Subject: I have found a DVD that I think you would enjoy
|A Brush With Death|
Actor: Nicholls Melancon
Genres: Action & Adventure, Drama, Horror, Science Fiction & Fantasy
Five cheerleaders spend the night in an abandoned farmhouse; they soon find themselves up against the vengeful spirit of a boy who?s rumored to have painted a portrait with the blood of his brother that he murdered forty y... more »
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Not even bad enough to hate.
Graves | Pennsylvania | 12/03/2007
(2 out of 5 stars)
"I tried to come up with something pithy about this movie, about how bad it was but the words just don't come. It isn't even bad enough to draw out creative insults.
The plot is pretty straight forward. Five 20 something girls, we're told they are cheerleaders but that doesn't enter into this, are off for a weekend away at a country estate one of their rich daddys owns.
Along the way they run into local characters and the local haunted house where rumor says a murder took place and is still considered creepy.
Well the girls decide this would be a cool place to visit in the night. You can, I'm sure, see what's coming. They are of course picked off one by one along with assorted guys they've picked up and one incredibly creepy inbred local by the local wack job who likes to paint pictures in human blood. Hense the title 'brush' with death.
OK this is pretty standard as a low budget slasher flick but these can have charm. This does not. The girls are attractive and dress well but realistically. However camera angles are often odd and sound quality is all over the place, like the boom wasn't always where it should have been. An early flash back to a weirdo shop owner is supposed to set up a red herring but it's just confusing.
It's not the low production values that finalize this production's doom but continuity issues that fall flat and prevent the willing suspension of disbelief.
For example in the "haunted" house the electricity is still on. Something that the locals and even the girl who's father owns a nearby house should have noticed. Most importantly there is no explanation why the killer is able to overwhealm most of the girls and even a grown man. He's not some hulking mass or armed with narcotic drugs. When he's revealed he looks like a younger version of Les Nesman who'd have trouble with my 2 year old niece, never mind grown adults. Maybe the first girl could be surprise but as others know their fate, seeing their companion's bodies, they don't put up enough of a fight to even upset the furniture.
The only reason to rent this movie, for goodness' sake don't buy it, is if you're teaching a class on film and want to show 'what not to do.' Otherwise, leave this drek alone."
Clueless times five
Music Lover in Omaha | Omaha, Ne | 08/04/2007
(2 out of 5 stars)
"Well, the girls were nice to look at. They weren't too bright and it took forever to get to the house where all the action was to take place. I don't see this one ever making anybody's must-see list. In fact, it was so slow moving that it was hard to sit through the whole thing. I did however, and the climax was much like the rest of the film...slooow. It lacked any kind of impact and then two words popped up on the screen that said: "The End" and I thought 'Really? That's it?" The bottom line is, this film is watchable but not fun in any way at any level. If you must watch it, rent it. You probably would only watch it once anyway."
Gordon Freeman | 07/18/2009
(1 out of 5 stars)
"There's not too much to say. I would rather "bob for doodies" in my toilet than watch this garbage again."
Like, welcome to the suck
Jason | Backwater, Alabama | 05/08/2009
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Wow. Just...wow. Normally, I love campy horror movies. Somehow this movie doesn't even allow that. I feel drained.
Five tight-bodied, air-headed cheerleaders drive their Jeep to a remote mansion owned by one of their rich relatives. They run into a perverted mechanic shop-keeper named Walter - who for the purposes of this review I'll call Chester. Chester has a simple assistant named Caleb, portrayed by one of the worst actors in cinema history. Finally there's Ranken, a neighbor named so because his acting is rank. They're all horrible actors, with no sense of timing, delivery, volume, or, well, anything. Look for their bright futures at a convenience store or strip-club near you.
Interspersed pointlessly throughout the movie are flashbacks to the Rue Family farmhouse, where a family of morons once lived, committed murder, and probably engaged in the pastime of determining just how deep a person could jam a finger up a bodily orifice without giggling and/or wincing. I don't know if the name of the house is supposed to be ironic or not, because everyone involved in this steaming pile of horse dung should rue all potential viewers. Naturally, Ranken tells the haunted house story with about the same gravitas as former Information Minister of Iraq Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf (aka Baghdad Bob, aka Comical Ali).
During constantly vapid conversation, awkward games of Truth or Dare, and scenes that made me want to check for a pulse, one of the imbeciles orally excretes that it would be fun to have a slumber party inside the local haunted house. Groupthink ensues.
Bad is predictable. What's not predictable, however, is the fact that nearly every aspect of the film-making is top-ten awful. The camera work looks to be done someone with cataracts and Parkinson's. The audio and score by someone with a malfunctioning hearing aid. The dialogue thought up by the bimbos at a nail salon: "Like, we should totally say something about tampons!" Cue the "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" monkeys for how I should have watched this fetid embarrassment. I've seen better overall production in stop-motion animation videos on YouTube.
Other than T&A, which NEVER gets shown, this movie has nothing going for it. It's as if the film-makers don't even know the rules of B-horror! Make bad movie = show T&A! Them's the rules! Add that to pacing which requires the patience of a marathon runner, literally no concept of scene transition, and the results are abysmal. After a cursory review of each actor's IMDB page, it came as no shock that this travesty is the first time most have been anywhere near a camera.
Viewing this is a suitable replacement for water-boarding."