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An Angel named Billy

Q. L. Pon | Johannesburg, South Africa | 01/21/2008

(1 out of 5 stars)

"The script needed much work. I thought the writer could have explored more the romantic An Angel Named Billyadolescent relationship between the two boys on the ranch before his father kicked him out of home. The story line and acting are far too superficial and too utopian. The DVD is definitely not worth the price."

Don't hate it, don't love it...it just is.

BME | NZ | 01/28/2008

(3 out of 5 stars)

"Hmmm I don't hate it. I don't love it. It just is. Billy's parents are crap - the Mom has gone to the city (selfish cow) leaving her boys with a loser drunk. Billy gets a brief little kiss from his hunky cowboy pal, the Dad sees and then it is all on. Bad drama here...carries on to even more implausible scenarios. Billy gets thrown out of home. Goes to the city, meets a cutey in his first minutes who feeds him, houses him, befriends him and wants nothing in return - yeah right. Billy gets a job looking after a stroke victim who lives with his gay son. And I am a bit shallow obvioulsy, the stroke victim makes me shudder and I couldn't watch him...felt repulsed. So Billy is there to look after him he is an Angel:0) And the bald drag queen is like a car wreck - horrible but you can't help looking with that twisted look of 'Oh my God how awful' look on your face. And how come the mother (selfish cow) isn't lambasted for child abandonment but welcomed back like the long lost saviour...child services would have had Billy and his brother in this country...where are they in cowboy country??? Soooo, the stroke victim has a son who likes BIlly and voila...the end. No angst, no real passion play, no heart-pounding kissing scenes. A bit disappointing in all really. But the friend ends up with cowboy pal and Billy ends up with stoke victim's son...happy ending. I LOVE happy endings...but this seems like champagne without the crisp bubbles, a bit flat. A bit too easy for my liking - where is the angst??? Don't hate it, don't love it...it's just...hmmm."

Was the director trying to make a comedy??

Siskell and Eggbert | 09/28/2009

(1 out of 5 stars)

"The acting, dialogue, directing, set production.....everything about this movie was just horrible. So let's just focus on it's biggest flaw, the complete lack of believability of this movie's storyline.

1) Billy is spotted kissing his best friend and is kicked out of his house by his crazy cliche bible-thumpin' father. Where does Billy go?? To live with his divorced mother, to find his best friend and cry on his shoulder?? Nope. He decides to hitch a ride to L.A. with only $40 and a backpack (which magically contains at least four or five changes of clothes.)

2)We spend a good 15 minutes with a phone conversation between the ugliest and most cliche drag queen in the world and a guy who's had a few strokes. Maybe I shouldn't laugh at a stroke victim, but it's so obvious his lips are literally glued together to pull off the stroke-face affect. The stroke victim's son is about 40 years old, but apparently the actor playing him hasn't been told this. He plays it like he's 16 with much batting of the eyelashes, over-emoting and naivete. Stroke dad wants son to find a good man. Creepy son decides to hire a "house boy" to take care of stroke dad.

3) Upon arriving in L.A. Billy goes to a small cafe (which appears to also double as the courtyard of stroke dad's home.) He orders only a soda. The bitchy queen waiter, Guy, says, "Sure honey...coming right up." LOL. Yeah, that's a pretty typical response in L.A. He brings the drink and then says "let's go get burgers." The cliche hag whips up the burgers and fries in 20 seconds flat. They chat using horrible dialogue for about a minute, Guy eating only a few fries and Billy eating nothing. Flamy Guy doesn't know a thing about Billy but asks him to move in with him. Back at Guy's apartment which also appears to be just a room in stroke dad's house with a "1A" number stuck on it, Billy asks to take a shower. It literally takes him 15 seconds. They lie in bed shirtless (and it's probably only about 6 or 7 p.m.) and just go to sleep. Guess the writer, director, producer, idiot didn't have any dialogue or plot ideas.

4) Billy calls creepy son about the "house boy" position and then interviews with stroke dad and creepy son. Of course just prior to the interview, Guy and Billy have a ridiculous musical dance scene where they go to get Billy's hair cut. The actor playing Billy must have said he wasn't getting paid enough to get his locks clipped because his hair doesn't change one bit. At stroke dad's house, creepy son does everything but dry hump Billy. They ask nothing about his background, ask for no references and say "You sound perfect!!" So does a serial killer.

5) Creepy son continues stalking Billy to the point of creating uncomfortable scenes for the viewer. Isn't it perfectly normal for a 40 year old gay man to ply his father's 17-18 year old care-taker with margaritas and leer at the boy as he lies in his underwear in bed? Billy appears to have no attraction to creepy son until he comes back from a night out with Guy and his friends crying. Those awful, catty queens were mean enough to call him a "cute nurse." The nerve!! Creepy son makes his move and does dry hump Billy. Two seconds later, after saying they love each other, creepy son goes in for the full molest. The next morning they tell stroke dad about their love. Stroke dad says, "I know...I heard you last night", conjuring up images of stroke dad giving his non-stroke hand a good workout the night before.

6) Billy's awful mother comes to L.A. to spend the day with her son. They shop all day and then return to her hotel room where she nonchalantly tells Billy, over cookies and milk, that his stupid father died a few days after Billy left. Billy's little brother is now living with an aunt, but she hopes to get custody soon. The mother character is as horrible as the lady portraying her.

7) Stroke dad dies, crazy rodeo clown drag queen cries. A lot is said about friends to the end, friends forever, friends don't let queens look like that on camera, etc. I'm not quite sure since I spent the entire scene with a bag over my head. Clowns are scary!

8) After some silly melodrama regarding a kiss that wasn't, Billy and creepy son profess their eternal and creepy love. It's hard to tell if Billy is crying because he does or doesn't want to kiss creepy son. The chemistry is pulsating....or is that creepy son's eyelashes again?

9) The train wreck ends as crazy director wraps up movie by trying to connect everyone. Awful mother and braindead Bozo the drag queen start up a gay dating service. Guy inherits a country home and starts dating Billy's old best friend. Creepy son and Billy ride off in a limo drinking more margaritas. Creepy son dumps Billy when he turns 19 for being too old for him. Says he's looking for more of a Zack Ephron type...circa 2004. What....that didn't happen??? Well there's always room for a sequel....hint hint Greg Osborne."

Train wreck of a movie

Queer North Cineaste | Toronto | 01/22/2008

(1 out of 5 stars)

"What a mess--truly a complete train wreck of a movie. There is nothing in this film to redeem it. It's embarassing and I'm amazed it was made at all. The story is so full of holes it's Swiss cheese. The production values are truly lame. The characters as written are unbelievable and ridiculous. The acting is uniformly bad across all players that nobody is helping this along with their achingly bad performances. Daily soap opera performances are Oscar calibre in comparison. This is the most erratic and inexplicable movie I've seen in a long time. On top of not making sense, it's not even entertaining in a campy way that some bad movies can transcend to. Just plain bad from all angles. I want my money back."