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Demonic Toys Movie Review from The Massie Twins

thejoelmeister | www.GoneWithTheTwins.com | 11/01/2008

(3 out of 5 stars)

"From David Goyer, the writer of such contemporary science-fiction hits as Blade, Dark City, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, comes the cheesy cult film Demonic Toys. Not to be forgotten amongst his successes (although keep in mind he also wrote Jumper), Demonic Toys is a hilarious little schlock film that reminds us how much fun possessed toys can be when they murder, torture and sexually assault unsuspecting victims.

Judith Gray (Tracy Scoggins) has been having particularly strange nightmares, but shrugs them off when on the battlefield of city streets, cleaning up crime as an undercover cop. During a routine drug bust, psychotic gun dealers Hesse and Lincoln kill Judith's partner, and escape to a rundown toy warehouse. Hesse dies from a bullet wound, but not before bleeding all over a demonic section of the facility, awakening an evil spirit. The demon has been attempting to secure a female human body to be reborn in, and Judith happens to be an ideal candidate. It gains control of several of the toys in the building and proceeds to terrorize the unsuspecting dupes caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A slathering of side characters emerge, mainly for newly possessed knickknacks to wreak havoc upon. Controlled by the demon, a mutant jack-in-the-box, a knife-wielding, vulgarity-spewing baby doll (named Oopsy Daisy), a fanged teddy bear, and an electronic laser-armed robot hunt for our cliché heroes. Aside from Judith, who alternates keeping her cool and screaming wildly, there's Anne, who wanders the warehouse through air vents (much like Newt in Aliens) Mark, a chicken delivery guy with an overabundance of `tude (much like Hudson in Aliens), and Charnetski, the typical overweight security guard who supplies the much-needed shotgun (there's really no one like this in Aliens).

Mark runs his mouth (Chunky Chicken Christ!) with laughably bad dialogue (or appropriately B-movie verbiage) and desperately needs a slap in the face (but wait - he get's one!). At one point he even looks at his watch, shortly after being knocked out by a hulking giant teddy bear monster, not to check the time but to ponder how long this movie drags on. Little girls on tricycles with gasmasks fill in the spots that are missing absurd hallucinations, along with a very naked Miss July, a junior demon with a hard-on, and hilarious moments of dispatching toys with incredibly destructive firepower.

The foul-mouthed Baby Oopsy Daisy evokes constant laughs, as does the nonsensical conversations and pointless characters. Full Moon Studios, who brought us tons of other evil toy movies (see Puppet Master and Blood Dolls) doesn't have any qualms with redundancy. But for all of the poor effects and pitiful plot points that spring from Demonic Toys, the utter cheesiness of the film is devilishly entertaining.

- Mike Massie


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