Craig S.'s Reviews

I won't say that this film is a complete rip off of Escape From New York, but I'll go as far as to say that it is heavily "inspired by" that movie. Costuming, plot elements, and even dialogue can be traced back to Carpenter's seminal film. There are some interesting twists. For example, "Snake" is not after the president, but the last fertile woman and her eggs to save the human race from extinction. Throw in some cyborgs and some miniature 3D models and you have some decent B-Grade material here - a good try at entertainment by gore-obsessed Italian film makers. The effects are obviously fake, but overall the pacing is good and it's not hard to see how the script could have been crafted into a respectable sci-fi film if it had the proper budget and some editing help. In its current state, this is a fun movie to watch with friends and at least be entertained throughout.
Review Date: 2/17/2023

Getting Chuck Norris in two of his early classics is the real find here. Kicking off the 80s ninja craze is the Octagon along with the amusing 'Force of One' where Chuck Norris pits his skills against who is evidently the only guy in the city (besides Norris) who knows anything about martial arts . . .
Review Date: 9/10/2012

I remember watching the non-sequitur cartoons on MTV and trying to figure out what was going on. Eventually, one got some idea of what the storyline was, but I believe the main point of the short snippets was that for all of Flux's ability, a single floor tack botched the entire mission. that's what I remember anyway.
So I figured I check out this film - maybe it's a live action, fleshed-out version of that same story and author's vision? Sadly, this is a poorly written script that is vaguely set in the same conceptual universe. The surreal character of the cartoon shorts is lost in the mundane as the setting falls into being more like Escape from Berlin 1944 instead of super-sci-fi-futurism.
The amount of time that Flux and Goodchild ae able to avoid detection in a small, heavily-surveilled city is astounding. Especially when Goodchild has his face plastered on every wall, including in his own home(?). Seems like the behavior of a narcissist rather than the 'good guy' he's supposed to be. The gun combat at the end is just plain stupid - it's not even video game cinema quality. It's as though people synchronize their movements to be sure they can be shot one x one by Flux. Sithandra and her hand-feet are probably the coolest part of the movie. I would say the explosion balls that allow Flux's escape are cool, except that they would only work in a fortress that has no doors except the one where the prison happens to be.
Skip this one - as I understand it, the original author of Aeon Flux was aced out of involvement in this movie, which is likely why it stinks. I don't have any other exposure to the property, although I'm aware of comics and other animations - check those out instead. They have to be better than this.
Review Date: 3/7/2024

This is one of those films that is "inspired" by a true story. I was inclined to give this standard-fare rags-to-riches crime story a better rating because it had to adhere to 'what really happened' . . . until I learned that it's mostly fiction anyway. I was tipped off by a number of costuming and dialogue elements that seemed anachronistic for the late 60s and early 70s - that, and certain plot elements seemed blatantly unbelievable. I guess I don't have much tolerance for movies that use the 'true story' gimmick to add credibility to their storyline. We might as well say that Die Hard was 'inspired' by a true story about a cop who was 'in a building when a crime was going on'...
Anyway, this movie is one-part Scarface imitation, and one-part procedural cop drama. The procedural portion dominates the second half of nearly 3 hours and seems choppy and rushed by that point, despite the extended length of the film.
Review Date: 1/27/2024

Olympic gymnast Mitch Gaylord becomes embroiled in a seedy Miami underworld with Chinese mysticism / Christian apocalypse (?) mixed in. At no point in this film did any character's actions seem to resemble something a normal person would do given the circumstances, whether mundane or supernatural. The story doesn't flow well because characters keep doing stupid or random things, particularly Gaylord and the two detectives on the case. I'm not sure why Gaylord was used for the role other than perhaps his looks? He doesn't do anything remotely gymnastics related (e.g. Gymkata), and even the chase scenes could have been pulled off by anyone in their 20-30s with a small amount of cardio. If you can make it to the last 15 mins or so of the film, there are some cheap, "What?!", special effects scenes that rapidly try to pull everything together, and some laughably stupid dialogue as the remaining characters reflect on these strange events. Unfortunately, you'll have likely lost interest long before then, and it's doubtful that these special effects could have saved the plot if they were used earlier - they just are not that good. Gaylord's character is just too moronic for the viewer to care what happens to him. The 'religious hitman' character in this film reminded me of the DaVinci Code's 'Vatican hitman' - pathetically bad at his job.
Review Date: 5/29/2023

What starts as a potentially great concept rapidly deteriorates into a run of the mill sci fi monster/alien attack film. The ending is not particularly inventive nor profound. I gave this movie a second chance, making the assumption that perhaps it was an attempt to compress the three Southern Reach novels into one film, so I read the trilogy. This film has almost no correlation to the books once the biologist and team enter Area X. From online info, I can see that the director wrote and began the film when only the first book of the trilogy had been released . . . nothing says “cashing in” like jumping on the author’s work and writing your own ending before the author gets the chance to do so! This explains why the film becomes typical grind about 2/3 the way through and has an inconsistent ending.
I think the writer/director had a blown opportunity here, namely because the trilogy of books is particularly long-winded with relatively little payout for the effort of reading books 2 and 3. Had Garland (the director) waited for the remaining books to be released, then cut the dead weight from them for his film, he would have had a better ending to show for his efforts. It might have even been the film that people online seem to claim that it is. Surprisingly, some online reviewers consider this film to be ‘too intellectual’ for mainstream audiences and contribute this to the lack of box office success. I would chalk it to just not being very good by sci fi standards once it loses connection with the premise of the first book. The ending is beneath the standard of the moviegoers that make intelligent sci fi succeed, plus I’m sure it managed to tick off anyone who had read the series (which had been fully released by the time the movie opened) and found themselves watching a film that had almost nothing to do with the majority of the book content.
I really wanted to like this one, but the fact that it sets the viewer up for something cool, then proceeds to completely blow it, makes for a really bum experience.

Review Date: 11/1/2023

In this highly cinematized thriller based on a real event, Ben Affleck plays a CIA agent sent to recover 6 Americans from Iran during the 70s hostage crisis. The intention to make the entire film tense by showing the Americans always on the verge of being discovered becomes gimmicky by mid-plot. The script also seemed to pander to Hollywood in a way that only a film made by actors like Affleck and Clooney would deem important. Kudos for attention to details and a good job of setting things convincingly in the 70s. Surprisingly at the end, Jimmy Carter offers the opinion that he deserves some credit for the success and further states that by doing so we "protected the honor and integrity" of the United States... Apparently, running covert operations in foreign countries with CIA spooks using forged documents shows 'integrity'? Especially when the film makes clear that the US didn't even want to be publicly associated with the operation and "blamed Canada" for the effort. I mean sure, we can say 'yay for our side' that we got people out, but certainly espionage would never be considered an 'honorable' act, which makes for a ridiculous way to cap the movie (costing it a half star in this review).
Review Date: 12/11/2022

Smartly done comedy that uses a mostly vacant gated community development as the "inescapable" location, pursuant to other 'hunted by psycho and can't get help' genre horror films. Danny McBride is particularly amusing in his role as a sort of 'everyman turned psychotic killer' as the movie unfolds. About the time the movie might get stale, it's over at 1 hour 20 mins.
Review Date: 4/26/2022

The intent of this movie was to make a 'chick flick' and 'guy action movie' at once - the guys will probably be somewhat disappointed by the action, but overall, not a bad outing by Stallone (who has a rep for making pretty bad comedies). Stallone is fairly disposable in this role - he plays the part, but it could be any actor. He just fits because the viewer knows he plays action heroes and tough guys. Madeleine Stowe is actually the star of this picture - she does a decent job of being humorous and makes the implausible plot worth watching. Overall, not the best romance/action film by any means, but adequate if it's what you are after.
Review Date: 1/22/2022

B-movie Action star Mark Dacascos endures a blatant exploitation of I Am Legend / Omega Man with the creative title of 'I Am Omega'. The plot doesn't really follow these movies other than Dacoscos is holed up in his own place after the holocaust. Movie is more shooty than martial artsy. Typical fare with zombie-like mutants running around. Combine this with an Aliens Vs. Predator rip off (AVH) and yet another giant creature attacking Tokyo and you have a 3 film set worthy of being ripped on with buddies as you watch poor acting, plot holes, and cheesy special effects abound.
Review Date: 1/5/2013

The write up on this film claims it is neither a remake, nor a sequel to the Keitel version. While this version has more of a story than the original, it still seems like a remake. I mean, it has the same title, and the first part of the movie seems identical in many scenes. Both movies also share being nearly pointless. There are a few dialogues that were amusing, but not enough to make any of it worthwhile. Too long, and Cage fails to make the viewer feel invested enough in his plight to care what happens to him by the end of the film. Both films rely heavily on shock value over compelling storytelling.
Review Date: 2/1/2024

At first glance, this movie appears to be a low-budget action film, which is a shame since it probably gets overlooked for that reason. It's actually a very informative documentary about paganism in Europe during the Crusades. There is a storyline, but it's not much more than vehicle that drives the documentary, as this character speaks no lines throughout the movie. Instead, we see a series of scenes with narration by the main character as he travels through the various tribal areas of 13th Century Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. This narration is frequently side-stepped as a female narrator fills us in on the big picture of what was happening in these lands from an overall historical perspective. The presentation of the documentary is matter-of-fact, very realistic, and does not shy away from showing pagan life as it was. For this reason, some scenes would be inappropriate for children and certainly not a 'schoolroom' documentary. The animations are quite good and it's clear a lot of work went into the creation of the film. The closing credits show that they did their homework with many technical advisors. So while this movie is not a great pick if you are looking for action on par with 'Braveheart', but if you have an interest in history and culture, this is an excellent film about the grittiness of the Dark Ages.
Review Date: 8/21/2022

Parker and Stone field some laugh out loud moments, but this film probably won't age well with younger audiences. For example, some of the jokes are funnier if you know who Al Michaels is and the kind of sportscaster he was, but without knowing that historical context . . .
It's the kind of film you would expect from the South Park creators, which is funny and strange. Overall, it was a good early outing for the guys, but Team America is definitely the better of the two.
Review Date: 8/29/2022

I was hoping this film would be at worst a cinematized biography of Jim Carroll, but it's a drug movie that could be about anyone dealing with drug addiction. Several lines of Carroll's poetry appear as a voice-over monologue in the movie, but they are mostly concerning how one feels on drugs. I'm no expert on his work, but I'm assuming there's more to it than that, so maybe this was not the best entry point for someone like me with a passing knowledge of his music. The soundtrack list is impressive, but over half of the tracks are apparently so subtle or cut short that I'm not entirely sure where they featured during the film. DiCaprio does a good job of playing a junkie, but it was tough to mentally see him as Jim Carroll. He's too short, despite attempts in the film to hide this fact by using camera angles and short supporting actors. Perhaps I would have enjoyed it more if I didn't already know what Carroll looked like, but then there's a scene with Carroll in it where's he's seated and talking to DiCaprio . . . see what I mean? The guy looks like a giant compared to Leo! Anyway, this film is basically a full-length drug abuse story, with a too-fast wrap up caption about Caroll's success since recovery. Since watching people self-destruct via drug addiction is not what I would consider entertainment, this movie seems more like a drug exploitation film than a biography. As such, much of it has been told in other movies before this one, and after, so not a lot to make this one stand out. Wahlberg gets a chance to play a character-type that hasn't been seen since he became a leading actor in his own right, so that could be of interest to some viewers.
Review Date: 12/5/2023

Entertaining despite many tropes that would now be considered cliche. Moorehead and Price carry the film through a plot that doesn't waste much time getting started. Probably the most interesting part about the film is the fact that the women are presented as capable and intelligent in the face of being terrorized by 'The Bat' - even when they know he is in their home and they are locked in a room! Too often, women in old horror movies are presented as useless or incapable of rational thought - not so with the Bat. It's possible that this film was a predecessor to 'Murder she Wrote?'
Review Date: 11/19/2022

If you are new to Roger Corman's work, this is a good place to start. It's one of his better low-budget films. Try to forget that the lead character is "John Boy" and things will be golden from there.
Review Date: 12/29/2023

Lycanthropy outbreak in NY using fair to low grade CG. Apparently, the army is prepared for such a contingency immediately upon the first sign of giant wolves at JFK airport. This same army later uses a defensive perimeter platoon to assault through a pack of the wolves armed with shotguns, M-16s, and a riot shield(?) in one of the movie's lowest points. New York is strangely depopulated throughout the film, particularly when only two people are shown waiting for the subway in mid-day. The plan to use these 'Battledogs' as military weapons is hatched right away, without any supporting evidence that such an idea would be anything but an uncontrolled disaster. Craig Sheffer is a poor choice as the hero, as is the supporting female cast. There are a few qualified support actors with some experience, but not enough to save this script. The only unexpected part is when the air force accidentally drops a nuke on New York . . . or was it a nuke? I'm not really sure. It seemed like they were talking about using nukes, but maybe they just meant to drop a few conventional bombs? The resulting cloud sort of looked like it was going to be a nuke, but it must have been a weenie nuke. Appeared to destroy about 3 blocks leaving most of Manhattan standing normally at the end aerial view of the damage. At no point was I convinced that any of the soldiers had any military background - the long hair is always a major detraction for me in these kinds of films. It would be so easy for Hollywood filmmakers to just run these scenes by someone who could tell them if they are actually holding a weapon properly, etc.
Review Date: 4/12/2022

This movie sounds much cooler than it actually is. John Saxon is the only capable actor, Carradine does a really awful (and annoying) German accent throughout, and the rest of the cast just states their lines like a 5th grader reading aloud in English class. The funniest part of the movie is the soundtrack selections - wildly inappropriate music for most scenes. It's as if they had rights to certain music and just plugged in what was available at random. Fairly boring, when the movie starts to have some action, it's nearly over. Some of the special effects are okay, but they get offset by really stupid ones. The rating is mostly due to Saxon's efforts - he certainly had a tough slog working long hours in the bee tent, and being stuck with supporting actors that have about as much talent as the bees. Not much here, and there are certainly better killer bee movies out there, so you can skip this one.
Review Date: 11/26/2023

87 mins; a range of sketches from the Benny Hill Show. A good sampling of what the show was like for those who haven't seen it or don't remember it very well. Much of the humor would be considered politically incorrect by today's standards, so audiences sensitive to that kind of thing should probably skip this one.
Review Date: 9/8/2022

Two really good sketches are on this disc: the missing pen sketch and the back-alley fight sketch. The Chicken Lady is pretty good too - these guys weren't always hilarious in every sketch (just like SNL), so this Best of filters out the chaff.
Review Date: 11/25/2022

A highly cinematic treatment of the Bible with extensive use of CG and extended fight sequences. It would appear the intent of the series is to focus on the action-based stories of the Bible, perhaps in an effort to garner interest in the stories from viewers who prefer that style of entertainment. This adaptation takes some latitude with the story, but arguably no more so than treatments of the subject have done so in the past or in school plays. The series chronicles major events of the bible over 10 episodes, but it does not attempt much in the way of interpretation beyond the commonly accepted meanings. Therefore, don't go into this with the expectation that it will be a quasi-documentary, or deep review of Christian faith. It's more of a visual experience that may help viewers imagine the context, setting, culture, and clothing of the era - in that respect, it might be good for younger viewers provided the violent scenes are not too intense for said viewers. Indeed, it is difficult to make any movie about the Bible that could avoid images that are extremely uncomfortable to watch.
Review Date: 2/20/2022

‘General’ Ahmed is the leader of a community aid organization in Watts who wear Che Guevara-style uniforms with Nazi-style armbands in their mission to help drug addicts, homeless, and the hungry. When ruthless crimes are perpetrated by members of the ‘Syndicate’, Ahmed’s second in command asks to start a new unit of men to protect the citizenry from violence. These men usurp authority and immediately begin running their own rackets as soon as the Syndicate is pushed out, treating the neighborhood just as bad as the Syndicate. They begin training their own militia under a banner that resembles the IBEW closed fist with lighting bolts emblem, and they for some reason adopt Nazi style uniforms for their officers, also with armbands. This is apparently the Black Gestapo, in a weird mash-up of Black Power symbolism and Hitler-esque speeches.
The first 2/3 of this movie has some brutal violence and shows some pretty seedy aspects of criminal racketeering. The last third of the movie is like switching the channel to another movie as Ahmed shows himself to be the predecessor to Schwarzenegger in Commando. It’s unfortunate that the entire movie couldn’t have been as fun as these last 20+ minutes are. Ahmed’s ‘Duffel Bag of Holding’ is nothing short of amazing, while the caliber of realism descends into the ridiculous (like shooting someone with a submerged rifle) . . . all to a funky, mid 70s, percussive guitar soundtrack.
Review Date: 6/20/2023

Black Point gets off to a slow start and has all the appearances of a cliche action movie, but then things start to get a little fresher in the second half. Not saying this movie is great, but it did have a few tricks up the sleeve and turned out to be more unconventional than I expected. Caruso is typecast in his usual (only?) type of role, and the supporting cast does a decent job of acting to keep things engaging. Apparently, Thomas Ian Griffith co-wrote the script, and I would say he did a fair job, even if some plot mechanics were busy. Sometimes convoluted plots are preferable to old, tired ones.
Review Date: 3/23/2023

2049 does justice to the visual effects, soundtrack, and set design of the original classic. The action gets a bit slow at times, and the ending sequences don't fit well with the established framework set forth in the first two hours. Harrison Ford seemed under-utilized.
* Spoiler * I'm not entirely sure why K is left alive when Deckard is taken. K's then makes short work of a three vehicle off-world convoy carrying a secret that can destroy the socio-economic fabric of the solar system. Really? One guy with a gun on the front of his car getting the drop on the bad guys manages to foil the whole plot? And if that's within his skill set, then . . . explain why he was left alive again? Especially by the Replicant who kills K's virtual girlfriend and hasn't batted an eye when killing numerous others throughout the film? This plot hole is why the film doesn't get more stars. Seemed like a cheesy and stupidly contrived way to force a showdown scene that wasn't necessary for satisfying the core demographic of moviegoers that love Blade Runner.
Review Date: 7/28/2022

Blue Velvet is like a trial run at Twin Peaks. Both share a lot of common conceptual territory, and a lot of the same actors as well. Lynch has a way of taking his films to the ugliest places in the human condition, and then managing to pull them back out far enough to keep faith in the good of humanity. Not a film where one feels great after seeing, but certainly discussion provoking and memorable. Dennis Hopper is well-cast as a disgusting creep.
Review Date: 3/5/2023

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