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A Polish Vampire in Burbank
A Polish Vampire in Burbank
Actors: Jim Bruce, Eddie Deezen, Bobbi Dorsch, Steven Dorsch, Tyrone Dubose
Genres: Comedy, Horror
NR     2003     1hr 24min


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Movie Details

Actors: Jim Bruce, Eddie Deezen, Bobbi Dorsch, Steven Dorsch, Tyrone Dubose
Genres: Comedy, Horror
Sub-Genres: Comedy, Horror
Studio: Mti Home Video
Format: DVD - Color
DVD Release Date: 02/11/2003
Original Release Date: 01/01/1985
Theatrical Release Date: 01/01/1985
Release Year: 2003
Run Time: 1hr 24min
Screens: Color
Number of Discs: 1
SwapaDVD Credits: 1
Total Copies: 0
Members Wishing: 1
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Languages: English

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Movie Reviews

Cult classic? Probably
Jeffrey Leach | Omaha, NE USA | 06/09/2004
(4 out of 5 stars)

"Every once in a while, a super low budget film comes along that manages to do it right. "A Polish Vampire in Burbank" is one of these films, a shot on Super 8mm spoof of the vampire film genre that manages to look better than its component parts. I have seen ultra cheap movies, shot on video affairs that should have gotten past the planning stage. I have seen equally bad films shot with film stock. But I have never seen a Super 8mm film that looks as good as this one. Just compare Mark Pirro's "A Polish Vampire in Burbank" to Nathan Schiff's "Weasels Ate My Flesh." Both films were shot at roughly the same time, both used 8mm film, and both directors had to improvise special effects to finish the film. The differences between these two movies are amazing. Pirro's film looks better than its budget, strikes a lot of the humorous chords it sets out to strike, and sounds great. Schiff's film rarely connects with the viewer, looks awful, and sounds even worse. It just goes to show you that an enterprising filmmaker-in this case, Mark Pirro-can overcome any obstacle to realize a vision. And, according to the numerous extras included on this disc, Pirro had to overcome more obstacles than Nathan Schiff faced. "A Polish Vampire in Burbank" is the story of a hapless teenaged vampire named Dupah (Mark Pirro). The teen lives with his family in a creepy castle (!) in Burbank with his vivacious sister Yvonne (Marya Grant) and his demanding father (Hugh O. Fields). Dupah isn't a self-starter type. He spends his nights lounging around the castle watching television, waiting for his relatives to return home in the morning with his daily snack. What is it? A baggie full of blood complete with drinking straw. His perpetually disappointed father has finally had it with his lazy son. He announces aloud that he will no longer provide for Dupah, that the young vampire must go out into the world and feed himself. As his father says, the son must become a "bloodwinner" in the house. The wimpy Dupah is concerned by his father's latest tirade until his sister vows to help him. She'll show him all the ropes by teaching him how to approach potential victims, how to charm them, and how to drink their blood. Her brother is doubtful he will succeed, especially considering what happened to his older brother, but failure is not a viable option. With sis leading the way, Dupah heads out into the sunny climes of California determined to make good. He even meets a likely victim, a health spa instructor named Delores (Lori Sutton) with an obsession for all things vampire. How could a guy fail to win in this situation?Dupah does fail because he falls in love with his intended target. Delores's love for vampires makes it quite difficult for Dupah to drink her blood. As he becomes more involved with the woman, he meets her dippy roommate Misty (Bobbi Dorsch) and an ex-boyfriend with the potential to cause all sorts of problems. He also rediscovers his deceased brother, Sphincter, in the form of a sass-talking skeleton. We learn that Dupah's brother suffered the worst fate a vampire can encounter-he didn't get home before the sun came up-so he melted away to mere bones. Sphincter stands as an example to Dupah because he, too, was reluctant to prey on human beings. We also meet some bible thumpers who practice "Judo for Jesus" and a conflicted werewolf. Will Dupah finally manage to live up to the high expectations of his family? Will Delores and Dupah find true love? Will Misty learn to study before watching test patterns on television? Watch and see."A Polish Vampire in Burbank" is probably a must see for horror film fans, not because the movie is gory or scary, but because it so happily spoofs one of the bedrock subgenres in the larger horror film universe. Sight gags and jokes abound-Dupah has a poster of Farrah Fawcett pinned to the lid of his coffin. A guy attempting to strike a deal with a woman of the night, when asked if he's "got the bread," holds up a loaf of bread. Sure, it's ridiculous most of the time-often in the way that "Airplane" was ridiculous-but it is more fun than not. Arguably the most intriguing element of the film is Eddie Deezen's role. Deezen, instantly recognizable to film fans from the 1980s, originally took the part of Dupah but dropped out before filming finished. This huge problem required Pirro to step into the lead role, and he ended up doing a great job. You do see Deezen at the beginning of the film, in all his geeky glory, but now he's Dupah's brother. The whole idea of creating the talking skull came about because Deezen bailed out of the picture.The disc contains a huge amount of extras, including interviews with cast members, a history of the film's creation in the form of a thirty minute documentary called "Polish Vampire: Behind the Fangs," interviews with Pirro, a commentary track with Pirro, and several deleted films showing more of Deezen's work. Listening to the extras is worth the time. Pirro explains in detail the difficulties of making a film on less than three grand. He had to record the film's entire audio track after wrapping up the shoot, which meant Pirro had to imitate the voices of some of the other characters. Give "A Polish Vampire in Burbank" a once over if you like spoofs. You probably won't be disappointed."
Dupah, we love you.
Deonna Pinson | USA | 02/02/2003
(5 out of 5 stars)

"You too will come to love and revere Dupah (no, the name is not Polish) as he tries his best to be all that he can be. You will chuckle when his vampire parents bring him home a sandwich bag full of O+, which he drinks through a straw. You will guffaw as his vampire brother, Sphincter, gets beaten by a girl with a huge wooden cross and a shirt that reads "Judo for Jesus." This is the campiest, the cultiest, the all-around best horror spoof of all time. Forget "Scary Movie." It doesn't hold a candle."
Entertaining and funny
Kirk Alex | 12/18/2002
(4 out of 5 stars)

"First off, though, you'll want to go along with the fact this zero budget wonder was made with no money, etc. and you'll see plenty of flaws. It was shot on Super 8 (film, not video) and it shows...I found it entertaining and am a big Mark Pirro fan. This is someone who loves film and it shows. Most Hollywood comedies are not only not funny, but painful to sit through--because nothing works in them, and there you are wondering where the millions went and what was it for?...

Like I said: it's zero budget, so don't expect Groundhog Day or It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, etc. but if you can accept and appreciate it for what it is and the arduous conditions the filmmaker had to work under (his main lead Eddie Deezen dropped out midway through and Pirro had to step in as Dupah, the young vampire) you'll have a good time.

I have always felt that if the talented Pirro were given a decent budget that he would be able to turn out something pretty...solid--and who knows, one day it just might happen. I'd bet on him, and if I had the means I would invest in his films myself. Until then, we have A Polish Vampire In Burbank, among other films that the resilient Mark
Pirro has made. We had fun watching this little gem.

By the way, Lori Sutton, Dupah's blond girlfriend in the film, is absolutely stunning. Too bad she retired from acting early on. Would love to see her attempt a comeback in another Pirro production one day."
Skeletal Sphincter In A Porkpie Hat
Robert I. Hedges | 02/04/2010
(2 out of 5 stars)

"Made by and starring Mark Pirro as Dupah, "A Polish Vampire in Burbank" is a low budget horror spoof with a decent premise, but lagging execution. Also featuring Eddie Deezen (the actual credit reads "With Eddie Deezen as 'Sphincter'"), Conrad Brooks (of Ed Wood fame), and I'm sorry to report, Paul Farbman as "The Queerwolf." With a cast like this how could you miss?

Dupah is a slacker and very reluctant vampire, living in a castle in Burbank with his hottie sister and oppressive father, he hangs out all day in his coffin, which has the famous Farrah Fawcett poster inside. Dupah waits for his Dad to bring him takeout baggies of leftover blood (which he drinks with a straw) every night, until finally Dad puts his foot down and insists that Dupah become a "bloodwinner" in his own right. Dupah is shy because he is embarrassed that he has small fangs. His sister insists that "size means nothing" and takes Dupah out for his first blood.

We quickly learn that Dupah had a brother, Sphincter, who was an even less successful vampire than Dupah. There is extremely bad stop motion footage of Deezen disintegrating into a skeleton (he wasn't back home before the sun rose), and Sphincter returns as the ghostly skeleton. The effect is even less terrifying than you might expect. As an aside, I have to mention the soundtrack at this point: it is heinous, particularly in the Sphincter-as-skeleton part of the film. Talk about a rasp to the head.

Dupah finds a girl, Delores Lane (Lori Sutton), who is not only pretty, but is crazy about vampires. How could Dupah not get himself some blood? Easy: he falls in love with Delores. The next few minutes of the film are probably the worst. They involve Delores, Misty (Delores' valley girl roommate with the most bogus diction ever), Dupah, Sphincter, the Queerwolf, an amazingly stupid Jacuzzi encounter, a pool party, the worst CCR cover band in history, and an even worse Sonny and Cher impersonation, whose singing causes a black cat to scat like Scatman Crothers. You need no more details than that to accurately evaluate the comic genius present here.

Dupah is having a difficult time biting Delores: he's thwarted by everything from the Queerwolf, to the sun, and finally, a garden shed. The best scene of the film (involving a Solarcaine billboard) ensues, and, despite mocking Dupah's small teeth, Delores is finally bitten to the victorious anthem of the "Rocky" theme. (Boo!) Once bitten, Delores really gets into the whole biting scene. When Misty and Delores' ex-boyfriend get frisky with a slinky (don't ask), the newly vampiritic Delores puts a bite on her ex in the most painful way imaginable. Ultimately both Dupah and Delores transmogrify into skeletons in the sun and a dog steals Sphincter's foot, putting the universe once again in proper alignment.

The DVD features lots of extras, including a director's commentary, "Behind the Fangs: The Making of 'A Polish Vampire in Burbank'", deleted scenes, and trailers. I actually found the extras more entertaining than the film itself. The film had numerous production problems, availability issues with Eddie Deezen apparently ranking as chief among them. The movie does have some funny moments, but could have been much better with a bit more nuance. "Airplane!", for example, is a legendary spoof that appeals to all ages; "A Polish Vampire in Burbank" has difficulty attracting an adult audience due to the puerile nature of the script. Some B-movie aficionados will like this movie, but many purists won't because Pirro is intentionally trying to make a B-movie, which diminishes the attraction for many true fans of bad movies."