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Kicked in the face

FrKurt Messick | Bloomington, IN USA | 08/02/2005

(1 out of 5 stars)

"I fully expected to find this film directed by Alan Smithee or some such pseudonym. However, the director Albert Pyun has such credits as 'Brainsmasher: A Love Story' and 'Alien from L.A.' on his curriculum vitae, so (despite the almost-tolerable film such as 'Cyborg') I thought I might have stumbled upon the reincarnation of Ed Wood. However, I know 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'; I've seen 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. This film is no 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'.

This is one of those low-budget, martial arts films designed to capitalise on the success of earlier glories. There was a successful film, entitled 'Kickboxer', which starred Jean-Claude van Damme (and not directed by Pyun). Van Damme steered clear of the sequels to make other films (not all successful; his film 'Coyote Moon' was as bad as 'Kickboxer 4', prompting that director to Smithee out under the non de plume Danny Mulroon). Thus, Kurt Sloane had to have a successor, David Sloane, played by Sasha Mitchell (yes, that guy from the sit-com, 'Step by Step'). David Sloane is obviously not from Europe, so his relationship to Kurt Sloane is, well, who cares? If one is looking for continuity in across the four-arc trainwreck of Kickboxer, one must get used to disappointment. There's often no continuity from scene to scene.

You also have to wonder about a sequel so bad on paper that the actor who plays the villain in earlier segments, Michael Quissi, decides to give it a miss. So, we get a poorly disguised Kamel Krifa as Tong Po (one-time national martial arts champion of Thailand, now a Mexican drug-lord and sex slave trader - does that qualify as a lateral career move?); Krifa isn't even credited in the film, taking Quissi's place. The make-up is so pathetic that the plastic bits of the mask seem to be falling off even before Krifa starts his martial routines. I've seen better make-up jobs at local civic theatre events having to rely on grandmother's make-up case because of no budget.

Anyway, back to the story. Sloane, ambiguous relation to Kurt 'muscles from Brussels' Sloane, has to rescue his wife from his arch-enemy holding her hostage as a sex slave in a desert hideout that doubles as a ranch for martial arts tournaments where the fighting is to the death. Oh, yes, it also doubles as a drug-lord hideaway, with distribution and production and such. By now you're probably asking - how can you go wrong with that set-up? The plot practically unfolds without help into a winning formula, right? Well, it probably did unfold by itself. Sloane is in jail (who knows why, framed apparently, but for what, and by whom? Uh, once again, who cares?), then gets out of jail to go to this tournament. He meets up with Peppermint Patti, er, Megan Lawrence (Michelle Krasnoo) who also wants to go to this martial arts tournament.

First there are tryouts. Peppermint Patti tries, and Sloane fells her with a single stroke. Somehow, she is still permitted into the tournament. Okay. Oh, and it turns out that another contestant is an undercover DEA agent (Brad Thornton, in what appears to have been his only film role ever), just as Sloane it turns out is a former DEA agent. What a lucky combination for them that the martial arts contest is at the drug lord's hideaway!

Of course, they are discovered, but not after furtive scenes with the sex slaves, and Sloane searching for his wife. There is more to life than martial arts, you know. But not much more, apparently. Oh, and what would the film be without some gratuitous torture before getting to the main events - the contest (where the contestants are finally told the 'to-the-death' rule, to the surprise of many), and the final showdown in a martial arts fight that is just sad.

Now, I must confess to be no connoisseur of martial arts choreography, but one doesn't have to follow the ballet regularly to know a bad dancer; this was pathetic, particularly compared to the martial arts performances at the 'tournament' just a few scenes earlier. Here we are having the classic showdown between good and evil, Sloane against Po in a no-holds-barred kickboxing contest, and what do we see? Picnic tables overturned, barely a blow landed against the other, and after practically everyone is now dead, Po makes his escape through a side door. One can almost see him twisting his mustache as a silent-picture villain as he scutters across the lawn and off to Kickboxer 5, if they'd have him.

I know it is bad form to give away the ending, but Sloane and his wife, Peppermint Patti and the DEA agent all live, as we see them all, bruised and bloody, out the door and into the nether world of 'will there be another sequel?'

Hey, what are the odds? That there were FOUR of these films was astonishing enough - probably three too many. 'Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor' - why the aggressor? Who knows? Because martial arts is aggressive, I suppose. 'Kickboxer 4' should have the appendage 'A Sucker Born Every Moment' for anyone who paid to see this.

This is a bad film. BAD. I watched it on a cable channels when it came on; I was half asleep and couldn't find the remote, and couldn't be bothered to get out of bed. This film did have the kind of mesmerising effect of being so bad that one just couldn't stop watching. I drifted off to sleep now and again through the film, but somehow don't think that detracted from the experience.

Mitchell and Nicholas Guest are good actors. I've seen them in shows where they were good. This is not one of them. I can't speak to the other actors, and feel very sorry for Brad Thornton to have this as the only film on his resume. No one deserves such a fate.

Watch it at your own risk.

"

Formulaic but stylish fight-fare.

dieselbreeze | Seattle, WA United States | 03/14/2002

(3 out of 5 stars)

"If you have seen all the other Kickboxer films, you may be a bit dismayed at the tone of this one. It is as different from the first 3 as night is from day. This installment is very dark in tone, having jettisoned the Teacher figure from previous films, and the humor that interaction with him provided. Our hero is now a loner out for revenge upon his nemesis Tong Po. In the first few expository minutes, a voice-over explains that David(I think that's his name) has married, and his wife was kidnapped and is being held by Tong Po. The rest of the story involves a to-the-death competion hosted by T. P. which our hero infiltrates in order to find and free his wife.
This movie would have made a much better stand-alone picture. Mitchell's character has changed so much he might as well be a different man, although it would not have solved the problem of the tacked-on backstory. Besides, a different actor is playing Tong Po! Sure he looks similar, but that is really pushing it!
Sasha Mitchell does well in the fight scenes, showing some grace and variety in his movement. The camera manages to shoot him so you can even see some of what he is doing. Several time Women's Champion Michelle Krasnoo also appears as a bratty girl who wants to fight with the big boys. Her martial arts are much better than her acting. You almost want her to get her butt kicked.
There is not much depth in the story but not much is required. The wounded hero has a just cause, the villain does dastardly deeds with a smile and there are many round-knees and devastating kicks. This movie really just wants to look good and it manages pretty well. There is eye candy for men and women and lots of martial arts.
This is not bad for b-movie fight flicks. The director left room for a sequel should the studio want to try for one more but 4 is enough already! Go find something else to do!"