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Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous
Private Valentine Blonde Dangerous
Actors: Jessica Simpson, Vivica A. Fox, Steve Guttenberg, Aimee Garcia, Olesya Rulin
Director: Steve Miner
Genres: Comedy
PG-13     2009     1hr 38min

Megan Valentine was America's sweetheart. But her latest movie is a bomb, and a crooked accountant has left her broke. So she's doing what anyone else would do - joining the Army. Now, there's no star treatment, no stunt d...  more »

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Movie Details

Actors: Jessica Simpson, Vivica A. Fox, Steve Guttenberg, Aimee Garcia, Olesya Rulin
Director: Steve Miner
Creators: Avi Lerner, Bill Gerber, Boaz Davidson, Chris Bender, Danny Dimbort, April Blair, Kelly Bowe
Genres: Comedy
Sub-Genres: Comedy
Studio: Sony Pictures
Format: DVD - Color,Widescreen - Subtitled
DVD Release Date: 02/03/2009
Original Release Date: 01/01/2008
Theatrical Release Date: 01/01/2008
Release Year: 2009
Run Time: 1hr 38min
Screens: Color,Widescreen
Number of Discs: 1
SwapaDVD Credits: 1
Total Copies: 1
Members Wishing: 0
MPAA Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Languages: English
Subtitles: English, French

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Member Movie Reviews

Callie K. (ballofglitter) from GRAND ISLAND, NE
Reviewed on 5/8/2014...
Love this movie. Jessica Simpson did so well. It reminds me a lot of the 80's movie with Goldie Hawn Private Benjamin. I like Private Valentine better :)
Jessica J. (JessyBird03) from MOORE, TX
Reviewed on 2/20/2009...
(a) She joins the ARMY, not the Marines.
(b) She is at Fort Jackson, NOT Camp Pendleton.
(c) The premise of the movie is NOT that she is unable to land a military role.

In this movie, the actress finds herself without a home and penniless after her uncle takes all of her money and runs. She crashes her car and ends up crashing for the night in a doorway in NYC, which turns out to be the doorway for an Army recruitment center. She mistakenly joins the Army and upon arriving at Fort Jackson, realizes her mistake. But the commander won't allow her to leave because he can't have a celebrity jump ship when recruitment is so low.

This was actually a pretty good movie. It was quite funny and Jessica Simposon is getting much better at acting. Plus, guys, she manages to make the Army uniform pretty cute.
3 of 5 member(s) found this review helpful.

Movie Reviews

"That dress would be perfect if we were premiering a movie c
H. Bala | Carson - hey, we have an IKEA store! - CA USA | 09/20/2009
(3 out of 5 stars)

"I'm betting your liking this film may hinge partly on where you stand on the whole Jessica Simpson thing. Do you love her, loathe her, don't give a dang about her? Me, I don't think much of her singing and I'm leaning towards tepid when it comes to her acting skills. But I think it's beyond debate that she's a straight-up stunner, and my feeling is that she's kind of gotten a bum rap from the press and paparazzi. Acting career-wise, I'm not sure that Jessica Simpson will ever star in a critically acclaimed picture, her best movie so far being Employee of the Month (Widescreen Edition). But that doesn't mean that her cinematic stuff isn't worth checking out. So, yes, I saw PRIVATE VALENTINE: BLONDE & DANGEROUS, and I survived it. Fact is, I even liked it.

Jessica Simpson, minutes into the movie, eventually got on my good side, and she eventually wore down my skepticism. She plays down-and-out actress Megan Valentine whose latest flick has her co-starring with a talking dog. Megan Valentine is sunny and oozes that Hollywood sense of entitlement and, well, let's just call her naive. Her entourage doesn't really like her, her cousin emptied her bank account, and her boyfriend has a boyfriend. So a fit of boozy despondency later, and Megan, looking to make a drastic change, ends up enlisting in the U.S. Army.

You can suss out the developing shenanigans in boot camp. It's pretty much what happens when a Hollywood diva clashes with the military's proud, rigid traditions and long history of structured abuse. The material won't knock your socks off, the jokes are stale, and you might sprain your eyeballs rolling them so much. But what I wasn't expecting was just how appealing Jessica Simpson could be in this role. Underneath the predictable spoiled airhead princess act, there's a core of vulnerability, and it's this element which made me sort of buy into Valentine's journey from superficial and pampered to Army strong and squared away (but still an airhead). Simpson doesn't get points for being a nuanced comedienne here. She gets by on sheer likability and, okay, on her bodacious curves (what can I say, I'm a guy).

We're not treading on comedic gold here. PRIVATE VALENTINE doesn't come close to being as good as PRIVATE BENJAMIN or Stripes (Unrated Extended Cut). You look at a scene like the one with the girls romancing their chocolate bars or Simpson's character demanding for her stunt double when ordered to do exercise drills, and you get an idea of the sort of yucks typified here. Again, Simpson muddles thru on the strength of her appeal.

But her surprisingly decent supporting cast has her back. Vivica A. Fox marches in as the tough drill sergeant with the embarrassing past, and Cheri Oteri steals scenes as the gung-ho re-enlistee. But it's her fellow Army recruits - nicely acted by Aimee Garcia, Jill Marie Jones, and Olesya Rulin - who help to shape Valentine's growth. And it's always nice whenever there's a Steve Guttenberg sighting, if only to let us know that the guy's still alive.

It's hard to overlook the commonality between Megan Valentine and Jessica Simpson herself. Both persons tend to be not taken seriously; their work is considered fluff. In the end, Valentine actually comes off better, because she's in a movie and that allows her closure and a definitive happy ever after. In the end, Private Valentine has done her soul searching and taken steps to take control of her life and her career. In real life, things aren't so clear cut, clarity comes and goes. I guess I'm saying, Jessica Simpson deserves a break or two. Although, part of the equation is that she also needs to make her own breaks. I'm thinking, she ought to try to expand the types of acting parts she gets. "Ditzy" can't be her only preferred niche, can it?

The DVD bonus features suck. There are two very brief deleted scenes that are absolute time wasters: Vivica A. Fox's 1st Sergeant Morely cursing (but bleeped) at paparazzi & the fat paparazzi kid talking smack in his office. The 9-minute Making Of featurette has a fun factor in that the cast talks about how gross it was with the icky swamp and the fear of chiggers and how even scarfing down chocolate bars can get old really quick (re: spit buckets). And that's it for bonus features.

PRIVATE VALENTINE: BLONDE & DANGEROUS (a.k.a. MAJOR MOVIE STAR) is fluff but, unlike Simpson's earlier effort -the soul-killing BLONDE AMBITION - this one is watchable fluff, and I'm recommending it. Plus, who knew having past experience as a pole dancing stripper qualifies as a skill asset in the U.S. Army?"
Better Than I Thought It Would Be
Fred Rayworth | Las Vegas, NV United States | 03/04/2009
(4 out of 5 stars)

"I have to give the kid credit. Though she is portrayed by the media as a typical dumb blonde (partially her own fault), I saw a mature young woman with more than a bit of brains break through in her performance. This is certainly no movie for everyone, but though totally predictable and clichéd, I liked it.

This doesn't even come close to Private Benjamin, which is what I thought it was ripping off, but in the end, there is little to compare them (though a lot of other people seem to be doing just that).

Being a 24 year Air Force veteran, I can't imagine the basic training scenes are the least bit realistic except on a very shallow level. But so what? It was a story about a spoiled actress finding herself and the military was just the setting. Yeah, a well worn story line, but how many movies out there are really all that original?

MS Simpson gets more than the average share of malignment from the press, though I really think she's brought a lot of it on herself. The kid can really act, but with all the concentration on her love life, tight jeans, and that Chicken of the Sea thing, she has her work cut out for her if she can ever be taken seriously. She's even having trouble with her country music career. Being under a microscope doesn't make performing any easier. I guess since she's Jessica Simpson, she's not allowed to have an off night with her singing, or in this case, what many would call an "off movie."

If she ever gets her stuff together, I'm sure she could prove herself with more serious roles.

Private Valentine is surely fluff, but I certainly don't feel ripped off for my rental fee. Recommended.
Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous
KAM | Concord, New Hampshire | 06/04/2010
(5 out of 5 stars)

"At first i didn't think very much about the plot, but i hoped that it wasn't waste of time. When i started watching it, i just started laughing non-stop!"