Search - Massacre on DVD

Terrible, even by low-budget standards...

01/08/2003

(1 out of 5 stars)

"This film begins with a man urinating in front of the camera. That should have been a clue that this film is utterly devoid of any merit. I wanted to turn the movie off after only 5 minutes, yet I had some small hope that it might get better. I was so wrong, it only became more boring and laughable with each passing minute. This could have easily been a 20-minute short film and been at least vaguely enjoyable. But what is it? A 70-minute "movie"The first 20 minutes are incredibly (I stress the word) slow-paced, so much that you may wish to fast-forward ahead. The plot simply goes nowhere and is quite moronic to begin with. We have one woman who was molested by her father and now sees his ghost, so she has sex with almost any man she sees just to make her father's ghost angry? It is incredibly easy to see what's going to happen next. There are no scares or frights to be found.It looks like it was shot on digital film, and i would take a wild guess and say this movie was made for well under $10,000. I've seen student films with NO BUDGET much better than this!I rented this expecting a campy horror film. What I got was a very short movie (though it feels like an eon watching it) that is so SLOW PACED that 99% of viewers will fall asleep from utter boredom. The directing is horrible, the acting is mostly horrible, the script was most likely written in less than a day.I watch a ton of low budget horror movies and it is films like this that make me wonder "who could possibly think this garbage is good???". This simply gives horror movies a bad name. It's films like this one that can be classified as "Micro-Budget". Troma movies look like masterpieces of art compared with this! Don't even waste your time renting this, it's not even worth a single viewing.View at your own risk, just don't say you haven't been warned in advance.Scary? NO. Creepy? NO. Gory? NO. Nudity? YES...but homely women."

Uh huh huh...

meatface | Austin, Tx USA | 01/07/2003

(1 out of 5 stars)

"[...]just...the only thing that kept me from turning off the dvd
was my own sick curiousity of how the filmmakers were
going to finish what they started. [...]Things that were worth seeing: 1.The dismembered girl hanging
from the tree. 2.The chainsaw scene with all the blood just
spraying up at the killer(good laugh there). and 3.The half
naked girl walking down the train tracks. Well, I have to
admit the 1st dream sequence was alright, but still way too drawn out.Now, one cannot tell me I don't like it because it's a low budget
feature when I've seen some low budget horror films that were
VERY good. Ex. The Evil Dead and Phantasm were both awesome
films, despite their low budgets, and neither made me want to
fall asleep when I first saw them.On the other hand, Massacre wasn't as bad as The Howling 8 or 9
or which ever that last [...] one was. Now that is
by far the worst horror movie I've ever see. Massacre comes in
third, after I, Zombie.Only the filmmakers could truly enjoy this film.[...]"

Not just another slasher flick

meatface | 12/10/2001

(5 out of 5 stars)

"Okay I settled in thinking this was going to be 90210 goes camping and gets murdered. And it was all that BUT it actually has a story line and a sub-plot. First off all we have the gorgeous model whose father abused her, the two girls who disappear all the time (are they murderers or lovers?) the creepy old guy (peeping Tom) in the woods, and a ghost who keeps stalking one of the chicks. Suddenly the murders start - An axe, pitchfork, chainsaw, mallet, drill, Need I say more. Oh the acting wasnt bad either."

Evil Dead meets Friday the 13th meets American Psycho!

meatface | 12/10/2001

(5 out of 5 stars)

"I watched this flick thinking that it had to outrageous a title to ignore. Wow! Firstly it has the most grotesque chainsaw scene that I have seen since Scarface. When I wasnt preoccupied by all the babes in bikini's I was freaked out by the suspense. This film had laughs like "Clerks" and severe horror comparable to "Halloween". If this is not recognized as the next hidden gem like the "Blair Witch" then there is no hope for the future of cinema!"