lycanthropy, and try to avoid the desert, because evidently that's where all the werewolves are."
I actually sat through this...who am I kidding?
Matthew Mclaughlin | locustville | 11/21/2003
(1 out of 5 stars)
"...my finger was on the fastforward button most of the way. But never fear, I did see all the 'good parts', which I will be sure to list in a moment. So, consider this a review of half the movie. The part I saw was worth half a star, so maybe the rest was worth maybe another half a star.Where to start, where to start? How about my excuse for checking this out; my friend was actually the one who bought it, and I had been eyeing the dvd on his shelf for awhile. Time after time I asked to borrow it, and time after time he warned me not to. In true horror movie fashion, I didn't heed his advice...and paid for it...Ah, but there are laughs aplenty. I'll go in order: the opening fight scene is a riot, with so many missed punches you would think they were shadow boxing. Mr. Estevez, who looks like a rattier version of Emilio, plays one of the workers leery of a recently excavated werewolf skeleton that has - bone ears. I would be leery as well. This is followed by alot of silliness. One of the workers was cut by the jawbone of the skeleton and turns into a wolf over the course of twenty long movie minutes in one of the most tedious transformations in werewolf history. He then alternates in appearance from hairy wolfman makeup to ape suit to hand puppet. Good stuff.And then our hero is infected with werewolf-itis, and his girlfriend, talking like the great-grandaughter of the gypsy woman in 'The Wolfman' proclaims 'Paul, you eez war-wulf'. He then hilariously twitches as he changes to romp after a couple making out.This leads to two of my favorite scenes. 1) he kills a young girl, chasing her through the night. She falls into a mud puddle and attacks! He throws her into the puddle - and looks at the camera as if the director tells him, 'hey man, you've got to kill her now.' Then he pounces, necking her better than her lover did moments earlier. 2) Yes, the pool hall scene. Tons of fluff, and no one notices the hero changing into a werewolf right at the booth! He then rampages through the hall, kills two men outside its door and runs off. ...moments later, cut back to the hall and the bodies are gone, a few people enter and everyone's still having a good time. His girl is still playing pool and it's super.I'm not sure if the straight faces managed by the cast are due to the skill or unawareness of the actors that what they were doing was utterly terrible. And think, it took two guys to write the script! If you want jump cuts galore, no gore, shaggy ape suits, dreadful day for night photography, and a story that makes no sense - check this one out!"
Fans of Joe Estevez
Michael Pierce | 01/16/2001
(1 out of 5 stars)
"First of all, I would like to clear something up. The cover to this movie, sucks. It does NOT look cool. Second, what the heck was Mr. Zarindast thinking when he directed this piece of crap? Did he say, "I won't do this movie unless Joe Estevez is in it, I owe his brother a favor." Did he purposely direct this movie so that it would suck? I hope so, because that's what it is. Anyway, let me explain. All the actors have accents, and dumb names. An indian turns into a werewolf because he got in a fight and got pushed and fell on a skeleton. Joe Estevez was in the movie, then he disappeared. Then this guy moves in with an old man, gets hit in the back with the werewolf head, and thus, we have another werewolf. And kids, if making out in a car, and you see a werewolf, would you get out of the car just to run and fall and get killed by it? I didn't think so. This is an example of the script: Act 3 Parked car, boy and girl making out. Werewolf approaches. Girl sees werewolf. Girl gets out of car, runs. She falls. FALLING REQUIRED!! Werewolf kills girl. End scene. Just an example of great movie making. The werewolf doesn't even look decent. These guys need a tip from Michael Jackson's Thriller. They would have learned a thing or two. And the fight scenes, Whoa! They blew me away. Out of the room. Krap! When the werewolf is attacking someone, all you see is the stupid mask, and the man he is attacking blocks his face with his arms. You never actually see the werewolf attack, he has no arms (it wasn't in the budget) so the man gets wounds, and is bleeding. He may have just scratched himself with his own wristwatch. I am not sure. There is this whole billiard scene, which has nothing to do with anything. One amusing part is when an old security guard is injected with essence of werewolf, he gets into his car and drives. As he drives, he is changing into a werewolf. He eventually crashes. So, any werewolf fans, if your collection is lacking, please do NOT buy this. It is not worth it. If there are any Joe Estevez fans out there, you must buy this. The only other movie that I know of that he actually stars in is Soultaker. Thus, my review. I hope I have warned you before you watched this film, and for all the unfornunate ones who have seen this, there is therapy available. It's working wonders for me..."
I usually like Werewolf movies, but...
W. Couch | Ohio United States | 11/21/2000
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Ok, I'll keep this short and sweet... if you're looking for a good movie... skip this. If you are looking to spend some money and the "werewolf" section of your dvd library wont be complete without this one... then by all means, go for it... but I was disapointed at the acting, plot, cinametography, special effects... you get the idea. The two best things about this movie are its cover (cause I must admit it looks pretty nice), and its end credits (which made me cheer because it was finally over)"