Subject: I have found a DVD that I think you would enjoy
Actors: Tom Hardy, Michelle Van Der Water, Tony Todd, Lex Shrapnel, Jonathan Readwin
Director: Jonathan English
Genres: Horror, Science Fiction & Fantasy
IN AN IRON AGE VILLAGE 8 YOUTH MUST BE SACRIFICED EVERY 5 YEARS TO A BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER, THE MINOTAUR. WHEN HIS LOVE IS LOSTTO THE SACRIFICE, THEO BELIEVES SHE IS STILL ALIVE & SETS OFF TO THE PALACE INTENT ON KILLING TH... more »
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Rhonda P. (rhonnie40) from CHARLES CITY, IA
Reviewed on 8/5/2012...
It was a little predictable
1 of 3 member(s) found this review helpful.
Wow. A splatter flick ripped (off) from classical Greek my
Lawrance M. Bernabo | The Zenith City, Duluth, Minnesota | 04/23/2006
(3 out of 5 stars)
"Theseus is pretty much a forgotten figure when it comes to Hollywood movies based on Greek mythology. You are more likely to find Theseus in a television series, especially if Hercules is the main character, or in a production of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." There is a 1961 Italian film, "Teseo contro il minotauro," but that is just another forgotten "sword and sandals" beefcake film. Theseus is considered the greatest hero in Athenian history and while someday his story will be given the same treatment the Perseus ("Clash of the Titans"), Achilles ("Troy"), Odysseus ("The Odyssey"), and even Jason ("Jason and the Argonauts") have received, I am here to tell you that "Minotaur" is not that film. In the final analysis, this is not so much a bad film as one that is just not good.
First of all, if you were expecting this to be the story of Theseus, the young prince of Athens, who slew the Minotaur in the Labyrinth that Daedalus built for King Minos beneath his palace on the island of Crete, you are going to be sadly mistaken. First time screenwriters Nick Green and Stephen McDool set the story in the Iron Age, which means it smacks more of Robert E. Howard and the Hyborian Age of Conan the Barbarian than it does of the poet Homer and the Golden Age of Greece. So we are talking dark stone rather than white marble, or even the colorful frescoes from the Minoan palace at Knossos. Historically the Iron Age refers to the Dark Ages of Greece, which came after the dominance of the Mycenaeans, which extended beyond the High Minoan period that ended with Knossos being destroyed (specifically, iron tools are in use in Greece after 1050 BCE, while the Mycenaean take over of Knossos was four hundred years earlier).
Instead of Theseus, prince of Athens, we have Theo (Tom Hardy), the son of Cyrnan (Rutger Hauer), the ruler of the mud huts of Thena. Instead of King Minos we have Deucalion (Tony Todd), and instead of Ariadne or Phaedra, we have Raphaella (Michelle Van Der Water), Morna (Maime McCoy), and Didi (Lucy Brown). So, Theo also has a princess of sorts that is willing to betray her people to help him, but he also brings along his own future bride sort just to up the romantic elements on this one. Not that there is any time for that because what happens in this 2005 film is that it is explained that every three years Thena needs to send eight youths to be virgin sacrifices to the Minotaur and the next thing we know Theo and seven others have been captured and dumped into the Labyrinth to die, couple by couple.
This is where "Minotaur" clearly becomes a splatter flick. After all, the Minotaur has these giant curved horns and those are obviously perfect weapons for impaling the young men and women who are running around screaming (actually standing still and saying harsh things can find you skewered just as well). This means we are in standard splatter flick territory, with pretty looking young people running around trying not to get killed and failing miserably. The Labyrinth is not really a maze but rather your standard underground cavern system. More importantly, in terms of indicating we are clearly no longer in the realm of classical mythology, the Minotaur is just a monster bull, with big teeth and flayed skin, rather than a man with a bull's head. This despite a prologue running on about how the people wanted their god to be made flesh and had the queen of Minos breed with the deity to give birth to the Minotaur.
Consequently, "Minotaur" is so far removed from the mythology that continuing to complain that nothing is right is pointless since the myth of Theseus was reduced to a single sentence and then turned into a series of gory deaths. Instead I want to know how this monster bull keeps sneaking up on his victims. There is also an unnecessary modern touch in having the whole idea of sacrificing young people to the Minotaur be big lie intended to cover up the failure of the Minos government to create an acceptable god (just creating the monster makes the story work without adding political deception into the mix). But even by its own logic, this movie fails because whether the horns go through the body or the body falls on the horns, there are really not that many different ways of impaling young people. Final Note: Ingrid Pitt, who is fondly remembered from several Hammer films (she was the title character in "Countess Dracula") as well as being in "Where Eagles Dare," has a brief appearance early on as the soothsayer, and the fact that we do not recognize her is sad on at least two levels."
Minos. Bull. Mino. Taur. Get it? Makes sense? Right? Heh heh
TrezKu13 | Norfolk, VA | 04/23/2006
(1 out of 5 stars)
"This movie COULD have been cool. It doesn't take place in ancient Greece, but instead a weird kind of fantasy world where an evil "dark empire" (then again, is there ever a "bright, happy empire" that does terrible things?) captures people from villages in a Nordic realm to sacrifice to their god, the famed minotaur. The chieftain of one such village usually keeps his son out of this sacrificial practice, but the prince gets a message that his girlfriend (who was taken away) may still be alive in the labyrinth. So he sneaks aboard and enters the world of Minos. Oh yeah, by the way, the chief is played by Rutger Hauer. How did Hauer go from giving one of the best monologues in film history in "Blade Runner" to starring in five minutes of a bad Sci-Fi Channel original film?
This is where the movie gets flushed right down the crapper. You're introduced to the evil priest/king/ruler/big cheese/whatever guy of Minos. He sniffs some kind of drug thing from a skull, which was cool at first but gets stupid after the tenth time in five minutes.
"Ah, the sacrifices!" *sniff* "Send them to the cages!" *sniff* "They will suffer!" *sniff* "At the hands of the minotaur!" *sniff* "......." *sniff*
Then our beloved characters - who we care so much about at this point - are dumped into the labyrinth. Here's where things REALLY get stupid. Now, let's say you're in a labyrinth where you KNOW there's an evil monster hunting you down to kill you. Would you:
A) Be as quiet as possible so you can live to see another day.
B) Yell every word that leaves your mouth, allowing the minotaur to hear you and go after you.
You would pick A because you are what we call a "smart person." These characters, however, all pick B. Why? I have no idea. But there were many times during this movie when my friends and I were telling the characters to shut up. There's one humorous moment where a guy and girl are climbing out of the labyrinth and the minotaur appears below them. The minotaur is totally oblivious to their presense until - UNTIL - the girl SCREAMS!
The other big issue I had was that the minotaur doesn't really kill the people by chewing them up or trampling them. Half of the characters are killed by either: 1) falling on the minotaur's horn or 2) standing there in the open and letting the minotaur impale them. Remember the girl who gave away her position? She fell on the minotaur's horn. What's even more humorous is watching the minotaur wave its head trying to get the victim off. It seems more annoyed at its pray than hungry for them. It's a wonder this thing can eat any thing at all.
I was willing to give this movie a shot, but as usual everything's ruined by poor acting and a bad script. If you're really interested, you can turn it off after the first five minutes - you won't be missing anything after that. No, in fact, just pick up a guide to Greek myths at Barnes and Nobles and reread the minotaur legend. Whatever you picture going on in your head will be ten times better than this film."
TROY meets ALIEN
Gygos the Stupendous | NWT | 07/01/2006
(3 out of 5 stars)
"If you know what the greek myth this is loosely based is about, you'll know what this is about. However, the hero Thesus is renamed Theo, and he doesn't get any string, weapons, or help from the Gods. What he does get, however, is flammable gas and a troop of imbiciles who pretty much just stand around shouting waiting for the Minotaur to come kill them.
The CGI and puppetry used for the monster are pretty good, and the creature gets a good amount of screentime. However, it doesn't show up until the 50 minute point. Up until then, its just people talking about it every once in a while, a rather stupid fist fight, and various other ridiculous-ness.
The acting is pretty good, but some of the charactars are rather bland. However, there is some unintentional comedy here and the wires holding some one up when their climbing a wall or something are on two occasions clearly visible.
The DVD features include deleted scenes, trailers, an audio-commentary, and an effects montage.
Overall, MINOTAUR is worth a weekend rental, but nothing more."