Search - Evil Christmas: Psycho Santa/Satan Claus on DVD

Cheap crap goes on the "Naughty List" for sure.

J Astro | Iowa | 12/23/2009

(1 out of 5 stars)

"I love me some low budget, exploitation horror cinema and indie flicks and the like, and please don't think I can't appreciate cheap and sleazy films, because I certainly do. I am one with the world of crappy movies. Yet this is not so much a "review" as it is a -WARNING-

Avoid this 'Evil Christmas' package at all costs.

Don't pay $5 or even 5 cents for this. Both (*ahem*) "features" basically amount to some no-talent doofuses & their cast of non-actor family members and acquaintances noodling around with a ratty Santa suit, a meager drizzle or two of fake blood, and a rubber severed arm gag that was most likely purchased outta some holiday boutique's post-Halloween discount crate. The people in front of the lens are completely and obviously devoid of any acting experience or talent, and they stammer out clumsy lines in unrehearsed, halting monotones. The people behind the lens, on the other hand, don't bother with any sort of "story" or imagination or even lighting, for that matter. Concept (for both "films"): Homeless guys in Santa suits, wandering around in what looks like the middle of September while wind blows into the microphone... too many shots used over and over again, lots of truly needless dialog (it's almost like a cinematic filibuster, in places), 100% LAME kills, many offscreen, and the few you DO see look they were choreographed by sixth-graders.

This is the dark side of low (or no)-budget film-making; for every breakout success, there's gotta be millions of failures, and this encompasses the best/worst of all those wasted efforts. Everything that can be wrong with this dreck DID go wrong; I find no redeeming value here. This misbegotten double-header is a lump of obnoxious, amateurish, uninteresting coal, and should not be ingested by anyone, not even by those of us desperate for another holiday horror flick. Whoever foisted this upon the world deserves to have Grinch-pee splashed in their eyes, and then to be stripped of any & all low-rent video camcorder equipment in their possession, so that they can NEVER inflict another artless, skeevy, UGLY piece of junk like this on the dvd-buying populace again. It claims to be part of a "grindhouse" experience; not even close. More like "outhouse".

Recommendations: stick to the Christmas "classics" like any of the SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT entries (your choice), CHRISTMAS EVIL, BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974), BLACK X-MAS (2006), or even DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS (if you feel like "slumming it")."